The Life and Times of:Young Link
by Numdenu
Summary: CHAPTER 38 UP! Enter the Spartan and his Symphonian Badger of Apollo! YL is, quite predictably, beaten in a battle of wits! Yeah, nothing that new. Rated for...minor...swearing.
1. Bike Race Part 1!

Ok, this is my first fanfic EVER! So, please, be nice!

I DO NOT OWN NINTENDO, SUPER SMASH BROTHERS, OR ANY OF THE CHARACTERS THAT APPEAR IN THIS STORY EXCEPT "THE AUTHOR", WHICH IS ME (and I own a bike too, if anyone cares….)!

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The wheels going round and round…

The bike's right training wheel plummeted into a ditch, causing the whole bike to topple over itself, with its young Hylian rider. Young Link groaned. How many times has that happened? He staggered up and picked up his bike. Samus whizzed passed in casual wear, for once, rollerblading backwards. She gave him a look of pity before tripping over Pichu, who was doing the worm.

"Pichu pi!"

"Well, sor-REE!" Samus picked herself up again.

It wasn't fair. Everybody could ride a bike properly except him. Young Link sighed and trudged off. Perhaps he'd be more welcome inside the mansion….

"Hey! Mini-me!" Young Link looked up as his older self came striding over. "Seen the Princess around?" Young Link shook his head. "Nope. Just came in 'cuz it was hot." Link wasn't fooled when he saw his younger self's skinned knee. "It was the bike again, huh?" There was no verbal answer; just a nod. "Ah. I see," Link said as he looked around. "Say, it's pretty boring in here…one-man video games sometimes just don't cut it."

Young Link looked up with glee, ran over to the Gamecube, and stuck in SoulCalibur2. Link chuckled, then grabbed the controller and selected, well, himself (Link IS on the Gamecube version of SC2, don't ask).Young Link groaned, as he was best with his older self. Then he just shrugged and chose his second-best: Kilik. And so the two Smashers waged an all-out war on that one little game, and the bike incident was forgotten.

Marth just happened to stroll past, and saw the two laughing, while the onscreen fighters beat the crap outta each other. He snickered to himself and walked outside.

"Hey! Marth! Wuzzup?" Roy ran over. "Oh, nothing, Roy, nothing. The two Links are inside beating the crap out of each other." Roy blinked. "Really?" "No," Marth sighed,"they're playing a video game."

"Which one?"

"SoulCalibur2."

"Aww, man, the big one's crazy about that one."

"Oh well. He's not playing it all the time."

A chime sounded. The Master Hand was calling in all the Smashers for lunch. The Links turned off the Gamecube, satisfied with their fun. Then a familiar girl, with golden hair, and a pink dress walked by, pointed ears sticking out in plain sight.

"Zelda! Where ya been?" both Links exclaimed at once.

"Out." Zelda proudly held up a bag with "JC Penny" written on the side.

After they all were seated at the grand, elaborate table, the Master Hand appeared. "Today, the author was kind enough to cook for us. Right. In other news, tomorrow will be a BIKING COMPETITION!" All the Smashers ooh'ed and ahh'ed. Except Young Link. Those training wheels slowed him down so much, but he couldn't balance without them. But if he didn't enter, he was going to be looked down upon. Forever teased and called "Chicken" by the other Smashers. Especially Ganon….

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Later that night, Young Link snuck onto his elder self's IM to try and calm himself down by being his mischievous self...

HeRoOfTiMe: -snicker- hi!

NOTANELFMAIDEN: …snicker? Link?

HeRoOfTiMe: hehe…no his mini-self!

NOTANELFMAIDEN: o.O OMG I WILL TELL UR OLDER SELF!

HeRoOfTiMe: ...hehe? sry, Zel

NOTANELFMAIDEN:K

HeRoOfTiMe: oop

NOTANELFMAIDEN: lucky I wasn't talking to anyone…get off NOW!

HeRoOfTiMe: ok! ok! seesh!

HeRoOfTiMe has signed out.

And luck would have it, that Link strolled into his room about the time Young Link signed out…. "Ehehehe…I can explain!"

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THE NEXT DAY:

"So, anyways-"

"Zel, I know. I SAW him," Link groaned.

Young Link hadn't even touched his breakfast yet. He was too worried about what to do…oh, what to do…today was the day of the race, the dreaded bicycle race. He wasn't ready, was too scared….

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Well, that's the first chapter! Thank you all for reading this! Yes, this IS about a bike race, who cares. It's got SSBM characters. And IM. Ok. Read & Review, please!


	2. Bike Race Part 2!

Haha! The second part of Y.Link and the Bike! Yay! Happy day! Ok, here we go!

DISCLAIMER: I DO NOT OWN NINTENDO, SSBM, OR ANY CHARACTERS THAT APPEAR IN THIS STORY! I DO OWN THE BIKE, HOWEVER!

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The dreaded day was upon the young Hylian…

"Mini-Me?"

He could see himself, coming in last, doing pitifully….

"Mini-Me, are you okay?"

Or he would crash, and break his neck…

"Dining room to in, Mini-Me!" Link shook his younger self hard.

"Whaaa!" Young Link was startled by this shaking. "What is it, Big-me?"

"You don't look so good…are you still competing in the bike race?"

Young Link stuttered. "B-b-b-bike race?"

Link sighed and shook his head. "Yes, Mini-Me. The bike race. Master hand said it would be today."

Young Link almost fell out of his chair; if Mewtwo hadn't been sitting there, he sure would have fallen out. Instead, he just fell on the psychic cat. Mewtwo scowled. "Stupid swordsman! Keep your younger self TO yourself!"

Link blinked (pardon the "word fun"). And Young Link couldn't care less who he was falling on.

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LATER THAT DAY:

Master Hand spoke into a megaphone, somehow. "Good afternoon, all Smashers! I bet you're all excited about the bike race! So here we all are, at the starting line!"

Young Link was at the starting line, teetering on his bike. This was it-humiliation, or death. Probably the former. But he couldn't back out now.

"On your mark!"

Young Link's hands gripped the handlebars tightly.

"Get set!"

No turning back now….

"Go!"

The young Hylian peddled as fast as he could. There, he passed Bowser already! Well, Bowser has a big shell, so, that didn't count. There, there goes Ness…behind him. Sweat started to blur his vision. Would he survive? He couldn't tell, all he could feel was the sudden adrenaline rush. A pothole lay in the track, staring Young Link in the face, practically. One training wheel in the hole…and it snapped off. No crash. Young Link kept pedaling for all he was worth. A ditch glared from the side of the track, and eagerly snatched up the other training wheel. The Hylian took no notice. He was whizzing past Mario, then Kirby, Roy, and finally his elder self, who was in utter shock. Just a few more feet…ack! Too much adrenaline, sweat, heat…he couldn't make it, could he?

He heard Master Hand boom, "And the winner is…."

The boy's heart was pounding….

"YOUNG LINK!"

Just like that, everything was clear again. He could see. He had control of himself again. And he had won! He, Young Link, of all people!

"Mini-Me! "

Young Link was beaming. Untill….

"Mini-Me! Where are your _training wheels_?"

"Hunh? "

**Crash!**

**"**Owie…pain…." Young Link was a mess, bleeding in several places. He had a small cut on his forehead, also.

"Mini-Me! Are you okay!" asked an alarmed Link.

"I won…owie…." Young Link grinned back.

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EVEN LATER:

"Ow! Watch it, Doc!" Young Link howled in pain as his cut on his forehead was stitched up.

Dr. Mario scowled. "You're-a lucky, it would-a be a lot-a worse if-a Zelda couldn't heal-a wounds!"

"Grrr…."

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And thus ends another exciting chapter in Link's life. Now review! NOW! Or else, NO SODA FOR YOU!


	3. Backbreaking

Yay! No flames! Ish very happy! sings

_Once more, you open the door,_

_And you're here in my heart, and my heart will go on..._

_You're here._

_There's nothing I fear,_

_And I know that my heart will_

_Go on..._

_We'll stay_

_Forever this way._

_You are safe in my heart, and_

_My heart will go on..._

Ok! Done singing! That's very good song.

I DO NOT OWN SSBM, OR THE SIDEWALK, OR THE POOL! JUST ME!

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Susanne writes: I like it

My response is: Yay! Thankies! You are so nice! huggles But what's with the floating M?

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It was a bee-utiful day at the Smash Mansion, and everyone who had a sense of fun was in the pool. And where was our young (literally) hero?

"Cannonball!" Right there. Young Link did a cannonball (how'd ya guess...) off the diving board, and hit the water. As he surfaced, Zelda taunted his older self.

"Ha! Try and catch me Link!" Zelda backstroked away in a blue bikini. Young Link snickered, went underwater, and surfaced just as his older self caught Zelda. He tackled Link, and grabbed onto his shorts. Zelda giggled, and made her escape.

"Hey! Mini-Me! Watch it! Let go!" Link yelped. "Huh? Ack! Zelda got away! Nooo!" Link shook off his younger self, only to have his hair pulled. "Hey! Leggo!"

"Nope."

"Mini-Me, let go!"

Young Link smirked. "Nope, never letting go!"

Meanwhile, Pichu got out of the pool and started heading for the bathroom. He heard Pikachu call after him in Pokemon-ish,"Be careful, Pichu! Step on a crack, break a random person's back!"

But it was too late...

Step!

**CRACK!**

Young Link froze, and started sinking...he couldn't move, somehow. "Mini-Me! MINI-ME!" That was he heard last before going completely under.

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"Every-a vertebrae in his-a back is-a broken-a!"

Young Link woke up hearing this. No wonder his back hurt. But...every single vertebrae!

Dr. Mario continued," He'll-a need to-a undergo-a some surgery-a." Young Link's eyes were wide open. Surgery! No! He shut his eyes tight, hoping it was just a dream...but dreams don't hurt, do they? ...

He heard his elder self's voice, full of concern. "How'd it happen, Doc?"

Pichu came running out of nowhere. "Pichu pi! Pichu pi!" Translation-"I stepped on a crack! I stepped on a crack! I'm so sorry!"

Dr. Mario and Adult Link stared at the Pokemon. Young Link hurt too much.

Pichu continued,"Pikachu said,' Step on a crack, break a random person's back!' I'm sorry!" In Pokemon language, of course.

Young Link could barely hear...he was so scared, his eyes held shut so tightly... He began drifting off, then, the pain becoming dull...

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LATER, HOWEVER LATER IT IS

Young Link woke up, and sloooowly opened his eyes. The pain was gone. Was it a dream? No. He looked around. He was in Dr. Mario's clinic, heavily bandaged, and there were two people waiting outside: his elder self, and Pichu. It was no dream. But how was it over so fast? He staggered to a sitting position and looked around wide-eyed. The Hylian didn't understand what was going on at all. Then, he spied a third figure waiting outside: Zelda. But, she didn't have magic like that! How in the-?

A figure appeared floating in midair. She was translucent, and wore a white simple dress. Turquoise and purple hair reached down to her knees. She held, in her ghostly hand, a silver quill pen. The figure smiled, and spoke. "I am why you recovered so quickly. My name is Numdenu; I am the authoress of this story. And your tunic's over there." She pointed with her quill, and Young Link saw his tunic neatly folded up on a chair. He turned back around to face the authoress, but saw nothing...

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LATER, AGAIN

Young Link was still baffled by the apparition that was the Authoress. He had told the older Link, and Zelda, and Pichu. He recalled what Zelda said: "This is a never-ending story, so she may have needed you to be okay for the next chapter." The next chapter... The Hylian was feeling great. He couldn't wait...perhaps he'd see the Authoress Apparition again...

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Ha! Bet you never saw me coming! Hahaha! MWUAHAHAHAHAHA! Will Young Link see me again? I wonder...if you want the next chapter, I want you all to review! Ok, ciao!


	4. Dinner Cruise Part 1!

Yay! Next chappie up! Yayayayayay! Ish happy! Ok, time to respond to reviews! Well, actually, one review, but who cares?

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_Hylian Dragoness writes: Yay! Young Link is my favorite character. (I sometimes call him Y.L.) I think you hit the characterization right on the nosie. Woot!_

**My Response is: Characterization has a "nosie"? Oh well, glad you like it! Yay!**

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Ah, another great day at the Smash Mansion. Young Link was in his room, because it was too hot outside, listening to CD's and singing his hat off. Literally, it fell off his head.

"And they say that a hero can save us,

I'm not gonna stand here and wait.

I'll hold on to the wings of the eagles,

Watch as we all fly away..."

There was a knock at the door, and Young Link paused his song. He opened the door with a creak, and looked up at the face of Roy.

"Whaddya want, Roy?

The red-head warrior smirked. "Your older self's taking his princess on a dinner cruise, just thought you might want to know...they're in the lobby."

Young Link gasped, smiled mischievously, and darted past Roy. He ran fast as he could, and slid down the stair railing to the lobby, ducking behind a potted plant as soon as his foot touched the ground. There was not a sound coming from him as his older incarnation strolled past with a giggling Zelda in a pretty red dress. And when the coast was clear, he jumped into the open and scampered to a new hiding place. He almost made it, too...

"Hey! Mini-Me! You DO know what Zel and I are doing tonight, riiight?" Young Link froze mid run. "Uhhh...a dinner cruise?" Adult Link groaned. "How'd ya know?"

Young Link grinned. "Roy told me."

"Roy? Where is he? I need to pound him." Marth stepped into the lobby. Young Link pointed upstairs. And Marth was gone in a flash.

"Anyway, we can't find a baby-sitter for you, Mini-Me, so-"

"Whaat!" Young Link blurted. "Baby-sitter! I don't need one!"

Link continued,"...so we're going to have to bring you along, sorry."

Young Link gasped. He wasn't going to be hauled along so easily. Right now he really couldn't do much, except...

"Mini-Me!" Link looked over as his younger self feigned death.

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"Mini-Me, stop faking." Young Link peeked out one eye, and sighed. It hadn't worked.

"Get changed. We're leaving soon." Link was in a tux, and Zelda was beside him, in a dark blue sparkly dress. Young Link staggered up and went to his room. He came back down in a suit like Link's.

"Alright, I've changed. Let's leave before I barf."

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ON THE CRUISE

The food wasn't that bad. There was live music, too. But other than that, it was pretty boring. Young Link stood at the bow of the cruise ship, watching the waves being parted and falling into the wake of the boat. Then, there was a mysterious muffled noise coming from the wheel room...a sound that only Hylian ears could pick up... Young Link dashed up, and slid open the door cautiously. He didn't know why he was doing it, it must be instinct. He was the Hero of Time, or at least the younger version. What he saw would shock him forever... It was not how the captain was tied up, but who did it... It was a guy dressed like a giant piece of fruitcake, wielding a plastic butter knife.

Fruitcake Man took notice of the Hylian, and the door slammed shut behind our hero. Young Link was trapped! The man charged, swinging his plastic utensil wildly. The attack was easily evaded, but just as Young Link reached for his sword, he realized it wasn't there! He forgot it at the mansion! Bad day. Very bad day.

Fruitcake Man chased Young Link around that tiny room, each strike missing by a hair. Untill, finally, the man grabbed Young Link successfully! The fruitcake cackled menacingly. "You can't stop me, kid. Soon, I will have my revenge!"

Young Link was baffled. "Revenge?"

The man sighed. "You see, boy, this is no costume. It's an experiment gone horribly wrong. But soon, I shall have my revenge on the world for hating me so! The desert tonight is fruitcake, and whoever eats it will become like me! Mwuahahahahaha!"

Young Link gasped in horror, remembering that his older self and Zelda were on board. Eating supper. They would have desert, no doubt. And they would-no! That couldn't happen! Young Link squirmed around, trying to escape the iron grip of the fruitcake. But it seemed there was no hope, until, Young Link saw his sword across the room. How'd it get there! No matter. Young Link stretched and strained against his captor, stretching out his arm for the sword...

Got it! Young Link stabbed the man, and escaped his grip. He swung his blade, cutting the fruitcake into many tiny pieces. But just when victory seemed at hand...

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"And for our dessert special tonight, we have fruitcake!" the waiter smiled enthusiastically. Link and Zelda both nodded, and the waiter took their menus.

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FRUITCAKE FRENZY! And many questions, too! Will Link and Zelda eat the fruitcake and turn into fruitcake people? What about the battle? How did Young Link's sword get there? Review and find out! G'night, all!


	5. Dinner Cruise Part 2!

Yay! Iam loved! I am very much loved! More reviews! And now, I present to you, the second half of my Dinner Cruise special! But first…I MUST ANSWER REVIEWS!

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_Master Disaster writes, well, several things, which makes me happy. The one I choose to answer is: NO! Numdenu! Why did you make a CLIFFHANGER! NO! I WANT TO READ MORE!_

**My Response is: Guess what? You can read more now! Thanks for reviewing!**

_Joeb writes: i have to review you because you reviewed me..._

_so_

_i like it... you did put yourself in it witch made me cry in horrific agony but thats cause i am a biased freak_

_so_

_YAY! its better than what i had origanally thought it would be (ya know the fangirls compleatly out of whack lovey dovy idea) its funney and has seriousness too..._

_and the idiocyncrissy (what does that mean? i should get a dictionary)_

_(I do not know if all those words are REAL but hey)_

_i owe you a review and you got a review if not a very stupid one... YAY!_

**My Response is: YAY! Thankies soooooo much for reviewing my story! And yes, idiocyncrissy is a word!**

_windgirl5000 writes: I like this story .I like Young Link too. Update soon!_

**My Response is: W00t! My story is liked!**

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"Whaaat!" The Hylian's eyes were wide with shock as he watched the many pieces of fruitcake pull themselves together again! "I…I don't believe it! How could-Ack!" Young Link just barely dodged another blow. He cut up the cake again, but it kept coming back…. Bad day.

All of a sudden, the pangs of hunger shot out, so during the five-second breather between the slicing and the coming together, Young Link couldn't help but try a small piece. "Hey! This stuff is good!" So every time the Fruitcake Man got sliced up, he popped a piece into his mouth. And ate it, too. Before long the once towering Fruitcake Man was now a midget. However, there was one problem…Young Link was too full to eat anymore!

And just when it all seemed for naught….

The door burst open, and standing there was Kirby. The puffball looked around very confused, then saw the fruitcake and inhaled ALL of it. Din knows how he got there, but Young Link was relieved that at last the "menace" was gone.

"Kirby! What're you doing here?"

No answer.

Young Link stood, waiting for a response, when Kirby disappeared into thin air. And then he remembered: He still needed to save his older self! He ran out fast as he could, hoping it wasn't too late….

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The waiter placed a plate of fruitcake down in front of Zelda, and one for Link, too. And just when the two were about to dig in….

"Stop! Don't eat the fruitcake!" Young Link burst into the dining room, sword in hand. An unfortunate diner swallowed a piece of fruitcake, not heeding the warning, and was turned into a fruitcake person. Everyone else gasped in horror and shoved away their fruitcake. Link walked over to his mini-self, Zelda beside him.

"So, errr… Mini-Me, how did you know the fruitcake did that?"

Before Young Link could answer, the cruise ship capsized. And then, with a flash of magic, they were all back at the mansion. Fireworks were going off in the distance, and the three turned to watch them, Link and Zelda hugging, and Young Link standing alone. He had thought he saw a translucent figure far off in the sky….

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Whee! Fireworks for a 1-Day-Late Fourth of July special! Next chapter coming up will have many appearances by Numdenu (me), because MY BIRTHDAY IS COMING UP! YAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY! Ok! Make my birthday wish come true and REVIEW!


	6. Numdenu's Birthday Part 1!

OMIGOSH! I have so many early birthday presents! They're called Reviews, y'know! Just what I wished for! YAY! Now I must answer them all!

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Master Disaster writes: Translucent figure? Is this another one of your cliffhangers? If it is, then--Ah! NO! I'VE BEEN 'POSSESSED BY THE DEVIL'! (Goes around, thrashing his arms about.)

Fox: Um... Sorry 'bout that! Get the next chapter up before he--(Master Disaster crashes into the White House, still screaming) Too late. 0O0 Update... Please?

My Response is: Okay, here's the next chapter. And the "translucent figure" was a semi-cliffhanger. More like a cliffstander. I dunno. Thank you for being loyal and reviewing!

Joeb writes: YAY!

I'm reviewing you again!

YAY!

good job with the update... and happy birthday!

(Whisper) pst i hate seing the author in stories

(Loud) CANT WAIT TO SEE YOU NEXT UPDATE

hahahaha dont hate me i dont hate you... see ya soon!

(Whisper) im fine with you in your story as long as you make it funney...

**My Response is: Well, thank you! Don't worry, if this next chapter isn't funny, it'll be random as heck. I guarantee it!**

windgirl5000 writes: I still like. Please update soon!

**My Response is: Yay! My story is liked! YAY!**

Hylian Dragoness writes: Yay! A bit of randomness here, I think that's always welcome. I hope you have a happy birthday when it comes up. As if to comemorate it, are you going to write about Y.L.'s Birthday? Woot!

My Response is: I'm sorry to disappoint you, but this and the next chapter are about the Phantom Authoress and HER birthday. I dunno when Y.L.'s birthday is gonna be, please review again with a suggestion. If you say soon, you may just save me from idea loss!

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Yet another day at the Smash Mansion. It was like any other day-full of, yup, smashing. Young Link was currently in the middle of a Stamina match versus Falco. Only 25 HP left…bad day? Nope. Young Link preformed his whirling blade attack, then jumped to dodge a shot from Falco's laser. Falco then aimed his laser up, but missed by a hair's width, the bolt zooming less than an inch by Young Link's right ear. Then the Hylian lit a bomb, and spiked it down into Falco's face (sorry, Master Disaster!). The bomb exploded, leaving Falco with a miraculous 1 HP left. A quick slash from behind fixed that.

"And the winner is…Young Link!" Master Hand announced. "Now then…Crazy! Ring the lunch bell!" Crazy Hand proceeded to ring the lunch bell, but only after Master Hand waving a red-hot branding iron in his face (?). But then, the branding iron fell on the giant table in the dining room, and it was burnt in a flash.

All the Smashers stood there awkwardly, waiting for s_omething_ to happen….

And then it did. The sun set. But it was NOON! How could the sun set at NOON! The Smashers stampeded outside, wanting to find out WHY! And THEN they all found OUT it WAS just a SoLAR EcLiPsE!

"Beep Beeeeeeep!" yelled Mr. Game and Watch. He apparently didn't like the RandOM CApitALIZATiON. All the beeping gave our hero a headache, so Young Link clubbed Mr. G&W on the back of the 2-D man's head. And all was well…until THERE WAS A BLACKOUT INSIDE THE MANSION! So everyone went to bed, except Young Link. Why? THEY WANTED TO! So Young Link went down and turned on the TV. Or tried to, he forgot about the BLACKOUT. But by some miracle, it clicked on! Music played out, with credits, and in the background (of the credits) was a weird medieval man on a black horse.

"Black! His boots of finest mole!

Black! His codpiece made of metal!

His horse is blacker than a hole!

His pot is blacker than his kettle!

Black Adder! Black Adder! He-"

Young Link switched off the TV and sighed in disappointment. But then, he heard a scuffling noise from the kitchen, which had miraculously turned into a swimming pool with a diving board half a mile high, and with an elevator to the top. You really think you could climb a ladder half a mile, and then just jump off?

The Hylian whipped his head around, confused as heck. But then, there was a voice from behind him. He spun around to see…Numdenu herself! "Aww, no swim shorts?" she whined. Instantly, the pool vanished, and there appeared a gigantic arcade!

Young Link stood there, mouth agape. Finally, he spoke, saying, "What do you want! Why are you doing this!"

Numdenu chuckled. "Why? I can! Besides, it's my birthday! Yay!" She hugged a box with "Reviews" written on the side (hint hint).

"Boy, you sure are random for a ghost."

"Oh trust me, boy," Numdenu spoke, "The randomness has only just begun!"

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Okay! There ya go! Very random, very short, I'm sorry. But before I continue, I need ONE lucky reviewer to join in the randomness! Interested? Send in, with your review, a description of your material form in the fanfiction world. And Master Disaster, you'll have to describe the outfit colors, because I don't play Star Fox! Okay, bye!


	7. Numdenu's Birthday Part 2!

I know. I've been lazy. I've been a bad girl, and haven't updated in a while. Go ahead. Slap me. I deserve it.

SSBM BELONGS TO NINTENDO. PAC-MAN BELONGS TO SOMEONE ELSE. GREY POUPON BELONGS TO WHOEVER. MISTER DISASTER BELONGS TO (actually, is) MASTER DISASTER.

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_To Master Disaster: I will not post your review, because it's just a description of your outfit that I can contemplate with my small mind. I do have good news for you, however:** YOU ARE OUR WINNER!**_

Hylian Dragoness writes: Yay! Y.L's B-day can wait, randomness is my savior! (It is, it cured my depression) Oh, what will come out here? Something like my Little sis who thinks chickens will take over the world? Or something My older Sis would like like a troupe of penguins. (I have odd siblings, you should hear about my brothers.) I adore this wonderful piece of work! Woot!

**My Response is: Wow, you sure have some random siblings, Dragoness! Now, if you'll excuse me, Microsoft Word is going haywire over my English….**

_Shinestar writes: if u put me in the next chapter make my outfit all gold_

**My Response is: I'm sorry; I don't know what your outfit looks like!  -hugs- Yay! I can use a semicolon correctly! **

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Young Link blinked in confusion as Numdenu proceeded to laugh maniacally. Just when she stopped, the Authoress looked around, and realized that Young Link was GONE!one!11!1 She sat on the floor with her "Reviews" box and started crying.

The Hylian darted through the halls, towards the stairs. But they were gone, too! He gasped, just when….

**Ding-Dong!**

Somebody was at the door….

Numdenu, now done crying, casually floated through the walls, and opened the door. Her eyes lit up as she welcomed him in: A man, wearing a red suit (like suits in Starfox), with gray streaks down the side, a white vest, dark red gloves, and gray boots. Numdenu beamed when she saw this man, and yelped his name with delight. "Mister Disaster! Come in, please! Have some cake!" The world's largest ice cream cake in the universe appeared out of nowhere, and Numdenu cut a slice, put it on a plate, and handed it to Mister Disaster. More guests trailed in, and Numdenu gave them all a slice. She handed one to Young Link, too, who ate it and got addicted.

"Can I have another slice of cake, Num? Please?"

Numdenu chuckled. "Sorry, Kid, you can't." She disappeared into the arcade, and was next seen slathering a Pac-Man game in Grey Poupon (high class spicy mustard).

Young Link sighed, and reached into his pocket, pulling out a Hookshot. An idea formed in his mind….

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Everybody (except Young Link, he was plotting) was dancing on the dance floor that appeared to replace the arcade. The music rang loud and strong, and all the random guests that had appeared out of nowhere were dancing and singing along.

"And they were dancing

And singing

And moving to the music,

And just when

It hit me,

Somebody turned around and shouted,

'Play that funky music

Right on!

Play that funky music riiight!'"

The music ended, and all the people took a break from partying. Numdenu was getting mobbed by people who were rushing for more cake, so she gave in at last, and turned to face the cake-or where it HAD been! All the guests went crazy, trying to find it. And then….

"Hey! Over there! That guy's got it!" One brown-haired guest yelled, who was apparently named Katie. She pointed at Young Link, who was already making a dash for where the stairs used to be. Everybody gave chase, and tried to mob the Hylian, who somehow outran them all while carrying the cake. At last, he skidded to a stop at where the stairs used to stand. The guests snickered, thinking they had him surrounded, and they would get their precious cake….

And then Young Link used his secret weapon.

Holding the cake with one hand (wow, he's really strong for a kid), he drew his Hookshot with the other, and fired it at a ledge on the second floor. Yes, it did still exist. Just not the stairs. Just as all the guests made a grab for him, the Hookshot pulled him up to the second floor. Before anyone could do something, Young Link was on the ledge known as the "second floor", holding up the cake and smiling victoriously. The crowd moaned, and started stacking themselves on top of each other (except Katie and Mister Disaster-Mister Disaster may be insane, but he's smart, and Katie's semi-sane), trying to get up. The Hylian laughed at their attempt to get up, then waltzed off with the cake to his room, and locked him and the cake in.

Young Link sank down onto his bed and heaved a sigh of relief. Oh, to get away from those bozos downstairs…and to get the cake all to himself…good day. Very good day. He was about to dig in, when a familiar figure floated through the wall…the Phantom Authoress REALLY wanted hEr CakE bAck.

"Beeeeeeep!" Mr. Game and Watch woke up and shouted. Then he went back to sleep in his 2-D bed.

Numdenu hissed, "You! You stupid little child! How DARE you steal my ice cream cake ON MY BIRTHDAY! You, after I healed your back? After I gave you your own sword to fight the Fruitcake Man, and made Kirby appear to finish that dude off? YOU STEAL MY CAKE!"

Young Link stared at Numdenu with puppy dog eyes. "Pleeeease Miss Authoress? Can I have some?"

Numdenu was about to speak when…CHIKINS TOOK OVER THE WORLD! Naw, just kidding. THE SOLAR ECLIPSE WAS OVER! The sun came shining through the windows, bright and strong. The stairs re-appeared. The guests vaporized, except Katie and Mister Disaster, who both just ran out into the street screaming bloody murder. The kitchen was just a kitchen. The Pac-Man game covered with Grey Poupon was gone. And the cake…the cake…-cries- IT MELTED! WHY, OH, WHY? WHY DID IT MELT?

"Noooooo!" Young Link cried. "Why did it melt? WHY!" Tears were streaming down his face. He turned to Numdenu, so he could scream at her, but she was gone. Again. And NOW all the lights come back on.

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"Ahh, that was a refreshing nap." Adult Link spoke as he awakened. He saw his mini-self step out of his room (Young Link's room), and solemnly close the door.

"Hey, Mini-Me! How you doing?"

Young Link cried.

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MWUAHAHAHAHAHA! I made Y. Link cry over a stupid cake! FEAR ME! Or review, or both. Pleeeeease? Oh well, I'm sorry this is late, so I hope it's worthwile!


	8. Prankster Part 1! OMG, Prankster!

Okee dokee! Yay! New chappie! Escape from script format! Lolz, it isn't that bad. Ok, now I must answer reviews!

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_halomasterchief writes, well, two things, which makes me very happy. The one I will show you is: Okay... lol. Just kidding. That was probably the most ramdom chapter I have ever read...NICE! Keep up the good work, and I'll keep reviewing! (I will anyway, even if the chapter sucks...which is never going to happen! Right?)_

**My Response is: Why, thank you! I'll keep reviewing your story, too! Yay!**

_joebthegreat writes: ok now that i feel better..._

and that i am the one reviewing not my twin itster...

if you ever did make a charicter out of me... just for fun... would you plese oh please use it to parody an angsty thing... just cause i figure myself a parody of an angst fic... and i wear all black... no chains though cause i am alergic to metal... HAHAHA yea right...

NOW ON TO THE REVIEW!

ok... thats right i signed it this time! cause i dont want you getting suspicious about who i REALLY am...

and... umm... FINALY! I HAD GIVEN UP HOPE YOU WORTHLESS SON OF A -... lets not finish that and pretend we like each other...

PWNAGE!

**My Response is: I'm a girl, for one, second, I would need a more thorough description of what you look like, of course that would be your profile, and third, THANK YOU! –Gives fortune cookie-**

_Master Disaster writes: Thanks, Numdenu... I feel... better about myself, now. Thank you. But I should tell you, if my clone shows up again, listen up: DO NOT GET HIM ANGRY! I REPEAT, DO NOT GET HIM ANGRY! See, when I was first creating him(deep in the corners of my mind)I was watching too much s-CRY-ed, and so he has 3 things that I don't: The Alter Powers, Shell Bullet(A super-arm that can make big hole on the ground. Golden, red at fingers.) Zetsuei(A human like Alter, armed with 2 razor sharp ribbon like stuff, and restrained arms), and Eternity Eight(Eight balls that can become a sword, shield, or a mind control thing that goes into your head!. Don't get him angry, or this power will make a crater the size of a city... at full power... Bye!_

**My Response is: Thanks for the advice, AND for giving out a physical description so I could feature you in my story! W00t! U pwn by the way!**

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About a week had passed since the birthday incident. Everything was back the way it should be-chaotic. And it was about to become more so, as a shadow slipped into the area behind the snack bar, with a vial of…I honestly have no clue. It poured the vial's contents, a couple drops at a time, into all the root beer bottles. When it was empty, it fled into the darkness of the Smash Mansion….

**Rrrrrring! Rrrrrring!**

9:00 AM precisely.

Young Link moaned and rubbed his eyes, flung on a bathrobe, and headed down for breakfast. And Ness was lying on the steps, covered in stage blood. The Hylian shook his head, muttering, "Not very convincing, Ness. You aren't supposed to drown in it."

"Awww…" Ness moaned. He got up and went to wash off. Young Link continued down to the dining room. Everybody else was there, except…

"Hey, Y.L.!" Zelda said. "Seen your older self this morning?"

"No, not yet, Zel." Our story's hero replied.

A crash was herd down the hall, followed by a yelp of surprise that could have come from only one person…Young Link bolted off into the hallway, following the sound that was later distinguished as moaning and grumbling, and another, much quieter yelp from obviously the same person. He turned the corner to see his older self, slipping and struggling to get up…in the middle of a giant puddle? And of melted butter? What the-?

Young Link blinked back surprise. Who would put butter in a hallway? Before he could think more, he took out his Hookshot, and-

"What? Mini-Me, you crazy?" A pause, then Adult Link continued. "Say, that's a good idea." So he took out his own Hookshot, fired, and was soon out of the puddle, standing in front of Young Link.

"Big-Me, what happened?"

"Dunno. I was just walking down the hall, coming back from some early morning training, and then I slipped, and realized it was butter."

"How long you've been there?"

"15 minutes, max."

They both laughed and headed back to the table. Zelda absently moaned, "There's blood on the stairs," upon their return.

"Zel, Ness was lying there coated an inch thick in stage blood." Young Link answered in monotone as he reached for some toast.

"Oh, okay."

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About noon, Samus, Fox, and Roy were chilling at the snack bar, THE only spot to eat, when Young Link walked in with a bag of Rupees. He stared at the menu while Roy stepped up to order a root beer. And just when it was decided that lunch would consist of cheesy fries and a Sprite, Roy started gagging, like he just drank corrosive acid. Everyone else just stood there, until Samus opened up her super-futuristic laptop and tested some of the root beer, to find that it DID contain corrosive acid. So everyone just hauled Roy off while Samus called an ambulance, and they all left Young Link alone in that room, with the guy there who took orders. Young Link ordered, paid the man, and ate in utter silence.

As he walked toward the trash can to throw out his, well, trash, Samus and Fox re-entered, talking about just who could have put acid in Roy's drink. Our hero thought about it, no, not Ganon. Ganon couldn't sneak. It had to be someone small….

"Will Yoshi and Young Link please report to the teleporter pad for the next match in five minutes?" Master Hand's voice blared over the intercom.

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As the camera scrolled down Endless Glacier, Yoshi encased itself in an egg and rolled down the stage, when Young Link did a double jump, and just let Yoshi roll to his doom as the camera moved up again. He respawned on the familiar angelic platform, leaped down, and right when the camera stood still, he picked up…a WARP STAR! Young Link just barely ducked out of the way, then, as the camera slowly moved up again, he jumped up, Yoshi followed. And the Hylian let loose with his mighty Up+B attack, yelling,"Scraaaa!" The green dinosaur went flying off into the distance.

Master Hand yelled into the microphone the one word that was both victory and defeat…"GAME!" The other Smashers applauded Young Link's victory politely. "And next is Jigglypuff and Peach!"

As the two new contenders headed for the platform, Young Link rejoined his older self. The two watched silently as the names of the competitors, and their stage, appeared on the screen.

"S'posed to fight in Termina Great Bay…should be interesting." Adult Link spoke nonchalantly. The two fighters stepped through the portal, and-

They were in Endless Glacier.

After that, Marth and Mr. G&W were supposed to fight in Mushroom Kingdom. And THEY wound up in Endless Glacier. All other fights were in Endless Glacier. Everyone was moaning by the end of it. And then Master Hand noticed that the stage selection had been set to "ALWAYS THE SAME". He announced on the intercom, "We…errr…seem to have technical difficulties, so the portal platform is temporarily off limits." The hand tried to change the setting, but the dial wouldn't budge. And then, the lights flickered, then went out altogether….

Nobody moved. It was quiet, too quiet. Samus opened her laptop and radioed over Fox. She questioned, "Any ideas yet?"

The vulpine smirked. "Anyone who was at the snack bar during the incident with Roy is a suspect, besides you, me, and the manager of the snack bar. And there was only one other there that I can think of…." He turned his head in the direction of…Young Link (Dun Dun Dunnnnnn!).

"Well then," the bounty hunter spoke in a hushed tone, "we'll just have to go and see what the kid knows…"

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Whoo! Interesting, huh? Ok, now the more reviews I get, the more interesting next chapter will be! Okee dokee! Bye-Bye now!


	9. Prankster Part 2! OMG, Cliffhanger!

Whee! Yet another chapter of Young Link's random life! Chocolate is so yum! Ok, review answering time!

Y. Link: Hey, the admins said, "No review answering!"

Crap. Ah well, time to start the chappie then!

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"I didn't do it!" Young Link yelped desperately as Fox tied him to a chair.

Samus replied nonchalantly, "Don't worry, you're just a suspect. Now tell us what you know. Fer instance, what was with that yell from the hall around breakfast time?"

"It was weird! I just turned the corner, and there was a big puddle--and I mean big enough to cover the ENTIRE hallway…it was melted butter! And Big-Me was sliding around in it, trying to get up."

"Looks like the hero's losing it," Fox snickered.

"Fine," Samus groaned, "Get the 'Hero' in here. He's a suspect, too."

Young Link lifted his head. "Can I go now?"

Samus nodded to Fox, who just kicked Young Link out of the hall closet and into the corridor. Without untying the ropes.

"Fox, where's the chair?"

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After cutting the rope with his trusty sword, Young Link ran fast as he could through the halls. And he saw a shadow dart across…so he gave chase. Around and around the Smash Mansion they go, Young Link chasing a mysterious shadow, where will they stop, nobody knows! Whee! This is fun! Icicles! Yay! They were falling, so yay!

A very pissed Numdenu whacked Nana over the head with her "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy" and took back the keyboard.

Young Link darted through the halls, and after much running around in circles, finally cornered the fiend! It was small, dressed like a ninja, and carrying a small vial of…prune juice! Well, it was half empty, so either it drank the juice, or…it used it somewhere!

"Aaaaaaaah!" yelled Mario in the distance. "My-a foot! My-a foot! It's-a stuck to the ground with-a icky sticky prune-a juice!"

The ninja-midget threw a giggle fit hearing this, giving Young Link enough time to grab it by its…tail?

The Hylian pulled off the ninja head wrap thingy to unmask the ninja midget as…Pichu! "What the crap?"

"Pichu pi."

"I'm turning you in!"

"Pi Pichu Pichu chu chu Pichu pi?"

"Well, we could just get Ness or Zelda and-"

"Chu! Chu!"

Young Link trudged down the hallway back to that one closet where Samus and Fox were interrogating their victims.

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"What? Corrosive acid in Roy's root beer? What the crap happened? Is he ok?" asked a VERY confused Adult Link.

"You tell us. Don't play dumb." Samus growled, rawhide whip in hand.

Fox snickered. He loved it when Samus beat people to a bloody pulp, rawhide whip or not. And then there was a knock.

"Fox, get that." Samus hissed as she prepared her whip. "Who is it?"

Fox opened the door and shouted back, "It's just the kid, and Pichu. And our chair!"

"Well then," said the bounty hunter, "get their butts in here. Link, we'll have to take you off the rack now."

Samus proceeded to take the Hero of Time off the rack while Fox grabbed the chair and ushered in Young Link and Pichu.

"Wait, Sam, we already interrogated the kid."

"Then kick him back out," Samus muttered, answering Fox's question.

"Samus, was that Mini-Me?" Link asked very confused-like.

"Shut up, Hero, we ain't done yet." Link was tied to the chair.

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Young Link trudged along through the corridors, seeing a sign for "NEW Busch Gardens at: Pop Star, Tallon IV, Altea, Kakarikio, Ireland!"

"Kakarikio indeed," he muttered. "I'd like to go there. Maybe Ness would like to tag along."

He stared at the poster a little longer. "…If he's not covered in stage blood."

Master Hand's voice boomed over the intercom. "Will all Smashers please report to the Conference Room?"

As our hero entered, there were quite a few seats left, so he sat down and waited. And waited. And waited some more. This was starting to get boring.

Huh? Whatjdkfydvstrjau6kfyudydlctyd!

Iciclies fel from dha ceiling!

Numdenu dispatched her hoard of Minish Commandoes, which chased away Nana once and for all.

Okay, so everyone filed in and took a seat. Then Master Hand spoke. "I suppose you all know that there's a prankster running around…where's Mario?"

Mario's screams of melting in prune juice could be heard far off, as if right on cue.

"Okaaaayyyy…" Master Hand spoke again. "Right. Will the two main suspects step forward?"

"Only two?" Whined Captain Falcon. He was hit on the head with an anvil.

Master Hand continued, "Pichu and Young Link, please."

Dun Dun Dunnnnn…

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That's all I can write, sorry, my mom's going berserk. See ya around!


	10. Prankster Part 3! OMG, Whodunnit!

"Oh dear, oh dear, whatever will happen today?"

**Crash!**

"Okaaaayyyy…Young Link, are you okay in there?" the Authoress inquired as she rapped on the door of the young hero's dressing room.

"NO," came the answer.

The Authoress glared at the door. "Why not?"

"It's horrible!"

"What is?"

"Something happened! I've been…."

"What? What happened?"

"I'm…I'm…CEL-SHADED!"

"YL, this isn't Windwaker. Get out here NOW so the chapter can start!"

"You come in."

"Fine." Numdenu sighed as she opened the door. And Young Link was sitting there, completely normal, laughing his butt off.

"Ha-ha! Psyche!" the Hylian cackled.

"Dammit, YL, let's just start the chapter!"

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"Right then," Master Hand began. "Pichu, our interrogators said they found a half-empty vial of prune juice on you, and as we heard in the last chapter, Mario is stuck to the floor with prune juice."

"Alright, alright, so I did THAT, but for the other stuff, I was FRAMED!" Pichu replied in the tongue of the Pokemon.

"The butter?"

"Anyone!"

"How about the corrosive acid?"

"That could've been anyone small enough to get in!" Pichu paused for a second, then pointed an accusing paw at Young Link. "Like him!"

"Pichu, I was asleep!" Young Link shouted back.

"You slept in!"

"I had the crap beaten out of me yesterday!"

"ENOUGH!" roared the hand. "What about the 'Same Stage' dilemma? Only someone stealthy-"

"Like him!" Pichu accused again.

"The power outage? Only a small electric rodent could have done that."

"Th-that was Pikachu!" Pichu stammered.

"Pikachu is a klutz."

"Okay, fine, I did that too! Just not the rest!"

"The dial was jammed."

"Jeez, why would I cut the green wire that's second to the left with a pair of kitchen scissors and then send a jolt through it with my thundershock to totally screw up the wiring?" Everybody eyed Pichu suspiciously.

"Pichu!" Master Hand boomed.

"Okay, okay, fine, I DID THAT TOO! But, seriously, why would I put sulpheuric acid in every single root beer bottle?" Everybody stared at Pichu. "What?"

"Pichu, you know what KIND of corrosive acid it is! So you probably did that, too."

"Okay, FINE!" the rodent squeaked. "I did it! I did it all! ...Except for the butter in the hallway!"

Master Hand looked towards Young Link. (?)

"Hey, I helped him get out of there!" the young Hylian defended.

Adult Link stood up. "It's true."

"Very well then…" Master Hand continued. "Did you see who put down the butter?"

"Yellow and black streak. That's all I saw." Link answered. Everybody looked at Pichu.

"It wasn't me!" the Pokemon squeaked. And after a moment of silence…. "Fine. Yes it was."

"Pichu, two-week suspension. Everybody else, dismissed."

Just outside the conference room, Crazy Hand floated drunkenly through the halls. "Whee! Busch Gardens in Pop Star!" it squealed before collapsing in a heap.

"Ahem! Smashers, one more question!" Master Hand yelled. "There was stage blood on the stairs this morning, so-"

"Ehehehehehe…" Ness said sheepishly. "That was me…."

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"Okay, that's all, folks!" announced Numdenu.

"Hey, Num?" Young Link asked, "why are we still in story format?"

"Because I want it to be so." She answered. "Now then, review, my loyal fans! Review! And fear the script format, YL!"

Young Link: Huh?


	11. Curse of DarKastle,Busch Gardens!

I am so sorry. I have not answered reviews. So now I will! Ha! Take that, Admins!

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_Addicted to Addiction writes: Hey, this si some really cool stuff! You are a really kick ass writer. And thanks for reviewing my Three Swordsman adventures! You're a really nice person...finally after two months another episode will be up. Link turns into a rapper!_

**My Response is: You think I kick $$? Thankies! But…you reviewed Chapter 1…**

_Uber Spoonz writes, actually, one review for each chapter, so he or she gets CHOCOLATE! Anyways, her most recent review is: Okay, I want to say... THIS! No, wait... THIS! Yes, this one. Ahem: "I LOVE YOU!" That is all. -walks away-_

-comes back with Sprite- Here, have a soda. -tosses Sprite- YOU UPDATED THE SAME DAY I FINISHED READING IT! Whoo! But... -tilts head to side- ...you didn't answer my question. So I take it as a no. Okay, I'll attribute the personality to a canon (that the right word?) character and write my own fanfiction as soon as I finish the one I'm working on and get another chapter up on the one you reviewed. Any ideas for the next commercial? I was thinking Geico. -nod- W00t for quick updates! VERY QUICK! Do it again!

**My Response is: Geico or Taco Bell! Or maybe some weird non-existent product! Lolz, my mom snuck in while I was reading your review and said you were sick. Eh, mothers.**

_Master Disaster, the most loyal reviewer of them all, writes: Hey, did you get a petition from the others? IF so, then... I don't know. DO something. I haven't been here for a while._

**My Response is: I dunno where that petition is, but I don't care anymore! –hugs- Thank you!**

_joebthegreat writes: huh?_

well it looks like everyone is now updating... GOOD!... cause yesterday noone did... WAA!

good story... but still respond to reviewers!

or dont... i still will... my last update was done a while ago and i didnt cause i was lazy... YAY!... WOOT... PWNAGE... SCOOT... ITS A HOOT... whatever...

**My Response is: PWNAGE to you too! I'm answering reviews! See? Glad people update for you!**

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'Jump! Duck! A Button! Double Jump!'

Young Link ran to the side of the stage as Kraid appeared in the background and turned the little chunk of rock that he was fighting Luigi on.

'Wait for it…timing is everything…' He thought as he began charging up a Smash Attack. Luigi was dead meat.

'And…YES!'

Luigi went flying off and hit the camera on his way down.

"GAME! Young Link is the winner!" Master Hand boomed. The Smashers clapped politely as Young Link showed off his taunt…which was slugging Lon Lon.

"So, YL, you DO know that a Busch Gardens opened up in Kakarikio…" Zelda said.

"Yea, I know," replied our hero. "I was thinking maybe Ness-"

Ness appeared out of nowhere.

"Oh, uh, hey Ness. Wanna go to that new Busch Gardens in Kakarikio with me?"

Ness grinned. "Sure YL!"

And so the two friends set off for Kakarikio.

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A random crowd of people were on the newest ride, titled "The Curse of DarKastle". It was a 3-D haunted house simulation thing. And it rocked. But just as they reached the drop….

"We are sorry, but there are some technical difficulties that need to be worked out before anyone else can ride." said a voice over the intercom. Ness and Young Link groaned. They had been in line for TWO HOURS and now technical difficulties. It took another half an hour before the intercom finally said they would let people board again. So our hero and his friend were next.

And so they were carried off into the dark by a sleigh, weapons at ready for security, and 3-D glasses on.

There was a ghost of a German queen at the first stop. "Please, you must turn back before my son Ludwig knows you're here!" she begged. The ride carried them onward through castle gates.

"Hahaha!" cackled the ghostly image of Ludwig in the next scene. "I'm sorry, but you won't escape alive." 3-D arrows flew out, and Young Link raised his shield by instinct….

The arrows stuck in his shield.

"YL? I don't have a good feeling about this…" Ness whimpered. Young Link gawked at the arrow, completely awestruck. And Ludwig looked angry.

The sleigh carried them through many horrors, before the voice on the intercom was heard. "Please do not panic and remain seated. We will turn the ride around." It faded off and was too distant to hear, even with Hylian ears.

"Ness? I think your feeling was right…this is getting a little too realistic…"

They watched as the sleigh stopped at a scene where Ludwig went completely Twilight Princess, AKA turned into a werewolf.

And then there was the dreaded drop.

Blood-curdling screams rang as they fell down…and down…and down…it seemed like it would never stop…and then they landed. Ludwig landed in front of them, cackling wickedly, as he shot some kind of dark matter at Ness. The psychic brought up a barrier to protect himself, and luckily, it worked. The sleigh went onward, Ludwig snarling in hot pursuit. Then the queen came back, and slapped her son, and a slap-fest stared as the sleigh carried them onwards. They could hear the intercom again…"Please leave and do not board. This ride is too dangerous at the current moment. Whoever is currently on the ride, DO NOT get out. I repeat, DO NOT get out until your sleigh has docked at the point where you boarded at." So close….

And then the sleigh went hyper speed, zooming forward past the abyss that had now taken the place of the castle, until finally passing a familiar landmark, except the other way that they had come. So close. Oh, so close. The castle gates were ahead, they were going through….

"NO!" howled Ludwig. "YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE!" He fired more energy at the cart. Ness shielded everybody…but himself. How selfless. And he can only concentrate of three people. Unfortunately, the bolt went for him. Dun Dun Dunnnnn…

Then, in a heroic act of courage overcoming common sense, our hero Young Link jumped in the way. He was shielded, though, so the bolts ricocheted off his shield and those of the others, and straight into Ludwig's chest. He howled from behind once more, "YOU WILL NOT ESCAPE!"

Young Link called over his shoulder as the gates were about to close, "WE JUST DID!" Then the gates shut, and they were back at the loading and unloading area. Oh, sweet daylight, so close!

As their sleigh pulled up into the dock area, all the staff gaped at the fact they survived, not to mention the arrows stuck in Young Link's Kokiri Shield.

"You made it?" one astonished woman asked.

Ness shakily replied, "Just barely. I almost died in there!"

"S-s-sun…light…" was all the Hylian could mutter.

"Well," the woman smiled lightly, "that way out." Everybody there was out there faster than Sheik in a bunny hood.

"SUNLIGHT!" both Smashers cried in unison, lifting their hands to the sky.

"Hey, YL? I'm hungry…" Ness said after a good half hour of thanking God for sunlight. Well, Ness thanked God, and Young Link thanked Nayru, Din, and Farore.

A random chili dog cart rolled by, and the two ran after it like hungry wolves. Pardon the reference to the ride.

'Now wait until Big-Me hears about my adventure!'

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Ah, don't you just looooove the thrill of horror?

Y. Link: No. If I was two years younger, I would've wet my pants!

How you so sure you didn't?

Y. Link: If it doesn't say I did in the above chapter, then I didn't. And what was with that guy going all Twilight Princess?

Dunno. Review.

Y. Link: FOR MY SAKE!

Yah. For the main character's sake.


	12. Where there is light

Okay, this chapter is gonna be really random here…because I'm running out of ideas.

YL: NOOOOOOO!

Yeah, I'm running out. So I'll pretty much type whatever and go with the flow. So if nothing makes sense, don't kill me.

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_Uber Spoonz writes: GO YOUNG LINK! WHEE! Sheik in a bunny hood... frightening mental image. OH GAWD, HE'S HOPPING AROUND! And now he has a basket full of eggs... Dude, what is wrong with Sheik? Or maybe something's wrong with my head...  
This may seems odd and a little wrong to you: I've never been to Busch Gardens. Yah, shame, shame on me, right? Haven't left my house for the past month, so all I do is sit in here and read fanfiction. Some of it sucks. Stuff like this... ROCKS!  
I was gonna do Geico, but Taco Bell is even better!  
King Dodongo: Yo quiero Taco Bell.  
XD That will be good. Gotta update that sometime soon. Get more reviews on that than I do for the real stories. I might update that today, since I don't have Chapter 15 read for "Face Your Demons". Well, my mother's kicking me off the computer so I'll see YOU next update!_

**My Response is: I think something's wrong with THIS WHOLE STINKING WORLD, if you want my opinion.**

_Master Disaster writes: I have these to say:_

1) Lol! Y. Link was about to lose it. Heehee...

2) Maybe you should put YL into a troubling situation, then through a twist of fate, my Clone, who has another alias as Kazuma the Shell Bullet, saves him, and pounds the crap out of the bad guy. I dunno. You think about it.

3) Thank you; You show much courage for answering the reviews. You have shown alot of bravery for the Petitioners. Thank you. If and when you pass on, there will be a large Memorial in your honor. The name Numdenu will be a sacred name and will never ne used by anyone but your children and your descendants. God Bless you, Numdenu.

**My Response is: My name will be sacred? WAHOO! But, really, I wouldn't if I didn't have such loyal and nice reviewers!**

_joebthegreat writes: okay whatever then..._

and howcome i always hate myself when i look at my reviews redone by you? ARE YOU SOME KIND OF SORCEROR!

oh boy i want a chile dog or whatever...

and now i have a request to make:

GIVE BOWSER A FRILLY DRESS AND MAKE HIM INTO A BARBIE!

**My Response is: Okee! –tosses chili dog-**

_razzkat writes: WAHOO!_

I meant to review this story a long time ago, but I forgots. o Stoopid me! Anyway, it's very nifty, espeically the part about the Fruitcake man. And this chapter was especially funny . Good work!

**My Response is: Thank you; I feel honored to be reviewed by THE razzkat.**

_halomasterchief writes: I have been too busy to review, to my dismay, but I've finally found time! Well, all the chapters since the one I've reviewed have been excellent, and I especially liked this one. I can tell you hate Captain Falcon by the way you treated him during the conference. I agree, his voice is VERY annoying in SSBM, but he's pretty cool in F-Zero: GX, so I just don't see why everyone picks on him. Well, that's about all I gotta say, well except that..._

I hate the Flood! I'm sick of saving Earth and listening to Cortana'sing bickering! halomasterchief is a cheap inpersenator of me, and he's a crappy writer!

(halomc wrestles the keyboard from Master Chief and sticks a plasma grenade on him)

Sorry about that, Master Chief took the keyboard from me. God, he can't even spell "impersonator" right!

(Watches MC get blown up by plasma grenade, sending him through the roof towards Uranus)

Anyway, fantastic job!

**My Response is: Bicker bicker bicker…yup, that's Cortana.**

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"Heeheehee!" cackled the Authoress. "Foreshadowing, Ahoy!"

Adult Link was in the arena practicing solo again, when he heard a voice behind him…."Link…I'm back…" The Hero of Time spun around to see…DARK LINK!

"What are you doing here?" asked Link.

"I'm here to destroy you. Oh, and we'll have a spectator, if you don't mind…" Another figure stepped forward, another dark mirror image, but this one was of…YOUNG LINK!

"Sooo then…shall I tear you limb from limb?" asked Dark Link, hereby known as DL.

A bloody battle ensued, as Dark Young Link slipped quietly away into the shadows….

The Authoress sat in a director's chair munching on popcorn. "Hmmm…wonder how many times I used the word Link in that paragraph's worth?"

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Young Link was wandering around trying to find something productive to do, when he heard a cough from behind him. He stuck his sword into the shadows and poked them cautiously until he heard an "Ow!". He then grabbed whoever was hiding there, and saw it was Dark YL.

"What…the…crap…" was all our hero could say. "Are you trying to assassinate me?"

Dark YL began to plead. "No! I wasn't, honest! Please! I was trying to find the snack bar!"

"How can I be sure?"

"Do I have my sword?"

"No, but-"

"How can I kill you without a sword?"

Young Link thought about this, and ended up just shrugging. "Okay, follow me."

"Right, uhhh…Light Me?"

"That makes no sense. We need nicknames for each other."

"I'll just call you Link, if you don't mind."

"Hmmm…can I call you Shadow?"

Dark YL smiled. "Sure! Shadow works!"

"Ok then Shadow, follow me!" Young Link led Shadow to the snack bar.

Everybody was staring at the two Links. Falco's sandwich fell out of his hands, Luigi dropped his Pepsi, Captain Falcon was crushed by the piano he was using as a weight, Mewtwo lost his concentration, and Marth seemed frozen in time. Shadow walked up to the counter and asked if there were any funnel cakes, and the man just handed one to him and taking the Rupees. Young Link beamed when he saw Shadow with the funnel cake. "I didn't know they had those!"

"Yeah, but the people here are strange…they're all staring at us…"

"They're just not used to you. Don't worry about it," Young Link comforted as Bowser walked by in a frilly pink dress.

Shadow ran after Bowser and poked him, only to get barbequed by the Koopa's fire.

And then, Shadow's eyes began to glint red as he closed his fists, and in mere seconds had knocked out Bowser with a powerful uppercut. Young Link watched in utter astonishment as Shadow then hurled the Koopa King out the window. Then he turned to Young Link….

…and the red glint faded.

Young Link stood there gaping until Shadow pushed his jaw back up. "Let's keep moving."

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And guess what? There's gonna be a second part to this! YOUR REQUEST WILL BE GRANTED, MASTER DISASTER!

YL: Yay! Another chapter!

Shadow: Koolio!

Review!


	13. There is also shadow

Uhhh…inset header here?

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_razzkat writes: 1...2...3...59...42...188327847...7! I count seven times you used 'Link'! Yay! And since I managed to count all the way to seven, you must update soon! _

_**My Response is: Actually, if you counted the sentence that asks the question, you would've seen that I use Link EIGHT times:P**_

_Uber Spoonz writes: Master Disaster watches too much s-CRY-ed. But it's my favorite show, too! -huggles Kazuma- So... you don't receive unless you ask, right? Well, you don't know me... I don't see the harm in asking... Even if you yell and threaten and flame, you can do me no harm except mental... Okay! -clears throat, takes deep breath- I know you may not be accepting new character... things, but I'm just gonna throw this out there!  
You've read my fanfiction, "The Legend of Advertisement!". Why not... throw Ed in there? She's a short brunette who wears the Bremen Mask for some reason... She ADORES Little Link (otherwise known as Young Link, duh) and is incredibly mean to Older Link and Zelda. And she's a little nutso, if you get the hint. And she insists that she's god... Ed might be good for a very random chapter, but she's incredibly clingy to Little Link.  
But it's only a suggestion... Not even that! It's more like a plea... XP But I love the story and I cannot WAIT to see hot-tempered Kazuma next chapter! MWEE! HURRY! Hurry, hurry, HURRY!_

_**My Response is: Woah! Keep your mask on!**_

_Master Disaster writes: Holy Bleep, are you serious! Thank you; I would kill just to read more. And I would--Well, I'll wait! ;)_

_**My Response is: Mmmm…just don't kill me.**_

_RoyalFanatic writes: Ha ha! Poor Bowser...oh well.  
Is Shadow YL good? Or is this all just a trick?  
Mewtwo lost his concentration? GASP! Freaky!  
Update soon! This is funny! _

**_My Response is: Yes, Shadow is a good guy. And thank you!_**

_Quarma The Panther writes: If it weren't offensive to Christianity, I'd say you're the host of Gd's soul! Please show me the light that leads to the land over the clouds. Oh, and DO WHAT JOEBTHEGREAT SAYS! Make Bowser a Barbie!_

_**My Response is: Hey! I ain't a supernatural deity!**_

_Shadow Link50 writes: Yay! Keep updating, story good! Me like Dark Link fics!_

_**My Response is: I kinda guessed that….**_

_joebthegreat writes: god bless numde... i forgot... ok screw it then... she was ok i guess... oh whatever then_

OH BOY! so i heard numde... blah is passing on and all that... im only going to the funeral for the refreshments though...

hmm... nice chappy even thought its short... and you put my moronic idea in there which gives you 20 gold stars... but also 20 moron points... YOU BE THE JUDGE OF HOW HAPPY I AM!...

oh wait... im not happy... WAA!

and i dont think she is passing on... i dont think anyone has the guts or the low IQ possible for reporting/deleting such a great story...

and thanks for the chile dog... i guess... although i didnt appreciate the fact that it was moldy

_**My Response is: Would you like extra mold with that, or maybe some fried Pichu?**_

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Young Link was about to walk into the arena when Shadow stopped him. "You can't go in, Link!"

"Why not?"

"Your older self's dark self is in there!"

"Dark Link?"

"Yes!"

Young Link drew his sword and marched into the arena while Shadow was dragged in trying to keep him back.

And in the arena lay Link on the floor in a bloody heap, and Dark Link wiping off his freshly stained sword.

Young Link was filled with anger and shock as he glared at DL. He rushed forward with his sword only to be flicked aside.

"You really think you can beat me?" DL asked. He raised his sword and was about to strike when Shadow jumped in front of Young Link!

"What!" DL blinked in astonishment.

"Sorry, he's my friend." Shadow retorted.

"You aren't supposed to have any friends!"

"Says who?"

"That's him! Who I just KO'd! And you're me! You're messing with the wrong people-"

Shadow's eyes were almost glowing red now…. Young Link backed up a ways, and DL raised his sword threateningly.

Shadow performed a low kick to DL's legs, who in turn attempted to grapple onto Shadow and succeeded, kneeing him several times before Shadow punched DL's stomach. The two proceeded to rain death upon each other as our story's hero watched helplessly. And just then….

"Get down!" Mister Disaster came out of nowhere, sporting a red and gold super arm. "SHELL BULLET!" He screamed as he brought it down behind DL, making a crater that he (DL) fell into.

Of course, DL just climbed out and dusted himself off. Mister Disaster swore under his breath.

A short brunette wearing the Bremen Mask marched in and said, "Shadows can't exist without sun or light or sunlight and why haven't you called Geico?"

Numdenu then floated in. "Woah, Ed, just go update your advertisement story…please." She began to drag the mask-wearing brunette away when Ed, as the girl was apparently named, fixed her eyes on Young Link and squealed, "KAWAII!" with delight. Numdenu wrestled her down. "Mister Disaster, never mind Dark Link, get the tranquilizer!" the Authoress screeched as Ed shouted remarks about how "kawaii" Young Link was. Mister Disaster shot ten tranquilizer darts, three of them accidentally hitting Numdenu. So much for being a "Phantom" Authoress.

"Mister Disaster! Turn off the lights!" Shadow yelled before dodging one of DL's attacks. Mister Disaster paused, then shot thirty tranquilizer darts, one at each light bulb. And all was dark.

"Mister Disaster? What the CRAP just…what did you do? "Young Link asked.

"I turned off the lights. So now Dark Link is gone."

"But then…" Young Link started to cry as a fourteen-year-old with pink and teal hair dressed in black walked in and turned on the lights using a clever contraption known as a "light switch".

"SHADOW!" Young Link wailed, as neither Shadow nor DL was there.

About this time, Numdenu woke up and stuffed Ed into a kennel.

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AUTHOR-FEST!

Sorry, I was kinda stuck. Oh well. Thank you to: Master Disaster, Joebthegreat, and Uber Spoonz! Oh, and to Mother Nature for making shadows disappear when you turn out the lights, and Jane Yolen for inspiring my interest in shadow people! G'nite all, and review!

YL: My…only…friend….


	14. NOW who's in charge?

W0o0o0o0o0o0o0o0ot! Thanks for reviewing guys! Ok, and now I will answer reviews!

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Uber Spoonz writes: Me: ...  
Little Link: You just provoked the wrath of a demented girl.  
Me: Wrath? What wrath? I was laughing to hard to do anything wrath-ful.  
Little Link: .. You're in a kennel.  
Me: And you have the key! RELEASE ME, LITTLE LINK!  
Little Link: ...what will you give me?  
Me: A fish!  
Little Link: Fish?  
Me: Fish!  
Little Link: I'll... get back to you on that...  
Me: I was mentioned! I was mentioned! -dances-  
Little Link: You were also hinted at.  
Me: Was I?  
Little Link: Look here. -randomly pulls up text- "Woah, Ed, just go update your advertisement story…please."  
Me: Oh...  
Little Link: Hup to it.  
Me: Yeah, I gotta write it first.  
Little Link: Better hurry.  
Me: I will! Okay, Numdenu, update soon! Just for the appearance of Ed, you get a lifetime supply of chapter features in "The Legend of Advertisement!"! If you have a specific character thingy, tell me sometime! Otherwise you will continue to be Numdenu!  
Little Link: Yah, shut up and write.  
Me: TT Pushy. Well, I suppose I should listen to the midget!  
Little Link: Look who's talking...  
Me: SILENCE!

**My Response is: …Hint hint…hint?**

Razzkat writes: Oh, oops...guess I can't count. ;; Short chappie, but good.

**My Response is: Thank you!**

joebthegreat writes: oh dear...

I LOVE FRIED PICHU!... and i have a strange suspision that fried Pichu is what the chinese put in thier oarnge chicken that i eat all the time when im at a chinese resturaunt... PICHU IS YUMMY!

but either way i have a question... WHY DID YOU MAKE ME NOTHING MORE THAN A LIGHT TURNER ON...ER... WAH!... actually i dont care anymore... actually as long as its funny... and this was funny... so gj everyone!

**My Response is: Yup, and maybe some cream puffs? Like these really big ones right…oops. That's Jigglypuff and my obese cat that craps on the rug.**

Master Disaster writes: And I would like to thank you. Words cannot express my gratitude.(Start's talking like Kazuma) Hey, yeah, thanks for that. I guess I owe ya one! I'll try to get off my ass and get to work on the next damn chapter and update because some son of a bitch screwed up my computer and I have to re-write everything.(Start's talking normally again) Holy crap, did I just say that? Hey, another side effect that exists in ze clone is da fact that like Kazuma, he says at least 1 profanity every sentence. However, you can screw that part.

And don't worry; I have these reasons as to why I wouldn't kill you:

1)I have no clue where you live.  
2)I can never bring myself to harm another human. I always say things like 'I'll brutally slaughter you like crap', but I can't even point scissors at people, 'cause my damn good side won't let me.  
3)You're not even worth hurting. I'd need 5 good reasons as to why I would touch a hair on your head.

**My Response is: I'm annoying, I'm annoying, I'm annoying, I'm annoying, and I'm annoying. And now you'll want to kill me I guess.**

RoyalFanatic writes: No! Poor Y. Link...and Shadow...  
Bowser: We shall have a moment of silence.  
moment of silence  
Anyway, update soon!

**My Response is: -joins moment of silence with school band-**

halomasterchief writes: Okay, this is just ridiculous! I need to donate more time to Fan Fiction. Well, anyway, I thought this chapter was pretty interesting, and as random as always. I just have one question: What happened to regular adult Link? You didn't clarify what happened to him. Did he die? ...argh, too much thinking! Guess I'll just find out next chapter. Oh, and expect my next chapter up at LEAST by Friday. I've jsut had SO MUCH HOMEWORK, I haven't had time to update. Okay, keep up the good work!

**My Response is: No, Adult Link is alive and well. You need not worry.**

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Numdenu: Okay, where's our star?

Here.

Numdenu: Waaaait a minute…what are YOU doing at the keyboard?

Oh, just getting some sweet revenge on you for destroying my best friend ever….

Numdenu: What? No, wait, PLEASE! DON'T DO IT! NOOOOOOOOO!

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Numdenu was sitting on the sidewalk when a vat of blue slime fell on her head.

"What?" roared the outraged Authoress. "Blue slime?"

Errr… a flock of pigs flew overhead. And their droppings fell all over Num's good dress.

"No fair!"

…Which she was previously flirting with.

"WHAT! Young Link, when I get the keyboard back, I'LL MAKE YOU PAY!"

A Rupee fell from the sky, followed by Kirby in his brick form.

"Ow! My head!" yelped Numdenu, rubbing said head.

Hey! Said head rhymes! Kewl!

"Young Link, I am really going to kill you, you know."

You can't do that, or else Big Me will die. And I know you like him…

The Phantom Authoress turned a bright shade of crimson. "I-I-I…I do not!"

Oh, then why are you staggering?

"I-I'm not s-s-stagger-ing!"

The leet demon cursed Numdenu and made her talk in leet for the rest of the chapter.

"! w!11 k!11 y0u Y0ung 1!nk."

Alas, her quill pen snapped in two.

"My…my…qu!11 !$ ru!n34."

Yup. Your quill is ruined.

"I WILL KILL YOU!" Numdenu shouted as she pulled out a spare quill pen, which turned into a silver feather rod. "NO ONE RUINS MY PEN AND LIVES!"

Oh, like I'm gonna-WOAH! NO! DON'T DO IT, I'M WARNING YOU! NOOOOOOOO!

And with that, Young Link was pulled from the keyboard and KO'ed.

"Hey, wait, who are you?" asked a confused Authoress.

I am Windows XP.

"Ohhhh…yeah, can I type now?

Okay, but don't forget to run the Anti-Spyware.

Ktg/fysdlfxtedlctxdkc…TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES…fyudtruduofbtrvsc u etzutbkoxrzu

Whew! Back in the saddle!

"Ow…but I thought you were in a chair…" said Young Link before collapsing.

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Ok, so that's about it here. Just a little trinket of humor. I really wanted a chapter kinda like this, lolz.

1, 2, 3…review! And make it good!


	15. Rangers and Zombies,Oh Dear Me!

Young Link: WHERE THE HECK IS NUMDENU!

Wood Elven Ranger: I dunno.

Y. Link: Who are you?

Ranger: Her replacement for now. Name's Serennah.

Y. Link: Don't you mean Serena?

Serennah: HOW DARE YOU COMPARE MY NAME TO THAT SAILOR MOON DOOFUS!

Y. Link: Riiight…so YOU will answer reviews?

Serennah: No, YOU can do that.

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Spoonz (Really Uber Spoonz) writes: Little Link: -nudges- Hinted.  
Me: ...shut up.  
Little Link: Hinted.  
Me: Shut up!  
Little Link: Hinted!  
Me: SHUT UP, YA SHORT LITTLE WHINY LITTLE BRATTY LITTLE SHORT WHINY BRAT!  
Little Link: -runs away crying-  
Me: TT -looks around-  
Little Link: What are you doing?  
Me: ...I am not moo. Not I, not I, not I!  
Little Link: OO;  
Me: -points at Numdenu- YOU are MOO! -cackles maniacally-  
Little Link: cough  
Me: Wh-what? Too much?  
Little Link: -nods-  
Me: Okay, well... I've been hinted... repeatedly. Guess I oughta write and update... repeatedly.  
Little Link: What are you gonna make me do? You said it'd be something girly...  
Me: That it will. I'm thinking it'll be one of those Barbie clothes commercials, but I just can't see myself writing those horrible, horrible words.  
Little Link: "Wo-ah-oh, wherja get that?" Those words?  
Me: -prolonged scream- NO! Don't say that! ...Yet.  
Little Link: -cowers-  
Me: Brilliant chapter as per usual! I realize that I fail to say stuff like that often enough. I know a British word!  
Little Link: O.o  
Me: What?  
Little Link: Random.  
Me: So? The word is:  
Little Link: Crumpets?  
Me: No! The word is "wanker"!  
Little Link: OO?  
Me: It's basically liking calling someone and stupid doodoo head.  
Little Link: Well, you're a wanker for not updating your story!  
Me: I am no- ... Man, you're right! -cries-  
Little Link:

**Young Link's Response is: …Was that "Little Link" supposed to be me?**

Master Disaster writes: Quote: Numdenu

I'm annoying, I'm annoying, I'm annoying, I'm annoying, and I'm annoying. And now you'll want to kill me I guess.

Nope! 'Cause I still don't know where you are! Own3d! Hey, Young Link is on a wheelchair, but then he gets on fire, and then he GETS OWN3D! XD

**Young Link's Response is: HEY! Look who's answering reviews! I ain't own3d!**

joebthegreat writes: Im refusing to review to show how cool I am

(but he's reviewing right now)

THATS NOT THE IMPORTANT PART!

the important part is that fat people make ripples... and now you know...

**Young Link's Response is: Who's your friend?**

RoyalFanatic writes: Ha ha! Y. Link got you pretty good.  
I look forward to seeing what torture you will put him though to get your revenge.  
Update soon, or else!

**Young Link's Response is: Lemme tell ya, Royal, answering reviews, for me, is torture enough!**

razzkat writes: takes YL's cookies BAD Young Link! It's not nice to take over people's stories!  
YL: Aw man...  
Woo! Really good chapter! XD

**Young Link's Response is: My…my…MY COOKIES! NOEZ!**

Silver Ferret writes: Silver Ferret:Yay! Yayness!I have finally reviewed!Anyway... Make Marth appear more!Me wuv Marthy-boy!  
Marth:Umm...  
Silver Ferret:Yah, and what you called staggering I think is called stuttering...studdering...sumthin'  
Marth:Right...  
Silver Ferret:Get outta here, stupid Altean prince.(shoves Marth offscreen)  
Link:Um...  
Silver Ferret:What're you doin' here?-Get outta here, Num's gonna kill me-  
Link:Sorry(walks offscreen)  
Silver Ferret:I will now go review your Minish Cap fic...Bye!

**Young Link's Response is: O.o Num's real-life BF? And…what the heck was Big Me doing?**

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Young Link: Well there's my agony for the day.

Serennah: Right. Okay. You get in the computer, and I'll type, shoot orcs, and play "My Heart Will Go On" on my lute at the same time.

Y. Link: O.o Riiight…

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

"It's-a me, Mario." Said Mario, as soon as Young Link entered the computer.

Young Link groaned. "I thought you melted in prune juice."

"I-a did not-a! Hahaha-a!"

"…That sounded weird…" Young Link resorted to dot-dot-dot-ing.

"Stop-a!"

"…."

"I-a said-" Mario was knocked out from behind by Marth, who just casually said, "The stadium's being attacked by zombies."

"…."

"Stop dot-dot-dot-ing, or I'll hurt you." Scowled Marth.

"Okay, I'll stop."

A zombie C. Falcon rounded the corner, and Young Link just watched with chat eyes (What I call chat eyes are these: O.o) while Marth used his shieldbreaker to cut it in half…and then the two halves started attacking Marth, until Young Link cut off the heads of both sides, still with the earlier described chat eyes. The head remained still…but the zombie kept attacking until it was at last thoroughly dismembered.

"Whoever thought up the zombie?" Asked at chat eyed Young Link. And I did.

Marth looked in all directions, before saying, "Wait, you're not Numdenu! Who are you?" Well, my name is Serennah, and I'm a level 67 Wood Elf Ranger, and don't you dare mess with me or my Celestial Bow, or I'll send my wolves after you.

"Wait, you're…" Marth gasped." You're an EverQuest character!" Young Link continued to look around with chat eyes.

Bhg vfrzyrz xudbird df …AAAAAAHHHH! Gcdbbftbfouggjkmcgm!

Serennah! Go away; this is a Super Smash Bros. Fanfic!

"Ah, there's Num. I thought you were dead for a sec, before I remembered you're a Phantom Authoress." Remarked Young Link.

"So the Authoress is back…well, bye." Marth turned and walked away, while Young Link started looking around again, WITHOUT THE CHAT EYES! SERENNAH, I'LL GET YOU FOR THOSE! THEY'RE FOR CHAT ROOM USE ONLY!

The Authoress appeared hovering beside Young Link. "I'm terribly sorry…hey! I wanted to answer reviews! No fair!"

"Hey, you can do it from now on! I don't like it!" retorted the young Hylian.

"Ah, good, then I'll spare you from my wrathfulness."

"That works."

"Yeah…soooo…what now?"

Young Link shrugged. "End the chapter, maybe?"

"Yeah, let's do that." Smiled the Authoress.

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Yay! I don't have to waste my precious time torturing Young Link for what he did last chapter! YAYNESS!

Y. Link: And this chapter was finished before 8:00! Num, you kept your promise actually!

I did? I DID! YAYNESS!

R.E.V.I.E.W. or, Read for Entertainment Viewage Informally and Express your opinion in Writing.


	16. Hey Dude

W00t! W00t! I gots me something planned for today! YAY, BEATLES!

NOTE: I found this song parody on Google! Thankies!

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Quarma The Panther writes? I'm confuzzled!

**My Response is: Good.**

Spoonz writes: Me: You know who I am. YOU KNOW WHO I AM. YOU KNOW WHO I... Wait... You know who I am? CRAP! -runs in circles making airplane noise-  
Little Link: Guess what.  
Me: What?  
Little Link: You were asked a question by your muse.  
Me: Don't be silly, Little Link! YOU are my muse!  
Little Link: Well, the other me.  
Me: Older Link?  
Little Link: No, Young Link.  
Young Link: So I'm NOT the same as Little Link?  
Me: Allow me to explain. -clears throat- Young Link is the younger version of Link from the Ninendo Legend of Zelda games, namely Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time.  
Young Link: Duh.  
Little Link: It's best not to interrupt...  
Me: AHEM! As I was saying: And Little Link is from the Legend of Zelda manga, also, namely, Majora's Mask and Ocarina of Time.  
Little Link: But mostly Majora's Mask.  
Me: Right-o.  
Young Link: That clears it up... I think.  
Little Link: Don't you have a report to be researching for, Miss Ed?  
Me: Yes, yes I do... I'm gonna research Shigeru Miyamoto as the inventor of Zelda! It's a science report... ;

**My Response is: Thanks. I was getting confused. Too many Links…**

Master Disaster writes: THEY'RE FOR CHAT ROOM USE ONLY!

Haha! And for Forums! Own3d! Young Link, you got something to say to me? Come say it to my face, midget!

**My Response is: I speak on behalf of Young Link…YOU are own3d!**

RoyalFanatic writes: Yay! Marth was here too!  
Y. Link: Hey, what about me?  
Marth: I'm her number a fav, remember?  
Y. Link: Evil...EVIL!11!  
Update soon, or I'll resurect the zombie Captain Falcon and send him on you.

**My Response is: Eep…attack of the Marth fan-girls….**

Silver Ferret writes: Silver Ferret:Yay!  
Okay, done. Marth was in this chappie, yay! But scoweled is a facial expression, not a way to describe speech. Oh, yah, and is it just me, or did Marth actually GASP!(Gasps)  
Marth:Are you going to write all your reviews in script format, Silver?-and do i have permission to call you silver? or silvie, maybe?-  
Silver Ferret: I'll write all my reviews for THIS story in script format 'cuz it's easier to stick you in there.  
Marth:Oh.  
Silver Ferret:And, yes, YOU and you only, Marth, have permission to call me by both those names. If I can call you Marthy-boy. Sometimes.  
Marth:(groans)Okay.  
Silver Ferret:Thankees! Okay, Num, more, please! Bye!

**My Response is: Uhhh….uhhh…hmmm…ummm…two words about this chappie for you: Roy Sings.**

joebthegreat writes: this is a formal request for some purple orange juice...

if you do not give us the purple orange juice...

then the dot dot dot's will take over your family...

and then we will slap Link...

and then your face will turn blue...

my friend is Maku... and dont you ever forget it...

and soon the kazzjaff will have taken over the world...

**My Response is: Was that supposed to rhyme?**

razzkat writes: OHMYGOD! ZOMBIES! Anyway, good chapter, but really short--ARG! THE ZOMBIES ARE EATING MY BRAIN!  
Zombie (eats ebob's brain): There isn't much in here TO eat...

--  
Please watch the following video. Then send it to your friends. It's The Best Thing Ever. XD!  
h t t p / s p i k e d h u m o r . c o m / A r t i c l e . a s p x ? i d 8 9 2 & a u t o p l a y t r u e  
(Take out the spaces!)

**My Response is: OMIGOSH! Thanks SO much for that link! Hey…Link! I made a funny!**

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Ah, another LOVELY day at the Smash Mansion. Everybody was eating lunch. Yup, lunch. Ain't lunch time just grand?

Anyways, everybody was eating their wonderful lunch of macaroni and cheese (except Luigi, he was allergic to cheese) when…THE LIGHTS WENT OUT! OMG! And then they came back on. The voice of Master Hand blared over the intercom. "Good afternoon, Smashers. There has been a blackout, and so the mansion is running on generator power. The matches will be delayed until tomorrow. Thank you, and enjoy your lunch!"

All the Smashers groaned. What were they to do now?

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

"Greetings. I have had visions of heroes such as yourselves." Said Fox, acting as the Dungeon Master for the Dungeons & Dragons game they were playing. "My name is-"

"OHMYGOSH!" shouted Pikachu, speaking in character. "It's the ghost from the night before! Bob the Barbarian attacks the lady!" The two other players-Samus and Young Link-gave Pikachu exchanged surprised looks. Fox looked over the DM screen. "You sure, Pikachu? She's definitely human."

Pikachu nodded. "I'm sure!" Young Link and Samus again exchanged looks, this time worried ones.

Fox sighed. "All right. Fine. Bob cuts down the-"

"Wait!" Young Link stood up and shouted. Everyone turned their eyes towards him as he spoke. "My paladin jumps in the way!"

Samus smirked. "Well, curse your character's chivalrous ways, Young Link."

Fox raised his eyebrows. "Fine. Pikachu, roll for damage…you sure, YL?"

Young Link nodded. "Like Samus said, curse my character's chivalrous ways. He only has 3 HP left."

Pikachu tossed the dice. "Damage is 5."

Samus shook her head in pity as Fox spoke. "As Bob is about to cut down the defenseless woman, Torv the Paladin with 3 HP jumps in the way, takes 5 damage while intercepting the attack, and, sadly, perishes on Bob's axe. The woman gasps in astonishment."

Samus spoke now. "Draxylthark the Rogue picks up a heavy, blunt object and clubs Bob repeatedly with it." Pikachu winced at the thought of his poor barbarian being clubbed by a mean rogue with something as horrible as a heavy, blunt object.

Fox spoke again. "Are you still playing, YL? You could always come in as your half-elf mage."

"No, sorry." Young Link shook his head and left the table. The other people were groaning bored, except Roy and Adult Link, who seemed to be plotting something. A little while later, the two swordsmen gathered everyone in front of a large piano.

"Ahem…" Roy spoke. "We have revised these lyrics into a parody! And since you're all bored, we decided this would be a good time to do it!" The red-head swordsman warmed up his fingers on the keyboard as Adult Link set up two microphones—one in front of the piano, the other standing alone.

Roy began playing and sang his parody:

"Hey Dude, don't be an (CENSORED)  
We Take old songs and make them better.  
Whatever, the words will be torn apart  
thats where we start, to make it better."

Adult Link stepped up to the other mike and added subtle vocals.

"Hey Dude, get half a brain.  
You only wish, that you'd do better  
i cant wait, for your work to begin  
Email it in, Show us your better.

And anytime you think you can, Hey Dude, explain  
Dont spare any words, before we get older  
So you can show your not a fool, c'mon be cool  
Just show us your work, ok, get bolder"

Now it was Adult Link's turn.

"Hey Dude, don't let us down.  
You criticized us, but can't do better  
Remember we all can take these apart  
but when will you start? can't you do better?

So write it now and send it in, hey Dude, begin,  
We're waiting for your songs so we can rate them.  
And yes we know that it's just you, hey Dude, be cool  
The sooner you start, the sooner its over."

Roy sang again.

"Hey Dude, its not so bad.  
Take an old song and make it better."

And then the two swordsmen joined together in a duet.

"we've just started to get up under your skin,  
You better begin, and I doubt if your  
Better better better better better better, oh.

Da da da da da da, da da da, hey Dude...

Da da da da da da, da da da, hey Dude...

Da da da da da da, da da da, hey Dude..."

The song ended after a couple more "Da da da" 's with some fancy piano stuff by Roy. As soon as it was over, the whole place burst into applause and laughter…until the generators died.

"It's too dark!"

"Somebody get a flashlight!"

"Poyo!"

"Who's foot is in my ear?"

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Later, by flashlight….

"Okay, YL, your fireball caused 16 damage and…woah! You killed the big boss!" Cheers emanated from the other D&D players as Young Link smiled, just plain happy that the infamous Black Crystal Dragon was dead at last.

Fox the DM then spoke, "The dragon heaves one last labored breath, then shudders and is still at last. Okay, you all get 15,000 Experience each for completing this quest, and I'll leave you guys to divide up 500,000 gold. I have a calculator if necessary." Samus opened her laptop and typed in the problem. "500,000 divided amongst 3 people would mean 166666.66666666666666666666666667 gold each." Pikachu stared blankly at her while Young Link tried to work it out.

And then, the lights came back on. All the Smashers shouted jubilantly for the return of their wonderful electricity, and because the Authoress actually knew some advanced vocabulary.

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

W00t! W00t! D&D, baby! W00000000000000000000000000000T!

Y. Link: Awww…curse my character's chivalrous ways!

Ah, well. Review!


	17. Curse of the Ten Four!

I have gotten inspiration from the most UNLIKELY of sources…my SCIENCE TEACHER! OMG!

Y. Link: WHAT!

Ahem! Right, time to answer reviews!

εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз εїз

Mullenium Master writes: HEY NUM, DID YOU READ MY LAST REVIEW?

**My Response is: WHY ARE YOU TALKING IN ALL CAPITALS?**

RoyalFanatic writes: Power to the chivalry!  
Yayness to another chapter!  
Roy and Link...singing...no comment.  
Update!

**My Response is: Regresa a mi…huh? You say something?**

joebthegreat writes: Numdenu said: WAS THAT SUPPOSED TO RHYME?

My response is: Umm... if that was supposed to rhyme... then I would have made sure it... RHYMED!...

AND I CAN BE CHIVALROUS TOO!... JUST WATCH!

jumps in front of a train to stop it from running over a dead squirl... sadly... we both get hit and die... the squirl died for its second time... so its going to hell... WHY?

**My Response is: It's spelled squirrel, goddessesdammitt!**

Silver Ferret writes: Silver Ferret:No! The horror! Roy! Shut up!  
Roy:Am I really that bad...?  
Marth:(thump as he faints from pounding headache)  
Silver Ferret:Roy, you broke the prince. Does that answer your question?  
Roy:Oops. Yay! The ice prince is out! Party! Thanks, Num!(begins dancing)  
Silver Ferret:That's...creepy. Num, what does 'Poyo' mean anyway?  
Marth:Ojama...shimasu...  
Silver Ferret:Ignore the sleeptalking prince that WASN'T IN THIS CHAPTER!(hint, hint)  
Roy:Oama shimasu? Why was he saying 'I will bother you'?  
Silver Ferret:Number one;he was ASLEEP! Number two;ojama shimasu is directly translated as 'I will bother you,' it is more loosely translated as 'sorry to distub you' and Marth, being a prince, was probably thinking along the lines of the more polite one. Ojama shimasu can also be translated as a greeting, since that is what it's become in it's native country of Japan. See, hang out with me and you learn stuff!  
Roy:Too...much...knowledge...(passes out)  
Silver Ferret:I'll go wake up the boys so you can use them in your next chapter.(HINT, HINT!)Bye!

**My Response is: Hmmm…methinks Marth will be too busy running from an undead turtle to bother you.**

razzkat writes: Holy Toledo, it's D&D! I thought nobody played that game anymore...well, you get a pie. Yay. XD

**My Response is: Well DUH people still play D&D!**

Hylian Dragonologist writes: Ack! I'm stuck in Karaoke mode, I'm sorry I missed so much of this. I will surely be punished.

"Its the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine!"

Rarg, I just want you to know you really capture the essence of YL, like I would.

"This is how you reming me of what I really am."

Roer! Maybe there should be a karaoke party (it's pronounced ka-ra-oh-kay) And all kinds of crazay things would go on.

"The hills are alive with the sound of music."

Wah! Just academic curiosity, which is your least fav, smasher?

Anywho you rock! Woot!

"Numa Numa!"

Good god not that!

**My Response is: Were you Hylian Dragoness before?**

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"All right! Macbeth Parody take 57! ACTION!" yelled Peach, sitting back in a director's seat. Falco and Popo were holding plastic lightsabers and glaring at each other. Then Falco said his line.

"Ah, Macbeth!" spoke the bird in a fake Scottish accent. "Ye killed me wife, ye murdered me babies, ye shat in my stew!"

"Ach! I did'nae!" retorted Popo.

"Aye, ye did. I had t' throw half of it away!"

They began a fake lightsaber duel, and finally Falco chased Popo offscreen, where Nana waited, and screamed like a girlie on cue. Then Falco walked back on stage holding a rubber skull.

"Behold the usurper's cursed head! Macbeth, yer arse is out the-hey! There's a turtle on this!" remarked the bird. Peach slapped her forehead. "CUT!"

"Huh?" Falco dropped the turtle, and it died.

"NOOOOOOOO!" shrieked Numdenu. "It's the Curse of the 10/4!" Everybody stared at the authoress as she tried to run into walls, but kept going through them. Then they all screamed in panic as the turtle became a tiny undead abomination! And this turtle then went around biting off everybody's pinky toes.

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"Doubles!" exclaimed Adult Link with delight as he moved his doggie piece forward six spaces. He rolled the dice again. "Doubles!" Four more spaces, one more roll….

The Hero's heart sunk. "Doubles" he said dejectedly, placing his piece in Jail. He passes the dice glumly over to Young Link. In case you hadn't guessed, the two Links were playing a friendly game of Monopoly. That is, until Ness stumbled into the room. Young Link ran over to his friend.

"Links! It's terrible! Something HORRIBLE has happened!" yelled Ness. "An undead turtle is biting off everyone's pinky toes!" A gasp, and Ness pointed at an ominous green and brown blob by the air vent. "And there it is!"

Adult Link laughed at the little thing until it jumped down and bit his ear. "OW!"

Young Link tried to whack it with his boomerang, but the turtle was faster, and he just knocked out his older self. The turtle then climbed inside the Adult Link's boot, and the sounds of gnawing were heard. The young Hylian quickly pulled off the boot and stuck tin foil in it, trapping the turtle, before throwing it out the window.

Ness blinked. "Why didn't I think of that?"

Numdenu floated through screaming, "It's the curse of the 10/4! This day is CURSED I TELL YOU! CURSED!"

Young Link and Ness exchanged worried glances. "Looks like another short chapter." They said in unison.

"Wonder why?" wondered Ness.

"Num said this story was never-ending…" Young Link recalled. "But I'm a little jealous. I mean, the Minish Cap parody isn't nearly as popular as this story, yet it already has 15 CHAPTERS! IT'S NOT FAIR!"

"Woah, calm down, YL."

The Authoress whizzed by again, yelling, "NRUTERLLIWWODAHS!"

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That last comment contains a hidden message for all Dark Link fans out there! Speaking of, I will now list all the known types of Links!

Adult Link

Young Link

8-Bit Link

16-Bit Link

Ocarina of Time Link

Chibi Link

Dark Link

The Link used in the games featuring Vaati

Twilight Link

Dark Young Link (Invented by me!)

If you know any others, TELL ME IN A REVIEW!


	18. Explanation

Numdenu sauntered onstage as the screen faded in. "This chapter will be used as a little bit of an explanation for 'Curse of the 10/4', to clear things up. Thank you very much, and at the end of the chapter is a SPECIAL ANNOUNCEMENT!"

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RoyalFanatic writes: Yayness to another chapter!  
Falcon: Help! An undead turtle is biting off my toes!  
Y. Link: Anyone hear anything?  
Bowser: Nope, must be the wind.  
Falcon: WHY DO YOU HATE ME!  
Ignoring the wind that sounds like someone always picked on, update soon!

**My Response is: Wind? Hold on one sec… -calls over shoulder- CHIBI LINK, STOP MESSING WITH THE WIND WAKER!**

Mullenium Master writes: Um, no reason...Um my caps button was stuck... NOT! Sorry, couldn't resist! I saw that in your Minish cap story! Anyway, I was just ranting because I thought you didn't see my review for chapter 15. Anyway, yes there are other Links. There's:

Deku Link(in MM)  
Goron Link(also in MM)  
Zora Link(same as above)  
Oni Link(I think that's what it's called, anyway it's when Link puts on the Feirce Deteiy's mask in MM)  
The wolf Link upcoming in the Twilight Princess (not worth it to put that in, since hardly anyone knows what that looks like)  
There's also a Link with brown hair! He's in the second Zelda game! It's extreamly old. But oldies are goodies, that's what I always say.

Bah more ranting, forgive me. I just came out of school. The teachers like to brainwash me and the only reason I can escape is because of video games and fanfiction. Ah, what can I do? Anyway, update soon!

**My Response is: More people know about Wolf Link than you think…fer instance, in a Player versus Player battle online, I got the snot beaten out of me by a wolf named Link!**

Spoonz writes: Me: -reads the ending message screeched by Numdenu- Hm, what an astoundingly simple code! Of course, I've read Deltora Quest.

**My Response is: That wasn't the question!**

Hylian Dragoness writes: Don't say Macbeth in a theatre! The play is cursed and it you say it in a theatre the current play will be doomed! It may burn down or an actor will be unable to proform! Than you must run around the theater 3 times, that spin around 3 times and spit on the ground to lift the curse!

Anywho, sorry bout the slight mane mess up in my last review. I was reading a dragonology book. Love the fic You rock awsomeness. Woot!

**My Response is: Can you get background info on why "Macbeth" is cursed? Thankee!**

Razzkat writes: Oh god...now I'm going to have nightmares about turtles eating my toes...gr8 chappie.

**My Response is: Thanks!**

Joebthegreat writes: I really dont care how to spell... sqerrale... sqwerel... skerl... maggot... YES!... THATS IT!...

and... wouldn't Ocarina of Time Link be... Adult Link/Young Link...

what about chicken fried Link?... I swear I've seen something like that at one of those fast food chains somewhere...

**My Response is: O.o Get me some!**

Silver Ferret writes: Silver Ferret:I'm getting tired of always typing "Silver Ferret" ALL the way out in script format, thus I hereby dub me...SF! TADAA!  
Marth:(whispers)ku! stupid baka turtle. he had to chase me around all day, didn't he?(mutters various japanese curse words)  
SF:I'm...not gonna translate that...Marth, quit cussing. You act like I can't understand you.  
Marth:Oops. Hey, whatever happened to Roy-kun?  
SF:(points towards conveniantly placed window)  
Marth:...?  
SF:...  
Marth?  
SF:...How're we doing this if this isn't manga-for all those poor folks who don't know what manga is, 1)You poor, poor soul, and 2)It's a japanese-style comic book  
Marth:Did you really have to explain that?  
SF:Marth, you're not being very smart. There are people in this world who don't know what manga is.  
Marth:Anime, too?  
SF:Japanese-style cartoons? Yes.  
Marth:We're boring our readers.  
SF:What readers! Nobody reads the reviews! It's an outrage! A disgrace! Why, it's a crime by a unwritten law! It's-(gets dragged off by Marth)

**My Response is: Whee! I'm breaking the law! Cuz I read my reviews! Dun dun dunnn….**

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Numdenu was in a nameless room playing Pong against the AI, when a familiar sword slid out from the shadows and around her neck. But Numdenu kept playing. "Dang! Lost again! Oh, hi YL." The sword retreated and out stepped the young Hylian with a small groan. Numdenu turned around and smiled at the boy.

"So, whaddya want?"

Young Link sighed. "I want some answers."

"Okay, shoot."

"Why was 10/4 cursed?"

"Oh…that." Numdenu's smile faded. "Well, you see, it all started in my guild on Neopets…there was this girl there named Ash, and-"

"Like, Pokemon Ash?"

"No, I bet it was short for Ashley. Anyway, whenever I said, 'Bathroom break' or, 'Be right back, chocolate' she would always say '10/4, Num.' I told her to stop, but she changed her Neo-Signature to, 'Fear the 10/4, Num!' It really went to my head."

Young Link blinked. "She hexed you?"

"I guess."

"Riiight…now, what was up with the turtle?"

Numdenu jumped up and started running around the room. "My science teacher's gonna kill me! HELP!"

"Woah, calm down!" Young Link grabbed Numdenu and pulled her down to the floor, where she sat in the fetal position.

"Sorry, YL, The turtle was my teacher's. His name is…was…Leo."

"Leo? Why was his name Leo?"

Numdenu got onto her knees. "Don't ask me!"

"Alright, why was Peach directing a parody of Macbeth?"

Numdenu ran around the room three times, shouting, "Angels and ministers of death defend us!" before stopping and spitting on the carpet in the middle of the room. "Don't say Mac- you know what I mean- in here! It's cursed!"

Young Link was too busy shrinking back from the glob of saliva on the floor to notice what she said. "Okay, ummm…someone please wipe that up?"

Numdenu sketched a vacuum cleaner with her silver quill, which then promptly sucked up the spit and disappeared. Then Numdenu snickered evily as she began to sketch a Ninetales. Young Link raised a questioning eyebrow as the Ninetales turned pure white, and by pure white, I mean like the white of a blank MS Paint document. The Ninetales then started chasing the Hylian around the room.

"NUM! WHAT THE (censored) DIDJYA DRAW THAT FOR!"

"Tsk, tsk. You shouldn't use censored language!"

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The screen then turns blue as the words "BREAKING NEWS" flash across the screen. It then fades to Numdenu with a sorrowful look on her face.

"Guys, I thought it would never come to this, but it has. I'm out. My mind is kaput. I just can't think anymore. So, I need YOU to review with suggestions, or else this story will have to officially go on HIATUS!"

Young Link gasped in genuine terror. "What! WHAT! WHY?"

"I told you, my mind is kaput. HOWEVER! Since this is never-ending, I will post a completely random, nonsense chapter every month or so. As for the 'NRUTERLLIWWODAHS' thing, it's a complete enigma on how I'll go about doing that."

Young Link was shrieking like his life would end when the hiatus became official. "YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO MEEEEEEEE!"

REVIEW-We need your help!


	19. Swordsmen Are Blonde

Well, I must say…thank you all. The threat of the hiatus has passed. I have ideas now. Thank you!

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Spoonz writes: Okay, first of all, I'm gonna sue ff(dot)net for cutting my reviews short. It keeps cutting my reviews short! I'll write a flippin' NOVEL and only the first paragraph will appear! Anyway...  
-glomps- BE RANDOM! BE HAPPY! Be what I have lost with "The Legend of Advertisement!". It died. And I'm sad. But with the addition of "WTF!", my random humor is back. MAKE SOMETHING TRAGICALLY COMEDIC HAPPEN! Using and example from my Naruto fic "WTF!":  
The Magical Cookies of BuTtErFlY lAnD turn everyone into their polar opposite! The main characters who were originally a Goth, a pink prep, and an obsessed ninja (in that order) have become a pink prep, a Goth, and a NARWHAL! Take experiences from everday life, like me and the Great FedEx Migration (coming soon to a fanfiction near you). In terms of actual suggestions... -lights fade, Ed appears on Num's stage- I've got nothing! ; Sorry. -lights cut out-  
Here's hoping they don't decapitate my review again!

**My Response is: Narwhal? Oh jeez.**

Mullenium Master writes: I know why Macbeth is cursed. I know you asked Hylian Dragoness, but I'll tell you anyway. Maybe it will help give you an idea.

According to legand, Shakespear used ideas from a bunch of witches and their spells to write Macbeth. When the witches found out, they cursed the play. No one knew how the play was cursed. Rehursels(sp?) were going well. Nothing seemed wrong. Until the night of the preformance, an actor said the name Macbeth in another actor's dressing room.

The play was going smoothly. Until the fencing theme of the play started. The rapiers of the swords had little safety balls at the tip, so no one could get hurt. But for some reason, one of the safety balls came off of one rapier and, without realizing it, they continued. The actor, who owned the dressing room where the other actor had said the name, was killed in that scene.

Pretty freaky, huh? Anyway, you oughta go with Y.Link's birthday soon. PLZ invite me!

**My Response is: YL's birthday's gonna be in November.**

Joebthegreat writes: YOU SHOULD DO A CHAPTER DEVOTED TO THE FRENCH INVATION OF Y. LINKS BUTT!

(That was in my history book... dont ask why it looks oddly like sharpie was just scribbled on some pieces of paper... IT'S REAL!)

and I got you this bag of Chicken Fried Link!

Link: MY LEG!... NOO!

Hey wait... I thought I was against putting charicters in my reviews as if they actually liked me... but it is true... ITS A LEG!

What? Its not MY fault I oppress Links... your story is devoted to them... and it's my JOB to oppress...

you could do a story about Y. Link's High School History teacher learning voodoo for the sake of controling his kids... and it gets out of control... and Y. Link's ear gets bitten off!

or you could do some sort of stupid D&D game...

or maybe they all get in a fierce competition over who can write the best FanFiction!... of course I already know you would rig all of these for Y. Link... OH WELL!

maybe you can just have fun and write a story about labels and how they do harm to society... and be all angsty... because you didnt get that $500 car you wanted... so life hates you and stuff... YES!... or NO!... it doesnt matter... What were we yelling about again?

(in the mass hysteria we see thay Y. Link actually uses Lon-Lon milk to smuggle crack!)

**My Response is: O.o ? Crack?**

RoyalFanatic writes: Bowser: I guess even genusies run out of ideas.  
Pikachu: Bowser, I think you spelled that wrong...  
Bowser: So what? I can spell however I want!  
Marth: ...someone save me...  
I'll save you! hands him my two paper fans  
Marth: starts whacking B-man and Pika  
Pikachu & Bowser: AH! THE PAIN!  
Hmm...sorry, but I can't think; school has corrupted me...unless you decide to send Y. Link by himself or with the other kids to school...and watch them fall into the corruption we call education.  
Anyways, update soon!

**My Response is: Hmmm…either Ganon got a PHD in everything, and that's why he's nutso, or he used to be an Oscar Meyer Weiner!**

Quarma The Panther writes: How about...Young Link gets a girlfriend and on the day of the date he gets cursed by Jusenkyo, the curse where hot water makes you a girl and cold water makes you a boy!

**My Response is: Actually, a crush will be coming up…but I like that idea of the hot water/cold water curse! **

Hylian Dragoness writes: 'Macbeth' or 'the Scottish play' is cursed because the first time it was put on, the stage burned down, then an actor died. At least that's what all the folks at my local theater tell me. (And they're usually right about old plays)

I'm sad that this will be on Hiatus, but I can send fresh ideas. The kareoke idea is still up.

Hope for the best. Woot!

**My Response is: NO HIATUS YET!**

Silver Ferret writes: SF:Suggestion time! Stick Sessho-kun in!  
Marth:Sessho-kun?  
SF:Sesshomaru-sama!  
Marth:You...YOU!  
SF:What'd I do now, Princy  
Marth:Not the stupid demon! You sold me out for that baka in yours and Num's last RPG!  
Sesshomaru:Silence, blue-haired fool.  
SF:Stop calling each other names. Anyways, Num, just bring him in for comic relief. But make him look stipid and you will feel PAIN! You've been warned...  
Roy: Idea number 2-death to Gannon! Have our favorite green-clad hero list all the ways to dispatch a certain annoying Gerudo...(glares at said Gerudo)  
Marth:Roy-kun?  
SF:Or make our faveorite (at least my favorite) Altean prince wake up on the wrong side of the bed!  
Marth:Hey! Not funny!  
SF:Uh-huh. Well, mu brain is now spent, so SEE YA!

**My Response is: Yeah, Killing Perfection was in that last game…before you traded. I'm still a little startled by the pairings. I mean, who's ever heard of Vaati/Tetra fluff?**

Razzkat writes: O.o On hiatus? Aw...I dunno, I'd like to see more of the turtle myself. I had a teacher who WAS a turtle...

Great chapter, and good luck on the next one!

**My Response is: I'm actually having a big reunion of characters once I get 100 reviews…including the turtle!**

Master Disaster writes: Alright, Num. For starters:

"Macbeth" is the name of a planet on Star Fox 64.

Now, for the problem. Okay, here are some thoughts:

-Young Link blows up half of the Mansion, and then a neighbor is yelling, calls the police, the police arrive, and then debris falls on the police car, causing explosins and a romantic view to soem couples. (I have no idea what the last part was about.)  
-Like in Star Fox: Assault, Fox is in a falling Landmaster, honing his skills, when he jumps out, but touching the bottom of a falling Landmaster hurts you, so he screams and then the Landmaster falls on some innocent person.  
-In Star Wars Battlefront, standing next to a vehicle that hasn't been manned in a while will cause spontaneous combustion to the vehicle, and blows you away. For them, someone is getting in a ship, and then boom. (Don't know why I think it's funny.)  
-Everyone starts calling each other a douche bag.(I don't know WHAT the hell is up with this.)

**My Response is: Douche bag?**

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**Rrrrring! Rrrrrrring!**

The alarm clock blared, the sound echoing in this particular Smasher's dorm. Young Link groaned and reached over to the alarm clock, completely forgetting about the Lon Lon he had set by it, the leftovers of a midnight snack. As he reached, the milk spilled all over him. "AAIEEEEEE!"

He practically jumped and almost hit the ceiling, before rolling ungracefully to the floor, Lon Lon dripping from his bangs. Young Link absently groaned one simple phrase, one that you would know well if you read the old Garfield comics. "I hate Mondays."

Up and in his tunic in a flash, Young Link looked at his alarm clock. It read "10:30"…which was too late for breakfast. "WHAT THE CENSORED?"

No, really, he actually said the word censored.

Master Hand's voice blared over the loud speaker. "PICHU! Pichu, please report to my office!" Pichu. The prankster. The MOUSE did it! Yup, Young Link hated Mondays.

So, the Hylian sauntered down the stairs, and checked to make sure there were no matches that day. None. He headed over to the arcade.

"Hey, over here YL!" Ness shouted, looking up from his Sword of Mana game. "I found out something interesting!"

"What? A glitch?" Young Link asked eagerly.

"No, something else!"

"C'mon, tell me!"

Ness stood up proudly. "All swordsmen are blonde!"

Young Link gave him a quizzical look.

"No, really, they're all blonde."

"Ness, you play a lot of Fable, you should know better."

"My character's a mage. And my other dyed his hair blonde!"

"Can you do that?"

"ALL SWORDSMEN ARE BLONDE! Here, just take a look at my character on here, Ivan. See? He's blonde!"

Young Link thought for a couple seconds. "Alright, explain Marth's hair color."

"Marth's a she-male."

Marth stomped in, grabbed Ness by the collar, and dragged him away.

"Duh, Ness, you shouldda known better!" Young Link called after him.

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This is it, folks. At 100 reviews, I will throw a party! With everyone except Falcon! That includes:

Fruitcake Man!

Fruitcake Man: YES!

Shadow!

Shadow: Mwuahahahahahahahaha!

Leo, my science teacher's turtle!

Leo: …

Plus…

Mister Disaster!

Joebthegreat!

Uber Spoonz's Ed!

Silver Ferret!

Any other author that wants to be featured!

And guest starring…Chibi Link!

YL: All my friends!

Sorry this chapter is short, but review anyways!


	20. PARTY TIME!

Sorry, it's been awhile. I've had: Homework, reports, numerous phone chats with a certain Ferret, and over the weekend I was just EverQuest'd out. But guess what? PARTY TIME!

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Uber Spoonz writes: Me: YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW WEIRD THIS IS!  
Little Link: I really think she does, Ed.  
Me: Not the story, you Dumas!  
Announcer Type Person: Dumas is an actual name, pronounced "doo-moss".  
Little Link: Well, what's so weird then?  
Me: The fact that when I review anonymously for another story, I use the name "Uber Spoonz and the Blondes" and every blonde protagonist I've ever seen joins the fun.  
Little Link: Is that all?  
Me: That's not the weird part!  
Little Link: Then what is?  
Me: SOMEONE ELSE ON THIS EARTH HAS PLAYED SWORD OF MANA!  
Little Link: That's weird?  
Me: You have no idea! What's funny is how they call him Hero, so I pride myself on coming up with awesome names for him. Recently I've adopted the name "Fork".  
Little Link: Fork?  
Me: Fork.  
Little Link: -coughs- Well, you read the news, right?  
Me: The stuff about the party? YEAH! Ed gets to torture Young Link with her over-adoration some more!  
Little Link: Will there be a visit from the narwhal?  
Me: ...probably not.  
Little Link: Can I come?  
Me: That's up to Num.  
Little Link: -turns to Num- PLEASE LET ME COME!  
Me: ; Enough groveling, L.Link.  
Little Link: But me LIKES to grovel!  
Me: Oh sure, grovel for the party girl...

**My Response is: Sure, why not? We've already got Adult Link, Young Link, Dark Young Link (Shadow), AND Chibi Link! LINK-FEST!**

Mullenium Master writes: I'd like to be featured plz. My looks are on my bio. Update soon!

**My Response is: Okies!**

Joebthegreat writes: I LOVE GARFIELD'S OLD SCHOOL COMICS!

and I have a stash of them in my bedroom...

OOH OOH!... O WANNA BE FEATURED!... FEATURE ME!... WHY WONT YOU FEATURE ME!... PLEASE!... PUT IN JOEB! PLEASE! WHY DO YOU HAVE EVERYONE BUT ME!... oh wait... I am on the guest list...

CRAP!... NOW I HAVE TO BUY AN EXPENSIVE SUIT!... YOU SUCK!

(are you gonna kill me)

ARE YOU GONNA KILL THE PARENTHISIS MAN!

(please... I'm sick of this guy!)

either way... LON LON MILK IS A FRONT FOR COCANE DEALS!

and I think I popped in the middle of this review...

HAPPY 100 REVIEWS ALMOST...ISH!...

AND WHAT ABOUT ROY!... oh yeah... he wears a wig... in reality it's naturally blonde... before it fell out...

wait... Did YL just call me a friend... or say I'm not a friend... it's one or the other... ANSWER ME YL!...

(who is YL anyway... I know of a Young Link... but no YL)

WHY DO YOU TORTURE MY SOUL!

**My Response is: YL IS Young Link! Where have you been all your life, in a sewer?**

Quarma The Panther writes: PUT ME IN AND I'LL FEED YOU MONEY! OR YUOR WALLET MONEY! MY FANCHARACTER PAIJHING IS COMING, TOO! UH OH! I'M BREAKING AN INTERNET RULE! DON'T TYPE IN ALL CAPS LIKE THIS! AND THE COPS JUST SHOWED UP! SOMEBODY HELP!

**My Response is: Money tastes nasty…but you can come!**

Silver Ferret writes: SF:Ooh, new idea! Stick the Wind Waker characters in, as well as my very own, HALF-COPASSIONATE VAATI! HAHAHA! Complete with Vaati/Tetra fluff! Howzat! Hey... I think I'm the hundredth reviewer! Yay! Gimme Vaati T-shirt!TTFN, Num!

**My Response is: A Vaati T-shirt? Ummm…hows about a plushie?**

Razzkat writes: OMG YAY Fruitcake man! He's my hero...

O.o what about Roy? His hair is red, nad he's not a girl...actually, I lied, he is.

Roy: HEY! Wha!

Great chappie; congratties on 100 reviews. Whoo!

**My Response is: I think there's a story under my Favorites category with Roy getting turned into a girl!**

Hylian Dragoness writes: Woo hoo! Party! May I come?

I love this fic so much! I love the main character, and the random plotlines, and everything!

Let's play pin the tail on CF! Oops, I missed and hit his forehead.

Woot!

**My Response is: I'd play, but tails are positioned close to one's groin….**

RoyalFanatic writes: Oh I wanna join! Let me join! Please?  
Bowser: Yeah, you can cut her dating time.  
whacks Bowser with my rapier Glazer QUIET!  
Bowser: I'm alright...passes out  
Ha ha! Ness got what he deserved. And what about Roy? He's a swordsman, and his hair is red!  
Anyways, don't listen to B-man, just update sometime soon!

**My Response is: Ah, the age-old question: WHERE WAS ROY DURING THE LAST CHAPPIE!**

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"PARTY TIME!"

Numdenu flew at breakneck speed through the walls and tackled down a certain Hylian.

"PARTY TI-Oops, sorry, Princess Zelda."

Zelda scowled as she got up and brushed herself off, and continued walking into the party room.

The party room was nicely decorated with streamers and little things hanging from the ceiling, and on the left was the snack bar of the gods, as it seemed. There was everything from conventional chips and salsa, to sushi, to every single kind of food imaginable. On the right were a couple of tables for cards, board games, etc. Oh, and one table had a large glass case, and in it was Leo the turtle.

Zelda looked around clueless while Numdenu tackled the next person "PAR-Heeheehee, sorry Mewtwo."

Mewtwo floated in looking rather annoyed, while Num proceeded to tackle people.

"PARTY TIM-Ummm…hi, Falco!"

"PARTY T-Whoops, pardon me Samus!"

"PAR-EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! Get out from under me!"

Marth and Roy were tossed hastily into the party room. All the Smashers looked around clueless, until Numdenu squealed with delight and tackled a certain YOUNG Hylian. "PAAAAAAARTYYYYYY TIIIIIIIIMEEEEEE!"

"GYAAH! Uhhh, hi Num…I miss anything?" Young Link said nervously.

Young Link was thrown unceremoniously into the party room.

Numdenu floated in and shut the door, then took out a "To-Do At The Party" list. "Hmmmm…ok! Pin the tail on the Captain Falcon!" The Phantom Authoress hung up a giant, badly-drawn poster of Falcon, and people had a riot with that.

And then the doorbell rang.

Num flew over to the door, and when she opened it, smiled a mischievous little smile. "_Guten Tag, Verbindung._"

"No more German, please, or I'll slaughter you like crap." Chibi Link walked in, and his demeanor instantly changed. "Hey! Food!"

Young Link stared at his Chibi-self gorging at the snack table. When Chibi Link turned around, he smiled broadly. "Hey, I know you!" Young Link grinned and the two high-fived.

"Hey, it's you, Chibi!" Adult Link beamed. The three Links then proceeded to talk about their adventures.

Chibi was really soaking up the attention from the other two. "And then, I threw Ezlo again, and the armor of the Darknut split, and it was a CHUCHU! It somehow threw Ezlo back at me and I narrowly dodged-" he made some wild gestures "-and then picked him up and threw him back, and it hit the ChuChu, an it let out a bone-chilling shriek as it fell, lifeless!"

"Pretty interesting they roared," commented Adult Link.

Young Link smirked. "Oh yeah? Well, has one of your chapters ever had to be narrated by a Wood Elf Ranger? Geez, that was weird."

The doorbell rang, and before Numdenu could open the door, Ed tore it down, rushed in, and tackled Young Link, squealing, "KAWAII!"

Adult Link chuckled at the over-adoration of his younger self while Chibi Link took photographs.

Ed's muse, LITTLE Link, sauntered in. "Hey guys!" The other Links waved him over, and proceeded to talk, Ed hanging like a cape off of Young Link's neck.

In then came Mullenium Master, Joeb, Quarma, Razzkat, Hylian Dragoness, and RoyalFanatic sauntered in and started to play either Clue or Pin-The-Tail/Sword/Dart/Sharp Object-On-Falcon.

Then Silver Ferret stomped in filled with rage. "You…YOU! You embarrassed Marth, now you die!" she shrieked, rushing forward. Numdenu threw a rock that hit the ferret square between the eyes, but it had no effect. So, the Phantom Authoress did the only thing she could….

…She threw a plushie of Vaati at Silver Ferret.

The ferret screeched to a halt and all at once began snuggling the plushie of the purple villain. She then tucked it away gingerly and went to get some tofu at the snack bar.

Fruitcake Man strode in, cackling evilly, and was instantly swarmed by a dark blur. Young Link looked up hopefully, and sure enough, it was none other than Shadow who had eaten the madman…errr…fruitcake.

"Hey! Shadow! I thought you were dead!"

Shadow let out a small belch and smiled. "Hey, what's that? Pin-The-Tail/Sword/Dart/Sharp Object-On-Falcon? Count me in!"

The other Smashers either cheered or stared with chat eyes as Fox blindfolded Shadow and spun him around as the young…shadow person(?)…drew his sword and marched confidently…towards the doorway.

The REAL Falcon just happened to peek in, and before he could even see anybody, Shadow's sword went through his skull. Thus, the F-Zero Racer fell over and died. Shadow took off the blindfold and smirked. "Whoops!"

Zelda, Samus, and Peach beamed with delight, and started singing jubilantly, "Ding Dong, the pervert's dead!"

Everyone laughed and clapped at this. Young Link turned to Numdenu, saying, "Wow, you actually did a good job for once!"

Numdenu smiled triumphantly, then it quickly faded. "Hey, WHAT?"

More laughter.

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Review please!


	21. Newbie

Sorry, my computer at my mom's place won't load any webpages for some mysterious reason. Oh yeah, and I feel crappy. Why? Silver Ferret should know, since I sent her an UBER E-Mail last night. Well, what generally happened was...I had to have oral surgery on Thursday.

YL: Ewww...

Yah, I know. It hurts when I talk, I have stitches in my mouth, AND I can only have real soft mushy stuff.

YL: Sucks to be you.

SILENCE FOOL! I CAN STILL TYPE!

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Young Link sauntered down the many halls in the Smash Mansion, bored with nothing to do. He paused momentarily to see Ness flung over a tree branch being beaten on with sticks like a piñata, but a warning glare from Roy quickly sent him on his way.

So he continued sauntering and being bored, but Master Hand's voice booming over the loudspeakers changed that.

"EVERYONE PLEASE REPORT TO THE ARENA!"

By the time Young Link got to the arena, it was packed. Master Hand floated to the center, escorting a young girl, about eleven, with shoulder length sable brown hair, wearing a padded dark forest green tank top with matching shorts, her stomach clearly visible. She was long-legged and lanky, and had two pistols tucked into holsters attached to her pants. Her keen emerald eyes observed the arena with great interest.

Master Hand led her to the center of the arena. "Everyone, this is Tayler. She wants to join the Smashers, so I've decided to put her through some trials to see what she can do. I've already showed her how the system works, so all that remains are the battle trials. The three trials are these: A one-on-one battle, an event match, and a target breaking exercise."

Young Link remembered the first two matches from when he applied for being a Smasher, but the target test was new. He wondered how the newcomer would fare.

"Now then," spoke Master Hand, "The computer will choose a name at random, and that person will fight Tayler." A monitor appeared behind the hand and showed a great wheel, with each of the Smashers' names on it. The wheel slowed, and stopped after an agonizing minute on the name...

...Young Link.

The Hylian blinked in utter disbelief. Why did it have to be his name? Of all the names, why?

"Young Link, into the arena!"

The two combatants appeared on the familiar angelic platforms, as Master Hand's voice boomed, "BEGIN!"

Tayler whipped out her pistols quick as lightning and fired two lasers at Young Link, who easily deflected them. He then closed in and swung his sword, but Tayler ducked out of the way. Young Link swung again, but she rolled nimbly to the side and fired, the lasers met with steel as Young Link desperately deflected the beams. Tayler fired blindly, so Young Link raised his shield and charged.

Just as she was within reach, Young Link swung and...missed. Tayler slipped behind and fired at point blank, landing eight direct hits on his back. The Hylian winced in pain, then quickly charged up his blade and performed his Spin Attack. Tayler reeled backwards, but quickly regained her footing and fired relentlessly. Young Link got his shield up and closed in again...but Tayler performed a low kick and tripped him.

As Young Link staggered up, several shots were fired into him, so he pulled out his shield again, thought...and got a plan.

He ducked behind an object and readied his bow. Sure enough, Tayler was either curious or wanted a clear shot. As she came into view, Young Link fired a fully charged fire arrow at her, and she was sent flying. She was almost gone...

Tayler desperately double-jumped, did an Up-B attack, and barely grabbed the edge. Man, was she tough!

After she got back up, Young Link threw his boomerang after her, but Tayler gracefully dodged and cartwheeled right into easy range of the Hylian. He was about to swing his sword, when Tayler did an astonishing throw...

Tayler leapt backwards over Young Link, grabbing his head between her ankles, and with one fluid backflip, tossed the Hylian into the air and off the stage while landing on her hands.

He couldn't believe it. Young Link double-jumped, did his Up-B attack, and tried his Hookshot, but it missed the edge by a mere inch. He had been...beaten? By a newbie? Whatever it was, he could do nothing but fall...not to his doom, of course. Master Hand would've been arrested quite a while ago if he was killing the tournament's competitors. But it seemed so much like it was the end. He closed his eyes and braced himself—who said there was no pain in losing?

Finally, with a soft thud, Young Link landed on the cushioning that was far beneath every stage as Master Hand boomed the one word that, in this case, would mean defeat..."GAME!"

The Smashers applauded the newcomer's victory as Tayler beamed far above. "Next is the Event Match," Master Hand said. An angelic platform floated down to Young Link, and he clambered on as it floated back up to the Stadium floor.

Adult Link ran over to where his younger self stepped off the platform. "Hey, you did perfectly fine. Did she beat you up too much?" he asked slightly jokingly.

Young Link shook his head, and ran back to the rest of the Smashers, just as Master Hand announced the Event Match would be tomorrow. The Smashers drifted out of the arena, several congratulating Tayler on her victory, while Young Link looked around and shrugged. He was about to leave too, but a hand on his shoulder stopped him.

"You did good," Tayler smiled. Young Link looked back at her and returned the smile.

"Thanks. Haven't been beaten in awhile," Young Link replied. "Congrats, and good luck with tomorrow. You'll need it."

Tayler removed her hand and beamed. "So...Young Link? That's your name?" The Hylian nodded. "Nice name, except for the 'young' part, but I saw a guy who looked like you, 'cept older."

Young Link turned to face her. "When he's not around, just call me Link, okay?"

"Sure. So...hows about you show around this crazy place?"

Young Link's face lit up. "Sure! Follow me!"

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Well, this certainly took me long to write for some mysterious reason.

YL: You were RP-ing in your guild on Neopets, a Zelda RP if I remember correctly.

Oh yeah!

YL: Plus a Jurassic Park flash movie that had for music this college girl singing, "It is Jurassic Park... It's so Jurassic..."

Lol, that rocked. And the guy you poked with a needle? The girl says some mushy stuff, then the guy says, "I like bacon".

YL: You're forgetting something...

OMIGOSH! THE REVIEWS!

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Mullenium Master writes: Ding Dong, the pevert's dead!  
The pervert's dead, the pervert's dead,  
Ding Dong the pervert's dead  
so early in the party!

I brought SSBM, WHO WANTS TO PLAY?  
I also brought cookies,  
and a present for Numdenu.  
What is it? It's more Vaati plushies you can throw at Silver Ferret when she gets annoying again.

Oh ya, and a present for Young Link.  
What is it?  
Ezlo: Hello again. Now I get revenge for all that Link ever did to... Huh? Wait... HOW MANY LINKS ARE HERE! AaHh! THIS IS SHEER TORTURE!  
All Links: Hey Lets use Ezlo against the somehow-come-back-to-life C.Falcon!  
Ezlo: No!  
Me: That was my present...  
Update soon! MWA-HA-HA!  
(sorry, I ate all the cookies at once... BUT I HAVE MORE!)

**My Response is: Nice hat.**

Spoonz writes: Ed: BEWARE THE WRATH OF-  
Little Link: Yah, shut up, Ed.  
Ed: WHY ARE YOU SO CRUEL TO ME!  
Little Link: You deserve no less. Now where did these strange new people go...? I wanted to fight someone!  
Ed: OO; Yo, Little Link, it was a party.  
Little Link: WHAT! You told me it was a public execution!  
Ed: I TOLD YOU NOTHING, YA FLIPPIN' HARPY!  
Little Link: How DARE you call me a harpy? How DARE you!  
Ed: Harpy, harpy, harpy!  
Little Link: SHUT UP! You over-adoring-of-my-older-video-game-self's-young-self FREAK!  
Ed: I DO NOT OVER-ADORE YOUNG LINK! ...much.  
Little Link: Prove it. Go one day... without wearing green.  
Ed: B-but... then I'd be nekkid!  
Little Link: Nekkid?  
Ed: Nekkid! You know, with the fig leaves... but since leaves are green, there would be no fig leaves so-  
Little Link: AAH! MENTAL IMAGES! SHUT UP! SHUT UP! SHUT UP!  
Ed: -pokes Ferrety Lady- I KNOW JOO! You reviewed one of my new fanfictions!  
Little Link: Which one? The one where you send a bunch of toddlers to high school or the one where older-video-game me gets maimed and massacred by older-video-game-dark me?  
Ed: I think the one where I send a bunch of toddlers to high school.  
Little Link: Why DID you do that?  
Ed: Because you need to suffer too!  
Little Link: YOU MADE ME THE LEAST POPULAR GUY IN SCHOOL! EVERYONE HATES ME!  
Ed: As it should be, ya harpy.  
Little Link: AGAIN with the harpies...  
Ed: SUGGESTIONS PERTAINING TO NEXT CHAPTER INCLUDE...  
Little Link: All the Links go to school and there is mass confusion and fangirlism!  
Ed: Oo That was NOT my suggestion...  
Little Link: Really?  
Ed: Yah, but good enough! What Shorty said!  
Little Link: Wait, did you just call me short!  
Ed: X3 I'm short, and I'm taller than you!  
Little Link: Monkey arsenic! SHE'S RIGHT! Now I'm gonna sue Nintendo!  
Ed: Oo Good luck with that.

**My Response is: Ferret read that? WOW.**

RoyalFanatic writes: Yay! PARTY!  
I like Clue.  
Yay! Shadow's alive!  
Y. Link: Shadow! You're alive! starts jumping up and down. Shadow joins in  
Okays...Ha ha! Falcon's dead! Good riddance, I say.  
Ghost of Falcon: Help me...  
Roy: AH! The wind has come to kill us!  
Pika, Bowser, and Mr.G&W: RUN AWAY! run away  
Roy: WAIT FOR ME! runs away  
... ...Marth, please finish the review. unsheathes Glazer and leaves  
Marth: They're going to get it. Anyway, update soon!

**My Response is: Your goat is my lunch-I mean your wish is my command!**

Quarma The Panther writes: So where's the falling tubas/heavy objects on Falcon (and Game and Watch. he sucks)

**My Response is: Falcon got a frigging sword through his head.**

Hylian Dragoness writes: Yeah! I love fun parties. There's karaoke, food, fireworks, burping contests, and the odd bottle game (spin the bottle, truth or dare, all that jazz)

Thank you for letting me be apart of the party! I love it! an dI love the fic! Woot!

**My Response is: **

Joeb writes: Ohh... I GET IT!

YL is like... YILL... and yill is like mill... and mills are related to farms (second cousins really)... and Lon Lon Ranch is... well... in the equation... and Young Link goes to Lon Lon Ranch... AND THATS WHY YL AND YOUNG LINK ARE RELATED!

anyway... you only put me on a list... I WENT THROUGH ALL THAT TROUBLE TO BUY AN EXPENSIVE SUIT... AND I WAS ONLY IN A LIST!... I WANNA GET CAPTAIN FALCONS AUTOGRAPH!... BECAUSE LOOKING AT HIM REMINDS ME OF POPSICLE STICKS!... and that stuff is cool...

i think... HAHA... tricked you...

anyway... I'm having spasms right now... I suggest calling the police... AND SPREAD THE WORD OF THE KAZZJAFF!

**My Response is: Joo idiot! Y for Young and L for Link!**

Younopoo writes: You fanfictions are hialrious with a hint of randomness you should make a chibi link stay in the world of ssb and make him suffer Mhuwahahahahaha! Nice chapter.

**My Response is: Lol, mebbe I should.**

Silver Ferret writes: SF:Hey, sorry. I reviewed before, but the evil mother stole my internet connection and it didn't get to you.  
Marth:Mm, sushi.  
Roy:Where'd you get that?  
SF:You're STILL eating that stuff! It's OLD by now! Ick!  
Marth:I make my own.  
Roy:Me want...(drools)  
Marth:Umm...(slinks off)  
SF:Oh, well. VAATI!(snuggles Vaati plushie)  
Roy:Wow, look what the cat barfed up.  
SF:HEY! NO INSULTIE VAATI-KUN!  
Vaati:...  
Roy:What're you doing here?  
Vaati:I had nothing better to do. Num hasn't updated MC:DD.  
Roy:...M...C...D...D...?  
SF:Mnish Cap:Deleted Dialogues  
Roy:...Right.I'm...gonna go pig out on Sonic's Sonic Size Cheesey Fries.  
SF:Yay! Piggy!  
Vaati:...O-kay. I think I'll join you. Nothing for me, thanks. Okay, maybe a Watermelon Slushie.  
SF:(huggles Vaati plushie)Can I come?(puppy dog eyes)  
All in Vicinity:NO!  
SF:Meanies.(sniff)I'll go do something fun. Then we'll see, oh we'll see alright!(giggles)  
Roy:Scary Vegetarian Silver Ferrety Fangirl. Okay, I'll break the tension, then we ALL leave. Umm...THE COLORS! THEY LOVE ME! LIKE A MONKEY!  
Vaati:You've been drinking Tang again, haven't you?(Apologies to the creator of the comic Marth and Roy. sorry for stealing your stuff. If you wanna find that comic, do a Google image search on Marth and Roy and click on the comic-looking thing.FUNNY!)  
SF:BYE, ALL!

**My Response is: Ummmm...hide Vaati from Chibi Link or else the hero will go berserk.**

Razzkat writes: ebob: Wohoo! Great party, I say. Sweet, Pin the Tail on the Falcon...heeheehee...  
CF: AH!  
ebob: Graet chappie! IT was--OMG Shadow Link ate Fruitcake Man? No, he was my hero! Oh well, it was funny. XD

**My Response is: Sorry, Fruitcake Man was evil.**

halomasterchief writes: NO! I missed the 100 review party! Sorry about not reviewing, but don't worry I'll review now! I've been busy also, so I can relate. So yeah, about this chapter. First of all, I'm so mad at myself that I didn't review sooner! I could have gone to your awesome party decked out in my awesome new Master Chief (or Spartan if you Halo fans want to be technical) armor! Only thing I have to say about that is hopefully Falcon won't become a zombie again. Or, for that matter, I hope none of the other Smashers get infected with the T-Virus! lol, sry. I've watched Resident Evil TOO many times! Well, gotta go finish writing my next chapter. Happy Halloween, and congratuations on reaching 100 reviews! Hopefully I'll get that many someday.

**My Response is: ...Ish clueless about Resident Evil, other than u shoot stuff.**

Meggy writes: Me:Sweet mother of Nayru, this is awsome! Please keep writing! Oh, by the way, thanks for reviewing 'Fairy Boy' for me. Glad you like my baby dodongo! You know any good names?

Young Link: Insane Zelda freek.

Me: QUIET! (Whacks YL with her fic famous WET NOODLE OF DOOM!) He never learns.

**My Response is: Ivan is Navi backwards...**

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I pledge allegiance! To the web banner! Of the United Geeks of America! And to the collective! For which it stands! One group! Under something! Across the nation! With stuff and more stuff for all!

YL: Weird...

Shush! I'm listening to music!


	22. HAPPY LATE BIRTHDAY!

"Awww, the wittle kid lost to a big mean newbie!" Bowser taunted.

He continued to do so until he was kicked in the groin by the one he was teasing, who then proceeded to stomp out of this fanfic.

Wait a tick…that was YL!

The Hylian got dragged back in by a crazy guy on broken skis.

Young Link sighed. Nobody was around today. The Mansion seemed empty. Bowser was the first Smasher he had seen that day, in fact. Something was up. They were planning something…good or bad, he couldn't tell. But it was _something_.

He could sense it.

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"No, no, no! Samus, I said left!" Falco shrieked.

Samus glared back through her helmet. "What does it look like I'm trying to do?"

"Well, try harder, you sissy girl!"

"WHAT!" Samus roared with anger, thus losing her balance and falling off the ladder.

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Running…running….

A hideous creature jumped out from its cubbyhole and killed the runner, flag falling to the floor.

Young Link cursed at the screen, then at the Xbox.

So he decided to switch it off and look around. There was STILL no sign of any fellow Smashers. Young Link began to worry. There was no Yoshi, or Mr. G&W, or Marth, or Tayler-

He stopped. Why was he concerned about the newbie? It had only been earlier that day that he had lost to her. He had showed her around the Smash Mansion, but after that she practically disappeared. What in Din's name was going on?

Something was going on. And he was close to the source.

Young Link swung open the double door to the convention room, and before he could react, every Smasher turned to face him and shouted as loud as they could, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY YOUNG LINK!"

"Ummm…guys?" Young Link replied calmly, "My birthday was the fifteenth."

The smiles on the Smashers' faces quickly melted away, and they glared at where Numdenu sat at the back of the room eating cheese pizza.

The Authoress chuckled nervously. "Eheheh…hi?"

At the party, everybody played "Whack-A-Num".

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REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS! REVIEWS!

Quarma The Panther writes: Homestar: You need a cool new background!  
Quarma: HEY! I only use you when reviewing Eternal Smasher! Get back in the box!  
Mario: Why aren't you playing my baseball game!  
Quarma: Well, I, uh...  
Luigi: Tell us, or else! Fox tested positive for rabies!  
Fox: R...  
Quarma: Okay, but I just cant remem-

AMNESIA RAY!

Homestar: What's goin' on?  
Mario: I don't know.  
Fox: Why does my mouth taste like shaving cream?  
Quarma: Nam from SoNiC BoOm owns all the said lines starting from Luigi's line. Go to Drunk to see great comics, like "Beaver and Steve" or "Pokemon Shroom Version." Time to play "Pokemon XD"!

**My Response is: Yay! Fox ate shaving cream:P**

Spoonz writes: Spoonz: Ivan is... GASP! It IS!  
Little Link: Oo Why is that so special?  
Spoonz: You've never played Golden Sun, so you wouldn't know.  
Little Link: What makes me sad is that you currently love Golden Sun more than you love Zelda.  
Spoonz: Shush. I need to look into the further relations between sweet li'l Ivan-kun and that harpy of a fairy.  
Little Link: AGAIN with the harpies?  
Spoonz: You said that last review.  
Little Link: And you used the word 'harpy' last review. Your point is?  
Spoonz: SHUSH. ...  
Little Link: -looks over Spoonz's shoulder- Wh-what are you at Google for?  
Spoonz: I told you, I'm looking to see if Ivan-kun and Navi are otherwise related.  
Little Link: Is that even possible?  
Gay Isaac: FLOWERS! -throws flowers at L.Link-  
Little Link: OO; WHAT ARE YOU!  
Spoonz: Oh yah. Recently these three people have taken up residence in my mind. I see you've met Gay Isaac. There's also Somewhat Content Isaac and Chronically Depressed Isaac.  
Little Link: You say they... live in your mind?  
Spoonz: -shrug- They had nowhere else to go. -finds a Zelda/GS crossover thingy- Well, this is the closest I've come. Apparently Ivan-kun and Navi really aren't related.  
Little Link: Duh.  
Somewhat Content Isaac: Ah, what a nice day, though not quite a perfect day. The sun is shining, but there a few clouds in the way. The breeze is blowing, but I think it may be the headwaters of a nor'easter. The birds are singing, but they're a little off-key.  
Chronically Depressed Isaac: And under my dead and decaying tree I sit, waiting for this torrent to wash the life from my tired being, waiting for it to steal my soul away.  
Gay Isaac: Like, omigawd! Chronically Depressed Isaac, can I put a ribbon in your hair?  
Chronically Depressed Isaac: Is it sunny under this tree?  
Somewhat Content Isaac: Ah, that gnarled tree is starting to wear my nerves a little thin. I think I'll go sit beside that nearly crystal clear lake.  
Little Link: ...get these freaks away from me.  
Spoonz: Nah. They're here to stay, until I take up a new video game obsession.  
Little Link: So... I've got until Christmas?  
Spoonz: Or longer, depending on if I get something other than Sims2 Nightlife and a few other trivialities.  
Little Link: ...I'm doomed. And so is your fanfiction.  
Spoonz: Why?  
Little Link: It'll all be Golden Sun-ified, just like your computer.  
Spoonz: -shrug- All things will pass with time. Though I AM curious to see where this Tayler character goes.  
Little Link: -warily eyes the assorted Isaacs arguing with each other- Why is the almost-happy guy beating up the guy with mental issues?  
Spoonz: Are they at it AGAIN! DARN THEM ALL!

**My Response is: Okay, one word: Magmashipping.**

RoyalFanatic writes: Yay! New smasher!  
Bowser: Where did she come from? All I know is that some mysterious person wants to be a smasher.  
Ignoring you, B-man...  
Anyways, update soon!

**My Response is: OC is Original Character.**

Mullenium Master writes: Whoa, where did the newbie stuff come from? Are you outta ideas? Didn't you say that Y. Link's b-day was gonna be in this month? Why not get to that?

Ya, I made Ezlo become my hat now. MWA-HA-HA! I'M AS EVIL AS VAATI!

...No I'm not actually, I'm just bored.

You got oral surgery? OUCH! I pity you!

**My Response is: Just don't tell the Ferret.**

Joebthegreat writes: OOH!

Y stands for young! and young people tend to be around 57 years old... and L stands for Link! and there are links in a hookshot... and only Link has a hook shot!

but wouldnt that meand YL stands for adult Link?

hmm... I need to go study up on the proporties of YL... I think there's a high school course I could take on it...

ANYWAY!

I hate that new girl... I keep thinking she's gonna kill everyone and everything alive in this... area...

she may even kill you!

**My Response is: U n00b, 57 is Senior Citizen.**

Silver Ferret writes: SF:Navi is Ivan backwards...IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! AHH! WE'RE ALL GONNA DIE!  
Felix(Golden Sun):Umm...Ivan? Wind Adept?  
SF:NO! EVIL MEAT-SHEILD PERSON IN NUM'S SWORD OF MANA GAME!  
Felix:...oh...  
SF:Vaati-kun, rescue me...(huggles)  
Vaati:S.O.V.-Save Our Vaati. Save ME!(teleports)  
SF:Fewix?  
Felix:...(runs)  
SF:All alone. Sigh. YL got beat by a newbie! Hehe...  
YL:(scowls)  
SF:Tchuss!(Bye!)-German again, don't ask-

**My Response is: Yeah, yeah, we know.**

Hylian Dragoness writes: Cool, an original character will add new dimensions to the fic. Plus someone for Y.L. to share experiences with.

I can't wait to see how this friendship develop's. Good luck.

**My response is: Okee dokee then!**

Razzkat writes: Lol, Tayler is pretty spiffy... o, maybe she and YL will fall in lov--  
YL: NUH-UH! THAT WILL NEVER, EVER HAPPEN! Numdenu would never do that to me...  
Aw man...fine then...good chapter! I really look forward to the next one!

**My Response is: Can't ever be too sure… -wink wink-**

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I'm sorry, I've been…busy,

YL: Lazy,

Tired,

YL: Writer's Block'd

And sick. In fact, right now I have a fever.

YL: Get away from me.

Yeesh! Scaredy cat.


	23. Christmas Weirdness

Ayayayay…it's been soooo long! I've been drawing, gaming, and reading this book of ridiculous headlines from actual newspapers. But it's funny! Now, lessee…"Dead Man Found In Cemetery"…"Young Bunglers Try To Steal A Van Filled With Policemen"…oh! Hey! This officer's last name is Link!

How ironic, considering the star of the story….

YL: He doesn't have permission!

Hey, last year, I had a classmate with that same last name. Think they're related?

YL: No fair…

And "Young" is a common last name…weirdness!

YL: Well, "Young" is generally an adjective…and if I had it my way, I'd just be Link.

You got that in MC: DD

YL: No I don't! Wrong Link!

Forget about it! Time to start!

YL: Ummm…reviews?

I'm answering reviews via E-Mail now!

YL: Oh.

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Young Link strolled through the halls of the Smash Mansion. He continued this for some time, and eventually decided to wander to the arena because this was the day Tayler would have to complete the Event Match.

As Young Link approached the arena, he saw the Event Match had already started. It was an all-out fight between her, Samus, and Fox. On the giant overhead screen, white letters flashed "Scenario: Gunner's Gauntlet." Master Hand always thought up creative names…not.

Meanwhile, Tayler mopped the floor with her opponents and won, hands down. Of course, the clock said the mayhem had been going on for quite a while, but still….

Anyways, the three stepped out of the arena, and many applauded for Tayler. She flashed a cheeky grin, then sauntered off. Samus and Fox groaned as they were swarmed by comforters and insulters alike. Young Link took no part in this, and instead wandered down a different hallway.

All was peaceful in Young Link's world until he stumbled upon Numdenu setting up a Christmas tree. She was in a nicer dress than she usually wore.

Before the Hylian could run, the Authoress noticed him and flew down, chanting the words for "Deck the Halls."

"Ok, Num, I get it! Can you please leave me alone now?" he pleaded.

Num took no hint, and instead began singing, "Jingle Bells, Malon smells!"

Young Link blinked. "…Random…"

The Authoress continued her song. "…Medli laid an egg!"

Young Link backed away slowly.

"Vaati thinks that YL stinks!"

He stopped, a sudden rage burning in his eyes. That last line just went too far!

"And Epona…uhhh…YL? Are you ok?

Young Link snarled like an inhuman beast, then produced a hammer out of thin air and chased Num around with it.

You know what that looks like. I mean, you should!

Anyways, that went on until Tayler stepped in and asked, "Hey, where's the bathroom?"

The action froze. Then Numdenu circled Tayler chanting the words to "O Christmas Tree." Tayler looked genuinely scared.

Finally, the newbie stammered, "Wh-what's with the tree?"

Numdenu stared at the girl like she was crazy, and Young Link gaped, and said, "It's a Christmas tree! Don't you know what Christmas is?"

Tayler shook her head to indicate she was clueless.

"Christmas! You know, Santa, presents, cookies, that holiday smell, caroling, mistletoe, holiday specials, baby Jesus, fanfiction, presents, things flying through the air, sitting by the fireplace, snow days, stuff, flash movies, special discounts, candy canes, presents, Pepsi, EverQuest, almonds…" Young Link ranted.

Tayler again shook her head, and both Young Link and Num stared at her with the infamous chat eyes.

"…You don't know what Christmas is?" Numdenu stammered.

"No," came Tayler's reply.

"I'll…uhhh…be right back." Numdenu took off down the hallway.

So Hylian and newbie continued to stare at each other, until Young Link burst out, "WHADDYA MEAN YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT CHRISTMAS IS?"

Tayler simply replied, "I don't know what it is. I mean what I said! Anything wrong with that?"

Young Link shook his head. "No, not really, jus that-"

He was cut off by Numdenu reappearing with mistletoe at the end of a pole, which she extended over him and Tayler.

"NUM PUT THAT AWAY!"

Numdenu mockingly waved it over their heads. "Not until you do it!"

"Oh…doo…" Young Link muttered.

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YL: You made me WHAT?

Read for yourself.

YL: I loathe you.

Who cares?

(-YL takes out hammer again-)

Oh no…uhhh…no, please…HAVE MERCY, YOUNG REINCARNATION OF THE HERO!


	24. Tartarus Project

Dude, it's been awhile.

YL: YES! FINALLY! MY TURN FOR UPDATEDNESS!

Chibi Link: Calm down, geez.

YL: O.o Chibi?

He's gonna be a muse soon.

YL: Oooh…torture.

Whatever. FLUFF TIME!

Chibi Link: W00tness!

YL: OH TEH NOEZ!

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"Oooh! A garden!" squealed the two princesses before running off to check it out…and coming back disappointed that it wasn't big enough.

And then Young Link, being adventurous, went ahead and checked it out. It was small, but beautiful. Not castle garden beautiful, but pleasant nonetheless. He looked around and waited for someone to appear out of thin air.

Nobody appeared. But someone _did _follow him into the garden, and she was standing right behind him….

"Tayler?"

"Hey," she responded.

"Errr…"

"Guess what I saved from Christmas?"

Tayler produced a sprig of…mistletoe…from her pocket.

"T-Tayler? You aren't…are…you?" Young Link stuttered.

Tayler smiled sweetly and dangled the mistletoe over his head. "Come on; it was fun!"

Young Link rolled his eyes. "Fine…."

And so they…-giggle-…kissed. Or they were about to, but were interrupted by a rather large and rather close explosion. And there was a hole in the wall that had not been there before, apparently caused by the explosion, because smoke was coming from it. A strange insectoid figure stood holding an exotic-looking weapon and wearing armor made of strange metallic black material.

The figure spoke in a rasping voice: "Tartarus Project Alpha—we've come for you now." When it said this, more similar figures showed themselves. One fired its strange weapon at the two, and Tayler leapt out of the way with unnatural agility. That left Young Link to take the hit, which stung like a taser.

"You dimwit!" yelled the creature beside the one that had fired. "That's not Tartarus Project Alpha! That's…errr…well, my system says Hylian, whatever the Blorp that is."

Young Link, paralyzed by the shock of the projectile, could only watch as the alien squad fired at Tayler, with her striking back ferociously. The furious battle lasted for what seemed eternity before Tayler suffered a hit…and the strange weapon began to change her….

Her eyes became a pale, clear blue, and the rest of her body turned silver, the metallic sheen almost overwhelming. Her fingers elongated into tendril-like appendages, and instead of legs was a skirt of gracefully flowing tentacles. She collapsed in a heap, her silver hair covering her face.

The alien creatures then captured her in a sort of net, and dragged her back the way they came. The last one to leave, however, fired another shot at Young Link, and the shock caused him to fall face first onto the ground.

Everything began fading into black…

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"Hey, wake up, sleepyhead. You gotta save your girlfriend.

A sharp kick in the side.

"I said _wake up!_ Aren't you listening?"

Young Link groaned and lifted his head from the floor, then shot up at the sight of who was talking to him.

"Shadow? B-but…how did you-?"

"Duh," Shadow chuckled, "I came from the shadows. Thought you might like some help."

Young Link nodded and pulled himself to his feet. "What happened?"

"Bugboys stole Tayler. They're gonna be taking off soon, though. I suggest you save her while you can. Oh, and it turns out she's they're science experiment. Tartarus Project Alpha, though why Tartarus I have no clue."

"Right. Then I'll go save her!"

"Woah!" Shadow grabbed Young Link's arm to prevent him from rushing off. "You're in no condition to save anyone…not alone, you aren't." A grin spread across his face.

Young Link grinned back. "Let's go."

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YL: WTF?

CL: Haha, this should be good.

WOOT! Battle-ness!

Ness: You called?

No, but stay there; you'll make an appearance too.

Ness: YAY!

Shadow: Mwuahahahahaha! I have returned!

YL: So you have.

CL: -plays random Golden Sun music-

…Right. Now, REVIEW! AND MAKE ME HAPPY!


	25. Lame Rescue Mission

I shall betray the foreshadowing of last chapter by making this one…FUNNAY!

YL: One part of me says, "Groan." The other part says, "Thank goodness."

Chibi Link (CL): Oh Yayness/Jeez.

YL: O.O Chibi?

CL: Yes, it is I Chibi Link, THE MUSE!

YL: Muse…? Oh Nuuuuuuumdeeenuuuuuu….. -, -,

-.- Oh, by the way, to whoever asked, THE ALIEN said, "Blorp," NOT Young Link! And second—

Greek Mythology: Tartarus is the deepest pit in the underworld.

Isaac: -.- Just start the ((BEEPING)) chapter!

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Young Link and Shadow sprinted through the Smash Mansion, searching desperately for a glimpse of the alien craft. Finally, Shadow stopped dead in his tracks. He saw it.

"If Flounder Ounces Untie Noobish Dittos, I Talk!" he shouted cryptically.

This took Young Link a moment. First he had to ponder, then he had to scroll back up and pay attention to the capitalization, then ponder some more. This took a few minutes, but as soon as he figured it out, he sprinted in direction the message came from.

He was almost too late.

"What took you? Am I too cryptic for you?" Shadow grinned, brandishing his sword.

Young Link drew his weapon silently, and the two charged out to the ship, which was now roaring and lifting off the ground.

As the boys ran, all hope seemed lost, until a familiar cry, followed by a jolt to the ship, effectively shutting it down: "PK FLASH!"

Young Link looked over his shoulder at the newcomer. "NESS!"

"Hey, whatever you're doing, I wanna help too!"

The hatch of the ship opened, and the insectoid aliens swarmed out, weapons at the ready. They fired, the heroes charged, and the battle began.

Hmmm…we got three heroes versus a seemingly endless horde of bug aliens. Who will win?

"HAMBURGERS!" blurted The Neopets Team.

"BUSH!" screamed Yunsung.

"ME!" roared Saturos.

"I vote hamburgers," Chibi Link sighed.

So it was decided: the hamburgers would win. And they did, appearing and disappearing mysteriously, leaving behind the carnage that was once three heroes and a seemingly endless horde of bug aliens.

One alien stood up unscathed by the onslaught of hamburgers and was instantly shot with a fire arrow, courtesy of the main character. Young Link inspected a minor wound on his shoulder, asking, "You okay Ness?" as he did so.

Ness stood up. "Yeah, I'm not hurt, except for a scraped knee."

Young Link stopped inspecting his wound and looked for Shadow, finding him sprawled out on the ground in a freakish posture. He didn't look that okay. At the slightest worried nudge, however, he shot up, the only wounds showing a minor facial scar…and a shoulder wound identical to Young Link's.

They stared at each other, until Ness popped in with, "Oh, I get it! Shadow is pretty much just that—a living shadow. Whatever happens to Young Link happens to Shadow, and vice versa."

Young Link and Shadow shrugged in unison, and the three made their way onto the ship.

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---INTERMISSION---

Chibi Link blinked. "Intermission?"

"Yes, intermission. The group's still moving, though," Numdenu explained. "You see, right now random boring stuff is occurring, stuff I do not wish to type."

The Authoress then presented a giant diagram. "This is what I've heard about the new Super Smash Bros. for the Nintendo Revolution:

"It will have Wi-Fi connection.

"Vaati will be on it.

"You will still, apparently, be able to whack people with giant hammers.

"And Golden Sun will be featured."

"Golden Sun?" Chibi Link stared with disbelief.

"Yes," continued the Authoress, "And Roy's dad might be there."

Roy groaned. "Not _him_!"

Numdenu continued, "A site also has an old news article about it that says Pokemon are MIA."

"Mia is a Pokemon?" a confused Chibi Link asked.

"No, MIA stands for Missing In Action."

Roy sighed. "Can we just watch aliens getting whooped by little kids already?"

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Another insectoid alien crashed to the floor, and Ness smiled triumphantly. All the poor guy got were sarcastic claps from his companions.

Then another alive entered, wielding a dancer's veil. It raised it arms to the sky, and shouted something…strange. "My comrades have fallen! My wraith shall rise! HYAAAAAA! REVENGE OF THE TETHYS!" It charged toward our heroes and rammed into the shields of Young Link and Shadow, quickly falling over.

"Okay…weird…" Ness commented.

More silence.

Shadow pointed to a sign that said "BOSS BATTLE" in fancy font.

"Well, I guess this is it," Ness sighed.

"Good luck, all," Young Link said, taking a deep breath and leading the way.

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CL: LAME-O!

Isaac: SWEET! I'LL BE IN THE NEXT SSB!

CL: That's what is suspected. No one can be totally sure.

Num: Oh well, here, look at this. H t t p / w w w . smashbrothersonline . com / CharacterPages / characterselect . html

CL: Take out the spaces.

Adult Link: Roy's dad? I don't see him….

Num: OMIGOD! ELIWOOD VANISHED!


	26. Boss: Queen Klikinikakon

MY MOTHER IS DITCHING EARTHLINK! REJOICE!

CL: W00t!

YL: It's about time!

In completely unrelated news, if Jenna is featured in the third SSB, my worst fear will be some n00b trying out "Pyroshipping."

Master Hand: NO! Don't give the readers any ideas!

Whoops…uhhh…sentient meat anyone?

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A pair of massive double doors swung open to a chamber bathed completely in shadow. Inside, it was stuffy, and one could feel the breathing of…something…that dominated the room.

Shadow entered the room, and his boot stuck fast in a sticky substance that coated the floor. Young Link entered much more cautiously, tiptoeing between the globs on the floor. He nocked a fire arrow to his bow and pointed it around the room, the small flame shedding a meager cone of light. Ness was last, following where young Link walked to the exact step, for fear of being stuck.

Without warning, lights overhead flickered to life, shedding their blinding namesakes on the shadows cloaking the chamber. All three boys gasped at the horrible abomination before them…the thing that looked like a grub with intelligent, cold eyes.

"What have we here?" asked the monstrosity as it bent down to inspect the three. "Sentient meat! I've heard of such things! Delicious indeed!" It snarled hungrily and cackled. "Before I begin, let me introduce myself. I am Klikinikakon, the Queen of this fleet. Now close your eyes, and it will be all over very quick, little meats!"

"Guys?" Ness gulped, "I think this is the boss battle…."

Numdenu decided to insert the Van Helsing Theme here for some reason.

Klikinikakon reared up and lunged at Shadow, deterred only by the force field Ness raised. A fire arrow pierced her side as the Queen jerked away from the force field and came straight at the heroes….

Num sucks at epic battles. So while the heroes are fighting the evil Queen Klikinikakon, let's see what's up with the other Smashers!

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"MINI-ME!" Link called desperately. "MINI-ME! WHERE ARE YOU!"

The intercom speakers buzzed to life. "Attention all Smashers! There is an alien spacecraft parked outside the main entrance! Would the owner please remove the vehicle and park it somewhere else?"

Everyone was puzzled. Nobody owned an alien spacecraft! The Smashers questioned each other, their combined chatter rising to a deafening roar, with Link calling for his younger self amidst the chaos.

Then Num got bored and decided to post how to pronounce Klikinikakon: Klick-in-ick-a-kon. Five syllables. Num also declared that she is currently sucking on a Ricola.

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The epic battle had been dragging on for an hour now, and the setting had changed dramatically. The adhesive goo had dried, leaving the floor looking like it had been newly waxed. Klikinikakon had hundreds of arrows protruding from her grublike body, and two in her left eye. Shadow and Young Link were taking their last stand, clutching their swords so tightly that even Shadow's knuckles were white. Ness was sprawled in a corner, unconscious.

The Queen reared up again, prepared to strike down the duo, when crashing and banging came from immediately outside the chamber door. All three turned to face the door as the outline of an insectoid alien thrust against it penetrated through the metal. Six tendrils reached through a gap and started to rip the door open, to reveal…Tayler!

"Tartarus Project Alpha!" Klikinikakon roared. "What are you doing!"

Tayler smirked. "Saving my friend." With that, she vaulted through the hole, hovering a hair's width above the ground, her tendrils moving almost on their own accord. Two reached and grabbed a pistol each, aimed, and fired straight at the Queen's eye, effectively blinding her.

Klikinikakon thrashed wildly as Tayler fired relentlessly, leaving Young Link and Shadow shell-shocked. It was sheer luck that they had the presence of mind to back up out of harm's way when the Queen toppled over for the last time.

Tayler sighed. "And with that, it's over."

Shadow remained silent, but Young Link ran right towards Tayler and skidded to a halt in front of her. "Tayler! You're okay!"

"Of course I am! What, you thought I'd get hurt?" Tayler smiled. The two of them stood there staring at each other, saying nothing.

Tayler broke the silence. "Sorry I played such a big charade, making everyone think I was just a girl with two guns. It's…not who I am. I was hiding. And I shouldn't have." She let her sentence trail off as she stared at the floor.

"It's okay. I'm not sure about the others, but I don't mind." Young Link lifted her chin so she was looking right at him.

And all at once, he kissed her smack on the lips.

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KAWAII!

CL: Ha-ha. YL kissed an alien science project.

BUT IT'S KAWAII!

CL: Guess what "Pyroshipping" is and you get a 50 percent off coupon at Madame Mia's Hair Removal Votive Candle Service.

Hey! CL, gimme back my MAD Magazine!


	27. Pointless Authoress Abuse

CL: BEHOLD! The Authoress has angered the Beast!

(-Num is tied up to a very large pole-)

Num: Chibi Link! What's going on? Who's typing? Why does this look like a sacrificial scene—uh oh... You aren't planning on...?

Isaac: Don't worry; Arthur Dent's typing right now. (-Isaac begins beating large drum-)

Num: This is INSANE! More so than my own mind, even! What "beast" are you even sacrificing me to?

CL: See that gate?

Num: Who couldn't? Wait...are we acting out the newest remake of King Kong or something?

CL: No, not King Kong.

(-Sound of monstrous roaring from behind gate-)

CL: It is time! Offer your prayers so that the Beast will spare the rest of us! Eeeny Ooony Wanah! Eeeny Ooony Wanah!

Isaac and CL: EEENY OOONY WANAH! EEENY OOONY WANAH!

Num: Hey wait; the slugs were chanting that in that one Far Side cartoon! What, are you sacrificing me to a salt shaker or something?

Isaac and CL: EEENY OOONY WANAH! EEENY OOONY WANAH!

No, it's not a salt shaker.

Num: Arthur? HELP MEEEEEE!

Isaac and CL: NON SEQUITUR!

(-Gates open to reveal... YL playing a recording of random monstrous sounds-)

Num: Young Link...why? Why? WHY AM I BEING SACRIFICED TO A KID!

YL: First, you whisk away my BEST FRIEND and dismiss him as a used plot idea, and now you do the same with my GIRLFRIEND! You, Numdenu, must PAY! ARTHUR! THE KEYBOARD!

Num: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

(-Scene fades-)

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When Numdenu awakened, the first thing she saw was darkness. Then she realized she hadn't opened her eyes yet. So she did so...and saw Hyrule Temple. The first thing she remembered was the "sacrifice" to appease the main character. It was then that she vowed that Chibi Link would pay very dearly...

And that's when a Re-Dead spawned and attacked.

"Wand," Num said casually. Nothing happened, thus she had to beat off the Re-Dead with her quill pen, which isn't really that effective. In fact, she had to resort to running like a little chicken.

Too bad, because Yoshi likes chicken.

Yoshi ate Num, then Kirby, because Kirby likes food and an egg is technically food. He spit the Authoress back out, of course, to be attacked by a mosquito. An EVIL MOSQUITO!

As a last ditch effort to deter the bug, Num hid behind Ganondorf. BAD move; she got a nice dozen Warlock Punches before everything pretty much vanished, leaving the Authoress in an empty hallway.

Several hours later, Link (the adult one) happened to see Num and tried to shake her awake.

"_Etanutrof ro yppah rof Nital si Xilef,"_ she murmured cryptically. Link shook her again. "Yes, I typed my essay," was the response. Link grinned. These rantings were quite amusing...

"PYROMANIAC RANGER LOOKING FOR GROUP!" "Naw, Pepsi is better." "Oh! There's that treasure I missed!" "Dang, this Oblivion place is scary..." Link continued to shake Num. "Oh my God, Eliwood disappeared!" "Haha, that's what you get for pulling a Link next to that guard!" Link was puzzled at this comment and thus left to ponder it, forgetting all about the rant-generating girl lying face down in the hallway, murmuring, "I swear that Italian singer dude said Sora..."

And then the Wookies came. They came in droves, trampling Num in their fervent race down the hallway. "Da da da da da..." murmured Num, stuck on the same note. Slime fell on her, and all she did was murmur something about Silver Ferret being sentimental about video games.

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"Hey Num, you can wake up now." The Authoress felt herself being prodded by a particularly sharp blade. She stirred and fluttered her eyelids before trying to brutally slaughter her awakener.

"CHIBI YOU (censored-head)!"

"Woah! Watch the language!" Chibi Link jumped back and landed on his rear. "I come in peace!" He made the Vulcan Peace Sign, even.

"What do you want?"

"Geez, I'm just checking to see if you're okay!"

"You...wanted to check on me?"

"Of course! If nothing else, I want you to survive long enough to make a MC: DD Phoenix Edition! You promised you would!"

"Oh yeah..."

"Besides," said Chibi, helping Num up, "This job has its good moments."

Then the trapdoor they were standing on opened and dropped them to the floor below.

"Ewwww!" winced Num as she and her muse were dropped into a pit of sticky, lemon-lime stuff. "What is this?"

Chibi Linked controlled his gagging long enough to choke out, "It's...Sprite!"

Num lightened up instantly. "Sprite? Great! I haven't gotten my soda fix today!" With that she promptly slurped up the Sprite. However, there was one problem...THE SPRITE WAS REALLY DIET SPRITE! Thus, she threw up in a nice corner before drawing a vacuum cleaner and an interdimensional flower pot and vacuuming up the barf, then throwing it in the flower pot.

"Was that really necessary?"

"Yes."

"Oh, okay."

Silence.

"Hey, Chibi?"

"Yeah?"

"Are we gonna die in here?"

"'So kay. I'm staying in this job 'till the day you leave this site."

"...Really? You'd be there to make random comments while I'm reviewing an' stuff? To help introduce chapters?"

"Sure."

Tears welled up in Numdenu's eyes. "I never had many friends like you..."

Chibi Link grinned. "Hey, what are muses—scratch that, _friends_ for?"

Then did Authoress and Muse embrace for about five seconds, at which point Falco crashed his Arwing right on top of them.

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I have nothing to say right now.

Isaac: Review, or else you shall be sacrificed next to the great MAIN CHARACTER!

Num and CL: EEENY OOONY WANAH!


	28. To Satiate The Readers

This chapter exists for no other purpose than to satiate the readers while I work on the sacred…story that my muse has been psyched about. Go on. Just guess what it is.

(-Chibi Link is throwing a cocktail party in the background-)

! CL, you're not old enough to drink alcohol!

YL: Ripico pico Picori pi. Was that right?

Isaac: How am I supposed to know? I speak English, not…whatever that is.

YL: Well, you'll get the translation in today's short.

(-Vaati walks in nervously-)

Vaati: Pi pico Ripico Picori pico?

YL: Ri Ripico.

(-Vaati sighs in relief and leaves-)

CL: You aren't? Aww, c'mon!

YL: You can have the honors in your own fic.

(-CL grins evilly-)

Errmmm…let's start, shall we?

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Young Link passed a blonde woman in a blue suit sipping a latte in the lobby and did not recognize her. "Hey, how'd you get in here!"

The woman sighed. "It's just me, pipsqueak. Samus."

"Oh." Young Link stared at a textbook she was reading. "Wuzzat?"

"It's an English-Chozo dictionary. I'm trying to learn their language so I can speak it and utterly confuse people." Samus smirked a little.

Young Link stood proudly. "Well, I already know a foreign language! Want me to show you?"

"Is it Hylian?"

"Nope!" Young Link announced proudly. "Here, I'll show you." The boy cleared his throat and spoke: "Ripico pico Picori pi!"

**Crash!**

'Pi! Pico! Ripi Picori! Pi! Pi pico!" was heard as a figure in purple burst out of a hall closet and ran out of sight, leaving Samus to gawk and Young Link to cackle.

At last, Samus gathered the courage to ask, "What did you say?"

Young Link grinned. "I just threatened that guy with lemon juice. He can turn into a giant eyeball, see…. No pun intended."

"Ah. Hey, you hear about the new Smashers?" Samus opened up a laptop and went to a website with a black background. "Five of these characters have been confirmed. One is me without my power suit, which you're seeing right now." Samus clicked on a picture of Fierce Deity Link. "I think this may interest you. Read that." She pointed to the screen.

Young Link looked as he was told, and what he read made his heart skip a beat.

_Entrance: You see YL then he puts on the Fierce Deity Mask and transforms._

"Just thought you might want to know," Samus said, leaving the boy to gawk at the screen.

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Well, I don't know if this is still up there, but it's what I read last time I was there. It was a fan based site, but provided surprisingly accurate predictions. I think the only guy they were missing was Snake.

This was typed in record time. EVIL SHORTNESS!

YL: I certainly hope they're right about the Fierce Deity part! –grins evilly-

CL: If it is, then Farore save us all.

Well if the site's right, Isaac will be featured, too. And Jenna.

Isaac: BOOYAH! Now I can finally win her over!

YL: And I'll be elsewhere when that's going on.

And now the time is ripe for the long dead parody to rise again…MC:DD PHOENIX EDITION!

DDR: Everybody dance now!

(-Everybody dances-)


	29. Party Planning

I have been idealess for quite a while. A long while. I've just been thinkin' about different stories. But, the time of year has come again… Behold! The Three-day late ANNIVERSARY SPECIAL!

There will be a big party, combining the anniversary and my birthday. Review if you want an invitation.

CL: Yes, I will be there. And look out for the Spiky One.

Cloud: Who, me?

Isaac: No, me.

Tayler: We haven't had a disclaimer in awhile….

Who needs it? This is FAN fiction; no one owns anything! Besides, if the people want a disclaimer they can move their mouse over to that little chapter dropdown thingy and skip back to Chapter 1.

Shadow: Tayler and I will be there! And Num, you didn't think me up. Four Swords Adventures did.

Oops…I DO NOT OWN SHADOW! DON'T LISTEN TO THE PREVIOUS CHAPTERS! I REALLY DON'T OWN HIM! THAT WAS WRITTEN BEFORE I KNEW A DAMN THING ABOUT FSA!

Isaac: Shoosh! YL's coming!

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And yes, Young Link was walking down the halls…when he got pulled into the shadows. Yay. So unexciting.

"Mmmph!" mmmph'd Young Link.

"Chill, it's only me," the figure reassured as he revealed himself as Shadow. "Look, there's a party coming up, I mean a BIG party, with me and Num and the Spiky One and-"

Young Link groaned. "No. I'm not going to anymore of Num's (CENSORED-bad boy YL!) parties! They're too short and too insane!"

"Tayler's coming…."

"Where the hell is my invitation?"

"Dude, you're the main character. Just show up."

"You tell him, FSA dude!" exclaimed Numdenu appearing from nowhere.

Both the Links jumped back. "Gyah! Where did you come from?" they asked in unison.

Num rapped on Young Link's skull. "Duh, I'm a GHOST. Now, I need help party planning. Lessee…I'll invite Silver Ferret, Mullenium Master, Master Disaster, ummm…has anyone seen Uber Spoons in the past six months? Hmmm…Razzkat, Qwertumz, maybe Joebthegreat…oh, and anyone who says they want to come in their review. But please people, keep it single digit. Maybe I should contact OrpheumZero…he'll be thrilled to know MC: DD's up again…."

Young Link tapped his foot impatiently. "This isn't supposed to be your ranting time, Num. Wait until the end of the chapter, please!"

"Sheesh, tough crowd," grumbled Num. "Now…what should we have for fun? I've ordered five Gamecubes, with one of each of the other platforms. Oh, and we may be getting a Wii rented. Complete with Twilight Princess! I've also got board games, some SP's and DS's, three copies of Final Fantasy: Advent Children, Monty Python and the Holy Grail, popcorn, soda, diet soda (I think the regulars taste like cough syrup), Lon lon milk, water of course, pizza, crab legs-"

"Where's our say in what's going on?" questioned Shadow.

"I think better when I rant, but I don't want to look like an idiot ranting to myself. Rice, hamburgers, soft pretzels, cookies, ice cream from Coldstone, doughnuts, German chocolate cake…am I forgetting anything? Oh yeah, DDR and laptops! Okay, now who NOT to invite…you can help now."

"Captain Falcon!" chirped Young Link.

"Ganondorf! Leave him out!" cheered Shadow.

"Right, that plus Bush supporters, Navi, and Tatl. Okay, that's who not to invite. We need to keep it secret from them, okay? Especially the Bush Supporters; I'm a frickin' Democrat."

Young Link sighed impatiently. "Are we done yet?"

"Hold on; one more thing," Shadow said with a smirk before whispering Hylian stuff in Young Link's ear. From their facial expressions, Num could tell they were plotting.

"Okay, what are you two planning?"

Both boys smiled innocently. "Just sumpin' for the party!" they replied in sickeningly sweet singsong voices. They winked at each other. She must not know their plans.

Young Link whispered something back to Shadow, who nodded with a bigger smile. Num was getting rather annoyed at this, so she tried to grab them, but they dashed off, leaving her to trip on an ethereal tranquilizer….

_This can't be good_, she thought as the tranquilizer dart pierced her fairly normal skin….

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YL: Nuttin much this chapter….

Shadow: Now, what we were talking about was that we've decided to set up a "Whack-An-Authoress" booth at the party! Feel free to join in all the Num-bashing you can stand!

YL: But you can't tell Num!

Shadow: Reviews are appreciated.


	30. PARTAY!

Whoo! PARTAY!

YL and Shadow: We got almost everything together! (-evil grins at each other-)

I don't like this….

But I have nothing to say. Except I don't own the Llama Song.

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"Here's a llama, there's a llama, and another little llama, fuzzy llama, funny llama, llama, llama, duck!" Numdenu sang as she set up the final DDR station. "Llama, llama, cheesecake, llama, tablet, brick, potato, llama, llama, llama, mushroom, llama, llama, llama, duck!"

Young Link sighed. "Why are you so obsessed with the Llama Song!"

"Because it's random! I was once a treehouse, I lived in a cake, but I never saw the way the orange slayed the rake!"

DING DONG! Taking a page out of Mullenium Master's book…that was the doorbell.

Shadow opened the door which the bell belonged to, aka THE DOOR. "Qwertumz, Joeb, hey!"

"My Bush fanboy stuff was obliterated by a purple monkey…ANGST!" exclaimed Joeb. Qwertumz just quickly made her way over to one of the Gamecubes, eager to get away from the freak.

Numdenu raised an eyebrow. "Purple monkey? WTF?"

The Authoress' question was quickly answered by the next arrival: a ferret, the color of quicksilver, shouting, "VAATI! HERE BOY!"

"Oh shit," said the purple monkey before scampering off, Silver Ferret in hot pursuit.

KNOCK KNOCK! THE DOOR was knocked upon, and Shadow again answered. "Diana! Shouldn't you be writing your own fanfic?"

Diana smiled. "Different fanfic. Now lemme in!" She took off towards the Wii with her Plusle and Minun scampering after.

Pichu raced over, too. "What happened to Tael?"

"Tatl made him stay behind."

DING DONG

Shadow once again opened the door. "Regii, where'd you get that hat?"

"Closet. Now keep the contents away from any hamburgers."

A Munchlax's head popped out from the hat. "Hamburgers? Where?"

"Hey, move it!" someone shouted from behind.

Shadow turned around. "Num, who's this?"

"Errrmmm…" Num looked at the party list. "The Hero Of Times Descendent?"

Link looked particularly disturbed.

Shadow the Door Attendant at last deemed it okay to leave THE DOOR unattended and joined the throng of people.

"Hey, someone left the door open," said Isaac, just now entering. Shadow slapped his forehead and closed it behind the Adept as Num turned on the DVD player.

KNOCK KNOCK

Young Link opened it this time, and came face to face with….

"…Tayler?"

"Yup, I came." Tayler smiled sweetly. And the two just stared at each other, completely lost. They moved closer. Tayler stood on her tiptoes, and Young Link craned his neck down….

"WHOOT! KADAJ KICK ASS!" came the screams, completely ruining the moment.

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Next chapter, the festivities will continue! I'm thinking about three chapters. This isn't a major party like Mullenium Master's (Diana's).

YL: She'll prolly show tidbits from the gaming that will go on.

Isaac: Guys? We have a problem…the purple monkey stole the review button.

WHAAAAAAT?

Vaati the Purple Monkey: Make me give it back, I dare you.

(-Num turns her quill into a wand and starts charging up a silvery beam-)

Vaati: Meep! I'LL PUT IT BACK!

YL: Now click it before it disappears!


	31. And It Continues

Wahoo! My BIRTHDAY! YAYNESS!

CL and YL: JUST START!

Sheesh! Okay!

YL: Num doesn't own The Horoscope Song.

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"I'm late! I'm late! I'm late! Noez!" a girl yelped as she threw open the door to find everyone engrossed in their own activities.

Num turned around. "Violet-sama! Hey, how you doing?"

"I came, Num-chan!" Violet danced around happily.

"Hey, Final Fantasy: Advent Children is on! Wanna see, Vio-sama?"

Chibi Link whipped around. "WHO!"

"Errr…I gave her the nickname Vio…"

"That's technically me."

"Oops."

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"NO JUMP DAMN YOU MEWTWO!" Regii shouted at one copy of SSBM. "DAMN YOU! YOU GOT BEATEN BY A PICHU! I DON'T BELEVE IT!"

Diana turned to him. "Chill, dude."

"The cold does bad things to be."

"Well, calm down, at least!"

Diana, playing as Pichu, just pwned Regii, who was playing Mewtwo. Diana, however, got pwned by Qwertumz, playing Link, in turn. Qwertumz then made Link do his taunt.

"Excuse me?" said Roy, stepping up to a microphone. Everyone was doing their own thing. Of particular interest was the fight between Silver Ferret and Joeb. Joeb wanted to angst in front of the purple monkey, while the Ferret wanted to cuddle the same monkey, for she knew it to be Vaati.

"AHEM!" screamed Roy into the mike. Everyone turned to look. Kadaj and Cloud even peeked out of the TV to see what the ruckus was about.

Link stepped up to his own mike with a guitar. "We decided to sing another parody, this one written by Weird Al Yankovic!" he announced proudly.

Roy cleared his throat and stepped up to the mike. A nice little musical intro led into the song.

Link and Roy shouted in unison: "AQUARIUS!"

Roy sang now. "There's travel in the future when your tongue freezes to the back of a speeding bus! Fill that void in your pathetic life by playing Whack-A-  
Mole 17 hours a day."

"PISCES!"

"Try to avoid any Virgos or Leos with the Ebola virus  
You are the true Lord of the Dance, no matter what  
those idiots at work say."

"ARIES!"

"The look on your face will be priceless when you find  
that 40-pound watermelon in your colon  
Trade toothbrushes with an albino dwarf, then give a   
hickey to Meryl Streep."

"TAURUS!"

"You will never find true happiness - what you gonna  
do, cry about it?  
The stars predict tomorrow you'll wake up, do a bunch  
of stuff and then go back to sleep!

"That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today!"

"GEMINI!"

Link took over the mike now. "Your birthday party will be ruined once again by your   
explosive flatulence  
Your love life will run into trouble your fiance  
hurls a javelin through your chest."

"CANCER!"

"The position of Jupiter says that you should spend the  
rest of the week face down in the mud  
Try not to shove a roll of duct tape up your nose while  
taking your driver's test."

"LEO!"

"Now is not a good time to photocopy your butt and  
staple it to your boss's face, oh no  
Eat a bucket of tuna-flavored pudding, then wash it  
down with a gallon of strawberry Quik."

"VIRGO!"

"All Virgos are extremely friendly and intelligent -  
except for you  
Expect a big surprise today when you wind up with  
your head impaled upon a stick!

"That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today!"

Roy took over again and sang in one breath: "Now you may find it inconceivable or at the very least  
a bit unlikely that the relative position of the planets  
and the stars could have a special deep significance or   
meaning that exclusively applies to only you, but let  
me give you my assurance that these forecasts and  
predictions are all based on solid, scientific, documented  
evidence, so you would have to be some kind of  
moron not to realize that every single one of them is  
absolutely true.

"Where was I?"

"LIBRA!" both swordsmen shouted.

Again, it was Link's turn. "A big promotion is just around the corner for someone  
much more talented than you  
Laughter is the very best medicine, remember that  
when your appendix bursts next week."

"SCORPIO!"

"Get ready for an unexpected trip when you fall  
screaming from an open window  
Work a little bit harder on improving your  
low self esteem, you stupid freak."

"SAGITTARIUS!"

"All your friends are laughing behind your back...  
kill them  
Take down all those naked pictures of Ernest Borgnine  
you've got hanging in your den."

"CAPRICORN!"

"The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful  
person... but you know they're lying  
If I were you, I'd lock my doors and windows and never   
never never never never leave my house again!"

They both sang again. "That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today  
That's your horoscope for today!"

"Fin," finished Link in monotone. He waited for applause….

No one paid any attention. The song was too long.

"Hello?" asked Roy. "Is anyone-"

Numdenu looked furiously at her SP. "ERIKA YOU FRIGGIN WENCH I SWARE I WILL BITE YOUR HEAD OFF! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO STAY **ALIVE!**"

Roy sighed.

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Don't look at me like that. Fire Emblem: Sacred Stones is a good game. However, Erika dies too much.

Erika: Hey!

GET BACK IN YOUR BOX, WENCH!

CL: She wants you to review.

AND HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME!


	32. Party's Over

Okay, this is WAY late, but I have other things to dwell on. Namely a Self-Help for Writing Parodies story…if you can call it that…and my new discovery… FULLMETAL ALCHEMIST ANIME!

CL: But of course, you're obsessed. And you're going to bring in someone as a last-minute cameo. From Sacred Stones too, I'm betting.

-sighs- Ah, I'm just not obsessed like I used to be. I constantly get the urge to write, but I can't decide on what. And nobody's updating…especially not Spoonz. Nope nope, Spoonz is dead. Mebbe I should send her corpse a PM.

YL: ENOUGH ALREADY!

Yes, yes, I shall start the fic, O Great One Who Has Yet To Turn Twelve.

YL: Remember…November 15! THAT'S when I'll be twelve!

Sigh…and when you get too old, we'll have to stick you in the Temple of Time until you're…oh, hows about 15?

YL: But it's the Life and Times of YOUNG Link!

So? It can have a sequel! (-many a gasp is heard-) Heh…heheh…heeheehee…BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

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KNOCK KNOCK!

Shadow sighed. "Num, you invited last minute guests, didn't you?"

Before anyone could respond, the door was bust down by a noble lady with turquoise hair. "TELL ME TO STOP DYING, EH?" she shouted enraged-ly.

"Oh shit…" whimpered Num, "it's Eirika! RUN! SHE HAS SEIGLINDE!"

Marth raised an eyebrow. "Seiglinde? What's that?"

"A sacred sword," said Num from under a table. This, however, gave her away to the murderous Eirika, who proceeded to chase our beloved (or not so) Authoress around whilst brandishing the aforementioned sword.

Another figure timidly poked his head into the doorway, watching the chaos. The figure was rather peculiar—nothing but a suit of armor. He spoke in the voice of a young boy: "Is it safe to come in?"

Everyone looked, even Eirika and Num, frozen mid chase. Num quickly got out of the awkward position and grinned. "Don't worry Al, you'll be fine."

"What kind of a name is Al?" snickered Shadow.

Young Link sighed. "It's short for Alphonse. And believe me, Num rants about it all the time since she saw the first two DVDs of the anime."

Al sighed and dragged himself in, sitting with those who were watching Advent Children for the second time.

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So, yes, the last-minute guests had arrived and were busily doing their own thing. Until, of course….

Num was alone by the snack bar when the two struck. The knocked her out and tied her up…and when she awoke….

"Welcome, one and all, to this party's EXCLUSIVE Whack-An-Authoress Contest!" announced young Link as the drowsy Authoress regained her senses. "The person who can hit her the hardest upside the noggin will WIN a T-Shirt, a plushie of whatever character you choose, AND Bragging Rights! So don't be shy! Step Riiiiiiiiiight Up!"

"Huh?" the Authoress huh'd. "What the- YOUNG LINK I SWEAR I AM GOING TO SKIN YOU ALIVE, STAB OUT YOUR LUNGS, AND MAKE A LEATHER CURIASS OUT OF YOUR HIDE FOR MY CHARACTER ON EVERQUEST 2!"

"Ah, but what of Shadow?"

"HE'S IN ON THIS TOO?"

"Yup."

"I SWEAR I'M GONNA- OW! Hey, don't hit me!" Num whined as the first person took their turn.

Later….

"And the winner is…well, hey, wouldjya look at that! The winner is…VAATI!" shouted a peppy Shadow. "Vaati, here's your shirt, the Bragging Rights are abstract, and what character would you like a plushie of, sir?"

"Tetra, please," the sorcerer replied simply.

"Craaaaaaaaack Pairing!" taunted Num in a sing-song voice.

Young Link was still laughing hard at the wonderful author torture that had occurred.

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Ow…you better hope I don't develop amnesia! Or else there's NEVER gonna be another chapter until PAST your B-Day!

YL: There better be…or I'll…remind you…. –evil grin-

Yawn…well, that was fun…so…what should I do next?

YL: Get ready for the onslaught of SSBB characters?

Good idea. Hope there's someone in there from Golden Sun! Whoot!

YL: And I know you're secretly hoping for Sacred Stones, too.

Well…yes. -.-

Zelda: Reviews are appreciated, as always.

**AND THANKS FOR THE 200 REVIEWS, ALL!**


	33. Return of the Ten Four

Well, it's that time of year again, isn't it?

CL: The time of year when…the curse? Oh, shit.

Al: Curse? Okay, I wasn't here for this.

Somebody drove me bonkers on Neopets by saying 10/4 over and over. And since that's a date, and I'm still scarred, I've been cursed.

Al: Oh, I see. Bummer.

CL: It's fun to watch, though.

…Hey, I just realized something.

CL: Oh?

What's Adult Link's abbreviated name?

CL: Abbreviated, he's AL. Why?

Al: GASPETH!

CL: What? I don't get it.

Al is spelled A-L. A for Adult, L for Link. DUH.

CL: So Alphonse Elric is really…?

No, it's just a funny coincidence.

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"Hmmm…October fourth…why do I get the feeling something's gonna go wrong today?" Young Link sighed as he looked upon his calendar. And his feeling was right.

"AIEEEEEEEE! IT'S TEN FOUR! LEAVE ME BE!" Num wailed as she zipped through the wall and froze…in an awkward position: she had gone partway through Young Link, and due to the angle she was flying at, a certain area of her upper chest was passing through the poor boy's face.

Young Link quickly backed away, recoiling in disgust. "Oh sweet Goddesses, I did _not_ just see that!"

Num blinked before realizing what he was talking about, then shrieked even louder then before and whizzed off in the other direction.

"…Dammit, I hate it when my gut feeling is right," sighed Young Link after he had recovered. So he decided to go play Dirge of Cerberus. Why? Don't ask. He just did.

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Samus groaned. "Fox, what are you trying to do?"

"A pull-up."

"Maybe you should bend your arms instead of trying to kick your legs wildly."

Fox tried her suggestion. "Oh, I see! Hey, I can do lotsa these!"

A teen garbed in white and with two feathery wings sprouting from his back poked his head in. "Excuse me, but where are the dorms?"

Fox grinned as he did another pull-up. "Hey, it's one of them new Brawl characters! Welcome! What's your name, anyway?"

The teen blinked. "Ummm…Pit."

Silence.

"So…" Pit tried to ask again, "where are the-"

"GWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Fox burst out laughing, losing his grip on the pull-up bar. "PIT! Hah! My god, that name is so…FUNNY!"

"You said the same thing about the older Link, remember," Samus reminded. "Then he whooped your ass exceptionally well."

Fox shut up instantly.

"So…" Pit tried again, "where are-"

"HIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII guys!" Roy burst in with an idiotic grin on his face.

Samus sighed. "What do you want, you flaming idiot?"

"I'm looking for my MP3 player!" Roy chirped happily. "It has lotsa cool J-Pop on there!"

A quiet voice came from the closet. "J-Pop, huh? I like Gackt."

"L'Arc-en-Ciel's better," said someone else in a hushed tone.

"No, Gackt pwns."

"L'Arc-en-Ciel!"

"Gackt!"

"L'Arc-en-Ciel!" The argument was starting to get a little loud.

"Gackt!"

"L'Arc-en-Ciel!"

"GACKT!"

"L'ARC-EN-CIEL!"

Fox opened the closet. "What the…?"

"DUDE!" Roy shouted. "A Link clone!"

"Whose armor is that?" Samus asked.

Chibi Link's eyes wandered around. "Exit stage left?"

"Exit stage left," Alphonse agreed. And then they both disappeared through a plothole.

Pit blinked. "Is it always like this?"

"No, but today is cursed," came someone's voice from behind.

Everyone spun around expecting some supervillain or boss, but sighed collectively when they saw the speaker was only Young Link. "Believe me; something…wrong…has already happened."

Samus raised an eyebrow. "Explain?"

"Can't. I might be traumatized if I think about it too much."

Pit sighed. "For the umpteenth time, WHERE ARE THE DORMS!"

Roy pointed, still grinning like an idiot, and Pit followed his finger to where Young Link had come in. "Oh, thanks." With that, the angel left.

Before awkward silence could commence, however, a note fell off the ceiling….

I, Numdenu, do not own SSBM, the Smashers, or any cameos. The only thing I really do own is all those little monsters, and pwn would be a better word in that sense.

On a completely different note: I FINALLY BEAT SILVER FERRET ONE ON ONE! TAKE THAT, MARTH! HA! YOU GOT OWN3E BY A LITTLE KID (in white!)!

"A…disclaimer?" Fox gaped.

"I like pizza!" Roy chirped randomly, before a Draco Zombie came out of the wall and bit his arm off. "Hey, that hurt, you bastard!"

Samus groaned. "Great. What now?" Her question was quickly answered when Roy turned into a dragon and began to battle the Draco Zombie, the conflict effectively trashing the mansion.

"What the…" Fox stared up after the dragon Roy. "How the hell…?"

Young Link shrugged. "Blame Ninian."

"Hey," Samus said, rubbing her chin thoughtfully, "Ninian's a dragon, right?" Fox and Young Link nodded. "And…don't dragons lay eggs?"

Fox was utterly befuddled, but Young Link cracked up. "So…haha…you're saying that…heeheehee…Roy…hatched!"

"It's a thought…."

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Not too hexed, except for the utter lack of sanity in a more extreme way then usual. I guess that's a good thing.

And yes, I finally DID beat Silver Ferret one-on-one. She was playing Marth, her best character, in his normal color outfit, and my character, garbed in a white tunic, was… (-pokes fanfic title-). It was pretty intense, at least for a couple of amateurs who didn't give a damn about the shield or dodging and couldn't wavedash to save their lives, and I forget what stage it was on, but after an epic battle of aerial attacks and Up+B maneuvering, I WON! It wasn't total pwnage, but rather a close match. Still, I'm very proud of myself, considering she owns the game and I don't.

(-collective gasp is heard-)

What? I got most, if not all, of my info right, no? I'm just proof this story isn't hard to write about. Besides, I've played it enough at SF's house.

But enough about that! Now then….

**Will Young Link be traumatized by that completely wrong moment mentioned earlier?**

**Why did Pit get into the Smash Mansion early?**

**Did Roy really hatch from an egg?**

**All this and more in the chapter(s) to come in…_The Life and Times of-_**

YL: Goddessesdammit, they KNOW the fanfic title already!


	34. Lame Update

Well, hello all...

CL: About time this got updated. It's not s'posed to die, remember?

Yea, yes. That is why I write fast. Or sorta fast.

CL: And the random comment for today is...?

My new forum. JOIN THE GOPWTFRTEE TODAY!

CL: ... GOPWTFRTEE??? What on earth...?

...I CAN PERFORM PRIMITIVE WAVEDASHING! HUZZAH!!!

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"Why, hello Nana!" Peach smiled cheekily.

Nana grinned back. "Hello, Peach! Pleasant day, no?"

A crash was heard as a Draco Zombie burst through the roof and into the sky.

"Why Nana," exclaimed Peach, "Is that not a Draco Zombie?"

"Yes Peach," replied Nana, "I do believe it is."

Roy crashed after in his dragon form, spewing flame. Well, no wonder he's a pyro! He breathes the stuff!

"Oh, Peach!" Nana pointed up. "Is that not Roy in his dragon form?"

Peach looked up. "Well, I do believe it is, Nana!"

They both screamed.

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A completely different cry echoed through the halls, drowning out the girls' screams... "TWILIGHT PRINCESS, BABY! WHOOOOOOT!!!"

Num cried out in triumph, completely ignoring the clutter being thrown at her. "TP for the WIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!!!!!" She floated over to Adult Link. "OOH! Turn into a wolfie!"

Adult Link sighed and turned into a Zora.

"Aww, c'mon, you did that in Majora's Mask. DO THE WOLFIE!!!"

Adult Link became a fairy, and Num zipped away screaming. Laughing, he pulled off the mask, thus removing the disguise of a glowing orb and resuming his Hylian charm. "That's for traumatizing Mini-Me."

He was completely unfazed by the fireball that landed three inches from his foot.

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"Hello, this is Ninian," the answering machine droned, "I'm probably dead right now, so please leave a message, then wait for the afterlife to ask me. Kay? Bye."

Samus sighed. "Ninian's dead. So...how is it even possible for her to be Roy's mom?"

"Maybe..." Young Link said as he assumed a thinking look, "he's illegitimate."

"Meaning...?"

"He was born during the course of FE7."

"But there's no mention of him in the storyline, save for the end, where's he playing with that other girl, What's-Her-Face."

"Lilina...I think"

"Yeah, her."

Young Link scratched his chin. "So, before Ninian died, she and Eliwood did _that thing_, and then she laid him as an egg, before promptly getting herself killed."

"And then he hatched after the story?"

"Yeah. Num's thinking about writing a One-Shot on it, even though she's clueless on FE7 outside of this."

Samus shook her head and said nothing. Young Link stared boredly at the ceiling.

Both were oblivious to Num's horrible singing. "I'l be the Maaaaaarth... e.g. Noooooob..."

They were also oblivious to the Fierce Deity mask that fell from the ceiling with a "Do Not Equip Till Xmas" tag on it.

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Just an update on what's happening, that's all. I know it's disappointing but...hey, Fierce Deity.

CL: Zzzzzzzzzzz

My opinion exactly. Night, all!

Al: But it's 10:16. You can't be serious.

Well, on Friday, like all weekdays, I got up at about 6:20 AM.

PRAISE TEH CONSPIRACY THEORIES!!!


	35. Roleplaying

(-cough-) Well, I'm sorry about the really long delay, but...there's been a review shortage. That makes me sad. So I think peeps don't like the story and thus don't update.

Cloud: Hoo boy.

Shaddup, Chocobo Head! You're not even supposed to be here! (-Cloud leaves, dejectedly-)

YL: ...Well?

Yeah, yeah, I know.

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Well, since it's been awhile, like a few months, the whole "dragon battle" incident was cleared up, and Roy had actually gone home for a vacation. Either that, or wanted to avoid embarrassment in case he didn't make it into the next tournament, SSBB. Poor Roy. We'll have to bring him back sometime.

Also, Meta Knight had shown up at the mansion. He was, in fact, playing Raving Rabbids on the Wii. But this story isn't about him...

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"Hey YL!" Numdenu paused mid-flight to talk to him. "Why are you cowering in the corner?"

YL curled up into himself more. "Because last time you went hyper and flew around like that...well...you know...the thing...that I don't wanna think about...?"

"...Oh." Num settled from her frozen-in-motion pose to a casual floating one. "Well, guess what? I've been roleplaying!"

"Oh Goddesses no."

"Oh yes!" Num quivered as she tried to contain her emotion, rather oblivious of a bored Fox in the background. Two, actually: the Smasher we all know and love/hate/don't give a Pichu's ass about, and a regular four legged one. That is, if it could be called regular. It was a lilac color, with three tails, and about the size of a housecat.

YL looked at the three-tailed fox (not the Smasher) with interest. "Does that have something to do with it?"

"Huh?" Num looked behind her. "Oh! Yeah, yeah it does. That's Lyon."

"What the...?" The Smasher (not Fox) was confused. "But I thought Lyon was a kick-ass necromancer who looked kinda girlish..."

Num shrugged. "He got turned into a mini-Kyuubi. And no, nothing to do with _that_, all you Narutards." The Lyon-Kyuubi-fox (again, nothing to do with the Smasher) yawned boredly. The Smasher Fox decided to leave because he was fed up with all the parentheses.

"...Oh well!" Num suddenly chirped. "I was gonna make him do something absurd, but I guess I can't now. So..." With a flick of her silver quill, YL was surrounded in a bright glow, and when it faded...he had been turned into a little wolf pup! Really cute, too. And he even looked like the Twilight Princess Wolf Link! Awww...

YL examined himself with wide eyes, then glared up at Num. _"What the HECK did you do to me?! I'm not the wolf, Goddessesdammit!"_ This all came out as a bunch of barks, yips, and growls.

Num hesitated for a moment, then raised her quill in the air, where it transformed into the wand. "Well then! Let this place be RP-ified! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA—" she broke off into a coughing fit, then floated away through the wall.

YL let out a wolf sigh. _"Well, this is just great."_

"_Welcome to the club,"_ another voice chimed in.

"_What the—who are you?!"_

"_I'm LYON, dipstick."_ YL turned and stared at the little Kyuubi-fox. _"What? It's rude to stare."_

"_But you're...the necro dude! The one that pwns stuff like mad who looks like a girl!"_

"_...Ignoring that comment,"_ Lyon shook his head. _"Come on, we gotta get that mad Authoress to turn us back."_ He turned and started trotting down a hallway. YL growled to himself, but followed.

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"So...the Authoress turned you into a floating shade thing?" Marth asked some wicked cool looking guy who was swathed in shadow, his features hidden, with long, clawlike fingers, yellow eyes, an almost mecha-like design on one arm, and, strangely enough, blonde hair. He had no legs, his body instead trailing off into ether.

The figure looked up from its newspaper at Marth. "Yeah. And I heard that in order to appease some ferret, she gave you wings and turned you into a vampire."

Marth indeed had black wings folded neatly against his back. "Yeah, those and the vampire fangs. So...you used to be—"

"Still am, to an extent," The shade said boredly.

"...Edward Elric?" Marth finished. "That's really odd. Why would she turn _you_ into a floating shade thing?"

"Well, Mustang was a minor one...so was Armstrong, I think," The Ed-shade rubbed his chin with a claw, "and Al was some 'Lightbringer' thing. But hey, I'm pretty happy. I got to boss Roy around."

Marth flinched in surprise. "ROY was there?!"

"Yeah, he was a minor shade, like I said earlier."

"No you didn't mention him! You were talking about some Mustang guy!"

"Yeah, Mustang. ROY Mustang."

After a pause, Marth sighed. "We must be talking about different Roys."

"Huh." Ed shrugged and went back to his paper.

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Meanwhile, there was some kick-ass band playing away in a different room, one which YL and Lyon happened to come across.

"_What the heck are these guys doing here? And is it just me, or does that drummer look like Isaac?"_ YL asked, confused.

"_You're asking the wrong guy,"_ Lyon sighed.

The band stopped, and the drummer rose. "Nani?!"

Lyon flinched. _"That's not Isaac...that's Yoshiki."_

"_Wha...who is Yoshiki?"_

"_The drummer from this band called X-Japan,"_ Lyon explained. _"The band fell apart a long while ago. He's supposed to be joining Gackt's posse. I swear, he drums so fast and well, he's gotta be some Hindu god or something! You know, with the multiple arms and stuff?"_

"_His nose is...kinda beaky..."_ YL trailed off.

This whole conversation sounded like a bunch of barking, growling, whining, and various other canine noises to the band.

Then the bass guitarist looked straight at them. "What...the heck? It's a fox and a wolf..."

Both flinched back. _"Oh crap...THAT'S Isaac,"_ YL whined.

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"Hey." Ed peeked over his newspaper again. "There was some girl looking for you, Marth. Said her name was Ellis or somesuch."

"Wh-WHAT?!" Marth nearly fell over, his face twisted from his calm self to that of a spooked deer.

"...You know her?"

"She's...my...older...sister..." Marth said shakily. "And...she's supposed to be...DEAD!"

Ed's eyebrows went up, showing his interest. "Really? Dead woman walking? Well, sucks to be you."

"Whaddo I do? Whaddo I do? Gods, HIDE ME!" Marth proceeded to run in circles.

"Well..." Ed rose off his chair and floated there. "What reason would she have to come back and haunt you?"

The Prince looked around himself frantically, then froze and gasped. "The tiara! This is her tiara! She must have come back for it!" He removed the shining band from his hair and stared at it.

A snicker. "You...wear your sister's tiara? Oh, that's just rich." The shade/alchemist/shrimp doubled over laughing, then quickly ceased and glared at the narration. "Dammit, I am NOT a SHRIMP! Princey just got stuck in a taffy puller, I SWEAR!" He said, pointing an accusing claw at Marth.

"Wha?" Said Marth was clearly offended. "Taffy puller? Me? HELL no!"

"Then you're an anorexic!"

"No I'm not!"

"Then what are you, Navi's long lost brother?"

"How DARE you compare me to that glowing ball of light!" Marth's lips curled back, revealing the aforementioned vampire fangs, shining ivory.

"You wanna make something of it?" Ed asked threateningly, rising to his full height (which wasn't that impressive) and glaring straight into the vampire's soul.

Marth snarled at him. "Oh, it's on."

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Meanwhile, two figures were perched on top of a pair of tall spires, created exclusively for the purpose of creating drama and suspense. One rose slightly, a girl, with gargoyle-esque wings and a black braid dangling in her face, a stark contrast to the rest of her ocean colored hair. "Seems we're to be some kind of boss team," she spoke to her companion.

The other, a boy the same age with black wings reminiscent of a feathered bat, with dark violet hair messily framing his face, did not look at his partner. He did not look at anything at all, actually, his eyes being closed. "Boss team? So the Authoress is treating this like a kind of dungeon..."

"Well, it would certainly explain the existence of these dramatic, suspenseful spires," the first said. "...So...Do you see our prey?"

"Sis, I can't see at all," the second said as he sighed exasperatedly. "Remember?"

"...Right, sorry."

After a short silence, the boy turned to his sister. "...Sis? What'll we do if we mess up?"

"Simple." The girl smirked. "We just unleash...the Rabbit."

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Well, there's your daily dose of Fanfic-y goodness.

http(colon-slash-slash)www(dot)deviantart(dot)com(slash)deviation(slash)48782050(slash)?qby3Anumdenu+in3Ascraps&qhsort3Atime

The above link (nothing to do with the main character or his older self) will take you to my uber-kewl picture of the Shade Ed. If you have an account, PLEASE leave a comment!

YL: And please, review, so this fanfic can continue and LIVE!


	36. More RP Crap

Back, finally. Seems the RP chapter was accepted well.

Oathkeeper: Oh, joy. Now I have to get dragged in.

Yes you do, O Sentient Keyblade. Now shuttup.

P.S.: The blue-and-black haired girl from last chapter is my OC, but her brother belongs to Silver Ferret. Whoo.

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"_Craaaaaap!_" came the collective barks, growls, and whines of YL and Lyon, zipping down the halls. Long halls. They didn't seem to ever end. Oh dear, that can't be good...

Fortunately, they didn't have to run forever after crashing into a wall at the end of the hall. Whoo, rhyme. They seemed to have lost their pursuers as well, which was another good thing. Seemed everything started to look up.

Oh, they had no idea.

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It had been a pleasant day for Mewtwo so far. A chat with some "blood mage" OC who had been long forgotten, a smoothie, a short walk...errr, levitation-stroll thing. This sixteen year old in front of him ruined it all.

She had blonde hair, cropped short and arranged in layers, and was wearing a red vest concealing gleaming armor. A halberd was strapped to her back, and, strangest of all, there was a man bearing a standard following her whom she addressed as "Turnip". She called herself, "Escabur, Captain of Rohan" or some shit like that. Mewtwo had guessed she was from that new Lord of the Rings Online game. And worst of all, she was bugging him about having seen her older brother.

"Will you PLEASE answer me?!" Escabur practically yelled in his face. "My brother. Around nineteen, plays instruments well, wimpy, looks similar to me. HAVE YOU SEEN HIM OR NOT?!"

Mewtwo did not answer.

"Am I talking to a wall here?"

No answer.

"Are you deaf?"

No answer.

"Mute?"

No answer.

"Sprechen Sie Deutsch?"

Again no answer. Why didn't she just leave?

Then again, Mewtwo hadn't spoken to her at all, just attempted to ignore her. He was afraid he might have to answer.

"HELLO?!"

Mewtwo teleported away.

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The wall Lyon and Young Link had met was starting to move.

It parted, forming a doorway into a smaller corridor, looking for all the world like the entrance to some ancient Egyptian tomb. Num had been big on Egypt for a long while. The darkened sandstone corridors stretched as far as the eye could see, lit only occasionally by the odd torch. They weren't normal torches, though; the flames were a greenish color.

"_Everburning flames,_" Lyon yipped. "_Figures. I saw the Authoress with a copy of the Dungeons & Dragons Monster Manual recently._"

"_Oh, great. Now we'll probably have to face a basilisk or something,_" YL growled pessimistically as they entered the main corridor. The two wound their way through a mini-dungeon, but it was quite odd. Though there were the usual head-scratcher puzzles, there was something missing...

"_Where the HECK are the monsters?!_" YL barked.

"_Don't ask me,_" Lyon groaned. "_Though I suspect there's going to be a big battle coming up._"

They emerged into the final chamber. Its ceiling was so high you couldn't see it in the gloom, and the Everburning flames flickered across the walls of the room, sustained only by their magical nature. Humanoid shadows danced across the walls, but otherwise the room resembled the main chamber from the Arbiter's Grounds. The dungeon in TP, nothing to do with Halo.

Suddenly, figures rose all around them. All the same person, too, armed with the same weapon—something shaped like a key—but in many different forms. Normal, Valor, Wisdom, Master, Anti, Final...

"_Oh shit,_" Young Link whined. "_It's a horde of Soras._"

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Mewtwo was quite pleased where his teleport had landed him: smack in a front row seat to the battle of the century between the Vamp-Marth and the Shade-Edward. Talk about fun.

"You never call me SHORT!" Ed lashed out with his claws, but Marth parried with Falchion, dancing around the specter. The vampire then came from behind, grabbing both of Ed's hands and holding them away from himself, sinking in his fangs...

And quickly releasing. "Blegh! Nasty! Do you ever BATHE?!"

"I took a shower this morning, thank you much," Ed retorted, clearly offended even more. "You just don't like shade blood, ya wimp."

"Wimp?!" Marth snarled. "That's it, you're a dead man!"

"You said that fifteen times already. And YOU'RE the currently dead one."

"At least I'm a corpse with dignity!" Marth lashed out again, but this time it was Ed gracefully dodging across the room. The shade somehow managed to clap his hands together despite claws as long as short swords, energy crackling as he twirled and lunged.

"Now I got you!"

"Oh no you DON'T!" The vampire ducked out of the way, backflipping over the shade and preparing to plant his blade in Ed's skull. But the midget raised his claws up, expectantly waiting for Marth to impale himself. In response, black wings spread wide, and Marth flew upward. "Ha!"

Ed scowled. "What, you think I can't follow you?" he taunted, taking off after his foe.

Mewtwo sat back in a lawn chair and began munching on a bag of popcorn.

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"_Do these guys ever stop coming?!_" Lyon snarled, using his dark magic to knock away a Wisdom Sora.

YL swatted at a KH1 Sora. "_You're asking the wrong guy._"

"_Whatever. Just keep them away!_" Lyon nuked a Hot Dog Salesman Sora. "_Any idea where they're coming from?_"

"_Nope._" YL was busy mangling the wing of a Pixie Sora. "_Wait. Since when was Sora a Pixie? Or a Hot Dog Salesman?_"

"_I don't know, but keep fighting_," Lyon growled, blasting a Zora Sora.

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"Alvis? I'm bored," the gargoyle-winged, blue-haired girl sighed.

"Screw the world," said the lavender-haired one.

"You're part of the world, you know."

Alvis shrugged. "So? SCREW THE WORLD!"

"Just quit it, would you?"

"Screw YOU, Riane."

"What?!" The girl with the black braid—Riane—roared at her sibling. "Mom's gonna hear about this!"

"Screw her."

"Oh, you're really dead now."

"It's my catch phrase, okay sis? You should know that by now. Idiot."

"HEY!"

"SCREW THE WORLD!"

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Ah, another lousy update. Enjoy.

Alvis: Like I said, SCREW THE WORLD!

I know, complete turn around from his personality last chap. He got bored, what can I say?

Riane: We're very good actors.

Reeeeally...

Riane: Yep. I don't normally do suspense.

http//www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 45106823?qo11&qby3Anumdenu&qhsort3Atime+-in3Ascraps

AND

http//www. deviantart. com/ deviation/ 51387367?qo7&qby3Anumdenu&qhsort3Atime+-in3Ascraps

For pics of Riane. There are none available yet of Alvis.

Riane: WHOO!


	37. And Another Update

YL: Wait, lemme get this straight…you FORGOT this fanfic's SECOND ANNIVERSARY?!?!?

Eheh… (-sweatdrop-) Blame DevART?

YL: Just DevART?

…OKAY, OKAY, I WENT TO OTAKON! SO SHOOT ME!

YL: Gladly.

NO! I DIDN'T MEAN THAT LITERALLY!!!!!

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"RIAAAAAAANE!" Alvis skidded to a halt in front of his sister. "The rabbit tried to—wait, what are you doing?"

Riane was between two other sexy OC bishounen, one with reddish hawk wings, the other with black raven ones. "Oh, just my bitches. See, this one is Num's OC, Lyef of Akanea…" she indicated the hawk-winged one, then the raven-winged one, "…and that's Lucian, an OC of AngelicDragonPuppy, someone from DeviantART. He's a demon."

Alvis just nodded like he understood. "Eheh…right. Aren't you a little too young for those things, sis?"

"I'm not doing _that_, dimwit. Now, bug off, will ya? Go…uh…cosplay as DeepDive!Riku or something.

"Yeah, whatever." Alvis turned and sauntered away. But despite his body language, he actually did think that would be rather fun….

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"_Finally!"_ YL fell snout-first to the floor. _"Damn Soras…."_

"_It's not over,"_ Lyon interrupted.

"_WHAT?! We have to fight MORE?!"_

"_Just one…but he looks tough."_

"_Oh come on, we already beat Final Form Sora! How much tougher could this guy be?!"_

"_Let's just say…Fierce Diety tough."_

"_**WHAAAAAAAT?!**__"_

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"Woohoo!" Mewtwo cheered on the still continuing brawl. "Lookit them go!"

"Yeah, whatever." Jenna, who was inexplicably not only present but seated on a lawnchair, was too wrapped up in Tetris on her cell phone to care. "Tell me when there's fire."

"YOU WANT FIRE, BIATCH?!" Ed burst suddenly, clearly not appreciating the brawl being ignored. "If I have to, I'll perform fucking HUMAN TRANSMUTATION on AXEL if that'll get you to watch!"

Marth paused to stare at Ed blankly. "Didn't you learn from last time?"

"Aww, don't worry! All I have to do is give everything to the Gate, then I wind up on Earth, and I can take a plothole back! No worries!"

"…Do you do that often?"

"No, only once. That's how I got here."

"Axel would be nice," Jenna cut in. "That is, if all those fangirls hadn't performed brain surgery on him to turn him gay."

"They did?" Marth looked particularly scared at this thought.

"Yeah, really. Tried to pull the same thing on my brother!"

"Nuwai! RLY?" Mewtwo cut in.

"Ya RLY!" Ed burst. "They tried the same thing on me and Roy Mustang! And Envy, Scar, even Al!" He shuddered. "Even poor little Al!"

"ZOMG!" the rest burst as Ed had an angsty breakdown.

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The Fierce Diety Sora was indeed fearsome, two Keyblades in hand and two others circling above. His hair was lighter, and his eyes seemed to shine in the darkness from between the markings. He raised one Keyblade, the two hovering flying out to their quadruped targets.

Said quadrupeds were convinced this was not a fanfic, but the bowels of Hell itself from the second before they darted out of the way.

"_I HATE YOU, NUMDENU!"_ Young Link barked to the sky when he got a chance. _"I HATE YOU!!!!!"_

Everything froze. Lyon, the Fierce Diety Sora, even the torches. And the Authoress came from the wall. "Yeah, yeah, I know."

"_So you're finally showing, eh?"_

"Mmmm…well, hey. It's my BIRTHDAY! So I should be allowed to wander instead of waiting for you to show!"

"_Your…birthday."_

"Yep! Hope I get a tablet…so I can draw fun stuff. Heeheehee…."

"_As if your 'Trouble Twins' comics and the one with Piers going 'Blip' wasn't enough."_

"Well of course it wasn't! Now, if you'll excuse me, the italics are getting annoying, so…."

"_You'll make me human again?"_ YL suggested.

"Nope!" Num waved her quill, creating a flash. "Now you're a **talking** wolf!"

"WHAAAAAT?!" roared the now speaking YL wolf. "That's IT?!?"

"Nope! Now Lyon can talk, too! How about that?"

"I **STILL** HATE YOU!!!!"

"Mmm. Nice to know." With that, she poof'd.

YL looked around at the frozen…everything. "…Screw this. Where's the exit?"

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Just a quickie…but celebrate my birthday with me! WEEEEE!


	38. The Badger of Apollo

I HATE SCHOOL.

YL: I hate how long it takes you to update.

CL: At least she _is_ updating….

Thank you, Muse-chan!

CL: (-goes red-) Ch-chan?!

…STFU. Fanfic.

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A man trudged through the streets.

He was carrying a shield on his back, a spear in his right hand, and a sack was slung over his left shoulder. His garb consisted of a red, tattered cape, a Greek helmet, generic boots, and a leather thong.

Leonidas, King of Sparta, was returning from a quest to retrieve the legendary Badger of Apollo.

The quest had been a great success. Not to say it wasn't difficult. He had to traverse many foreign lands—ones with such names as Altea, The World That Never Was, Hyrule—before he found his quarry. The Badger of Apollo was lurking in the land of "Iselia" and tested him by summoning destructive, godly powers with cries like "Indignation" and such. But it did not matter now; the Badger was coerced, and now he was to return to his Sparta and use the power of the Badger.

Leonidas swore under his breath. He must have taken a wrong turn. In all his travels, he had never heard of a "Smash Mansion," nor did he ever cross a land called "Suburbia". He had asked directions many times, but all the Suburbians had stared at him strangely, laughed, and went on their way. Both races of people here had done the same—those called "Locals" and "Tourists", they were all the same.

Perhaps the Smash Mansionians…or whatever…would be kinder.

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"Please stop bawling," YL growled.

"B-but…but…poor little Al!" Ed bawled, practically tearing his eyes out with his ginormous claws. Jenna was talking to someone on her cell, Mewtwo had left to grab some popcorn, and Marth opted to stare at the mini-wolf.

"Shut up!"

"Noooo!"

"Stop it!"

"But Al!"

"…Is in the Author's Notes. Can it, already!"

"But-!"

"SHUT UP!"

"…Would anyone here know which way Sparta is?" asked Leonidas, who had somehow gotten inside.

Everyone just stared at him.

"Oh, no, not this again…."

Marth tilted his head. "Why do you need to go there?"

"Because!" Leonidas struck a pose. "I have retrieved the legendary Badger of Apollo, which will bring Spartans their victory against Xerxes!"

"…Hate to break it to you, but you die," Ed cut in. Wow, he stopped bawling.

"My fate does not matter if Sparta is gived its victory!"

YL peered at the grammar. "'Gived'?"

"…Given! Same difference! Where's Sparta?!"

Something in the bag over Leonidas' shoulder moved. "I'm not a badger, you ass."

"It speaks!" Leonidas brightened. "See? The badger speaks its riddles!"

"Nor am I an 'it'," the bag replied. "I am a 'he', thank you much. Let me out of here."

The Spartan paid no attention. "It calls down the destructive might of the gods!"

Jenna thought for a moment. She could've sworn she heard that voice before….

"Are you entirely sure that's a badger?" YL asked hesitantly, studying the bag with (literally) puppy dog eyes. "It talks like a human."

"You're all the same," the bag taunted. "Humans are bumbling idiots. Then again, you probably think I'm one because you can't see my face, or any part of me, for that matter. I'm in a freaking bag. A freaking bag being carried by a freaking idiot. Now get me out of here, for the last time!"

"And what are you gonna do, rant at me?" YL said, returning the taunt. "If you could see out of that freaking bag, you'd be able to tell that I am a Hylian, not a human. There are many humans here, but I, sir, am not one of them. You should know better than to guess someone's race merely from the sound of their voice."

The bag huffed. "Why shouldn't I call you a human if you do the same to me? You, who have no idea who or what I am, call me a human out of ignorance of my true nature. I could be a glob of slime, for all you know, though I assure you I am not. Then again, do you know whether or not I'm lying? For all you know, I could be Navi with a voice changing device, had I not announced that I was male!"

Jenna rubbed her chin. She was positive she had heard that voice before, but not in her own fandom.

"Is that a challenge?"

"What, resorting to steel? Are you afraid of a battle of wits?"

"Why you little--!"

"I can at least tell that your voice is lower to the ground than, say, Edward Elric," the bag continued, causing the name mentioned to fume at the short joke. "Hence, it would be unwise to call me 'little', seeing as you are smaller."

"Fuck logic!"

"Then it seems I have won."

YL paused for a moment. "…Damn it!"

"The badger speaks!" Leonidas cawed. "See how it shall bring Sparta victory?"

The bag sighed. "Not a badger."

"See the riddles it speaks?!"

"I'm not speaking riddles, merely pointing out the obvious. You should have been able to tell I was not a badger the moment you saw me. Besides, what would a badger of Apollo be doing in lands that were not his? And yet you drag me from my home, throw me in a sack, and travel from world to world, lost and confused. Might I add, you have fed me nothing, nor let me have any water, both of which are unwise actions. You would not want me to expire before you reached your Sparta, and, might I add, I can cook much better things than the slop I've heard you devouring.

"Furthermore, merely because I have the power to aid you does not mean that I must. While I have demonstrated my (rightly praised) magic, I was doing so out of self-defense. There is no guarantee that I will fight alongside you against hordes of Persians when you have only 300 men; I would rather run for my own life, thank you much. Nor is there a guarantee that I will not turn against you, perhaps face-to-face on the field of battle. Or perhaps I will poison your dwindling food supplies with my sister's notorious cooking."

All present were reeling from the two-paragraph rant, by far the longest spiel in the fanfic's two-year history.

"…To put it briefly," The bag said on a closing note, "I am not the Badger of Apollo, but an innocent dragged from his home. So put me down."

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"Fuck logic!"

"Then it seems, Miss Riane, that I have won."

"…Damn it!" Riane swore, not realizing those very lines were a mirror image of YL's argument with a bag.

A bishounen with waist-length silver hair, garbed in a green and tan cloak, and with a quite large axe strapped to his back merely shrugged indifferently and turned away. "See? The authoress at least _enjoys_ drawing me."

"Go shove it up your ass, Matthias."

"Riane! Riane!" Alvis stumbled in, wearing an Org. XIII coat and blindfold. "How's this look on me?"

Riane stared at him a moment. "…You…took my suggestion."

"Well, why not? I'm bored as heck."

"Then feed the Rabbit."

"HELL no! Do you think I have a death wish?!"

The bickering of the siblings continued, the new OC, Matthias, merely standing back and watching. Behind them all, a figure descended a dramatic gothic stairwell. "Original characters. It is time."

Everyone shut up.

"The protagonist draws near," he continued. "And with him, the climax. Prepare for battle, and don't feed the Rabbit. It'll be all the more potent a weapon."

"Yes, Chibi-san," they droned.

"The Authoress awaits your victory. Do not disappoint."

"We understand."

Chibi Link smiled smugly. "Good." And he retreated up the stairwell.

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And now, **another of my spiffeh contests**! Two, actually!

YL: Groan.

First one, find the details on **my DeviantART account**. Same user name, look me up! You'll also find some pics of this "Matthias" OC.

Matthias: Woohoo!

CL: As for the other contest, you must **guess which non-Smasher is in Leonidas' bag!** The first one to guess correctly receives **a cameo next chapter**!

Great job, Muse. Care to give them a hint?

CL: Listen up, this is the only one. Your clue is one word: **Symphonia**.

YL: …Symphonia. Freakin' Symphonia.

…Until next time, reviewers!


End file.
